After Six Years it's exactly the same...

[bimmyboy]

OK, everybody bear with me here I'm gonna try and make this as concise as possible

 

Alright a little time line to start... The girl in question I started dating when I was 18. First real serious relationship. We went out for three years. Then I had a two year relationship with another girl and then I met my exwife, we were together for about 4 years, very recently divorced (thats all good btw).

 

She is two years younger than me (me currently 27, her 25) looking back our relationship I would have to say to date is the deepest most fulfilling I have ever had. I previously had chalked this up to being young, inexperienced, unguarded and basically not knowing anybetter . I broke up with her because I felt at that time in my life (21) I/We needed a broader range of life experiences before we could commit to something much more serious, which is the way it looked like it was going. It was already really serious - she basically lived with me at the time. It was pretty messy both on my end and hers, I changed my mind after a couple months and she was angry and didn't want to get back together... Then shortly after she started going out with a very good friend of mine. They are still together

 

After it was apparent things weren't gonna work out we went NC. For probably two or three years. Then we'd talk or have lunch every year or two. She always initiated the contact. She has been still seeing/living with this same friend of mine (whom I really didn't consider a friend after all of that, whether that was my inmaturity or just inability to deal with the situation, I didn't feel like he acted in a very friend like way) Anyways, recently about a month or two after I had seperated from my exwife she contacted me again. This time it wasn't a couple one-off conversations but we talked through Instant Messanger ALL day, EVERY day for about a month and a half. We would talk about nothing and everything if you know what I mean. The connection we shared 6 years ago was still very much there, it was like we never dropped a beat.

 

So these in these conversations it was always obvious about our still remaining feelings for each other, punctuated with sexual inunendos and the like. Trying to paint a picture for you it was like if I stubbed my toe or if her dog looked at her funny we would share that with each other. She would want to share it with me before she would with her BF. It became apparent after a while that this was becoming a problem as she was still very much involved with this other guy. She certainly shared their relationship shortcommings with me and her opinions of him and I pretty quickly had a clear picture of their relationship. It coincidently reminded me of my relationship with my exwife.

 

So after about a month of us talking we decided to meet to try and figure this out... Which was incredibly awkward yet very candid. We decided that given the situation we would go back to No Contact. That way I wasn't led on and she wouldn't do something that she found morally reprehensible.

 

That lasted about an hour. We decided that because neither of us wanted to stop talking that we wouldn't. The following two weeks led to escalated contact, always by phone or txt or IM. Now, she does book keeping work aside from her usual job and I have a media company that was recently with out book keeping services. So I thought it would be reasonable if she took on that new roll, I didn't mind helping her that way and it seemed mutually beneficial. In retrospect it looks like it was a thinly veiled excuse to have more contact with each other. So we met face to face again, she brought another girl she was going to be doing the work with (kind of doubled as a chaparone so she wouldn't do anything )

 

It's a good thing she did because for the whole 3hrs we just eye****ed each other and it was basically unbearable both ways. So next day, we were txting which turned into sexting. And then we had a big discussion today which boiled down her having just bought a house with this guy and she's like "I don't wanna be homeless, he'd kick me out...." blah blah blah. I understand her concern. So basically now, it's we've gone NC again and I think it's gonna stick this time cause I'm certainly not going to even try and communicate with her because I basically can't deal with it. It was like, when we were talking she was ALL I thought about. ALL the time. And vise versa to some degree although obviously she is still in a relationship and I've recently gotten out of one so it's apparent which way the scales were tipped.

 

A quote from her: "i know its not fair to either of us, my mind is going crazy, i feel like im deceiving and manipulating for my own benefits, and i feel now you trailing along trying to ffigure out what to do here...i worry if i dont leave now, ill regret it, and i worry if i do leave now, ill be making a descision based on 'what if's'..."

 

So she's obviously confused and has no idea wtf to do. Rather than making decisions based on feelings she's all about the logic and how it impacts her immediate situation. I'm more about the forest and looking at the trees later.

 

Alright my question to the infinitely knowledgable LS community... Any kind of comment is appreciated

 

1) Is this just 'First Love' kinda stuff that doesn't go away

 

2) The way I feel about this girl is really 'The One' kinda territory - similar interests, personalities, goals, plans, humor, activities.... Amazing sex.

Is this just me more romanticizing the past or whats the deal?

 

3)Should I just go NC until the next time she contacts me? - I don't know if I have the strength to not talk to her when that happens

 

4) She's obviously got my number cause well I don't really play a game with her it's all up front 100% honest. Should I work this situation to what I want or would that just be plain evil?

 

5) Why do I feel like I know whats best for her, I know I have a vested interest but I work as hard as I can to remain objective...

 

thx guys

[BackonTrack2]

Word to the wise,

If she will cheat WITH YOU, she will cheat ON YOU.

[bimmyboy]

That crossed my mind, so she may well be 'emotionally cheating' on this dude but she has yet to even kiss me let alone **** me. Oh and she wants to. I admire her actually cause I don't think I have the will to do that