my herat hurts so much

[ravespaceman]

Go Ask Alice!:

hi.

my girlfriend broke up with me 4 days ago and i really cant handle it. i love her so much and it hurts so bad. we went out almost 2 years and they were the best of my life. eventhough we didn't really like eachother at the start it suddendly about a year ago became the most wonderful relationship and we loved eachother so very very much (me 24 her 21 years old). the 4 days ago she told me she wants to break up with me cause she doesnt love me anymore and that she'd need time to her own. that broke me so me.

i met her the day after and tried to get her back which didnt happen. i told her how much i'd love her and if she ever wanted to come back i'd be taking her back without hesitating. then i met her again yesterday and i asked her if there was any love left in her at all and she said yes but not enough and we both cried.

i just dont beleive that she doesnt feel for me anymore just like that all of the sudden. i just dont know what to do anymore its so damn hard. nothing will cheer me up i cant even take her picture outta my wallet. all i think about all day is her. i'm scared that she walkes up to me and says she'll never be back again.

 

please help me please

[PurpleAngel]

Breaks-ups SUCK… they hurt, are confusing and very hard. Look I know its hard to comprehend, and in the beginning there is always an element of shock that follows the break-up. BUT as much as you would like to believe that she still loves you and wants you, you have to hear her words. This is no game. If this is what she wants, you cant MAKE her do anything OR for that matter assume what she does or doesn’t want. She has told you what she wants you to hear and believe.

 

Please don’t take it as a personal rejection… I am sure she has her reasons for leaving, you must give her some time. Don’t pressure her. Let her think about what she really wants. Time can only tell what will happen, BUT having said that DON’T expect anything. They say time heals… mmm… well whether that is true or not I don’t know BUT one thing I know is that time puts things into perspective, learn to have faith in life and believe in yourself to be able to make your life better no matter who leaves. You must LIVE for yourself, not another! Remember when you are alone, look inside and find yourself… ultimately you are the one that is always there SO look after yourself in this difficult time. Heal yourself and you will see. Only good things can come to pass.

 

I cant really say anything to mend your broken heart but just know that as time passes you will understand more and more about why this had to be as such and have faith that there is someone out there that is right for you.

[adidas6380]

i know how you feel. i am kinda going through the same things but my girls doesw want to come back. when she first broke up with me i didnt know what to do. i didnt eat or sleep. that was stupid. but finally i started to go out. and what i thought would be a long time with me hurting has turned into me hurting becaue now i have to decide who i really want to be with. see because i started going out again and acting like i used too i found someone else and now i dont know what ot do about that. she ment so much to me and i thought my life was over. but you need to stay back some. dont keep asking her about this stuff. it only pushes her away even more. give her time but at the same time makesure you are happy. take a step back and look at it from another perspective. it might not even be what you wanted. there is always someone better out there for you. never sell yourself short. go out have fun discover new things. good luck

[829mxer]

i was dumped by a girl i was with for 3-1/2 years. she told me she did't love me as a boyfriend anymore. i love the girl to death, there is nobody in this world i care about more than her. as if that was not hard enough, she moved out of my house and in with one of my best friends. this was supposed to be temporally only but now they are thinking of getting a house together to top that off it turns out she is interested in one of my other "somewhat friend". bottom line i have no best friends anymore and nobody to turn to but my mom. it cant get much worse.

[julieg]

the guy i left after 5 years has come back to haunt me. here is why- i basically dumped him and did an emotional shut down. i wouldn't see him or talk to him. i pretended that i didn't care about him romantically or love him anymore. i convinced myself and threw myself into my work and friends. later on (years) i had a breakdown and didn't connect it to my breakup with my boyfriend.

 

bottom line--- if she loves you she will only be able to hide it for so long. unless she is cold and heartless.

[829mxer]

ravespaceman

I feel like we are going through the (almost) same situation. She told me she loves me more then any other person in this world! Just not as a boyfriend. It is hard. I don't know how much of that to believe but she seems like she means it. I still feel rejected, excluded, and unimportant by her and my 2 best friends I have known for 15 years. The only way I am dealing with this is by making myself do one thing a day that will improve ME as a person each day. Get a membership to a gym, read a self-help book, do something. You can make it on your own. YOU WILL BE FINE. In relationships the love has to be mutual. 3 days after the breakup I am realizing that, the sooner the better. I made many mistakes in my relationship but now I am trying to better MYSELF so I don't make those mistakes again. I came to grips that the relationship just wasn't going to work out NOW. I believe there is hope for the future, but is that just me lying to myself? We are going through the same crap at the same time your not the only one feeling low. You may think that your ex-girl was the nicest in the world but so do I. mine was perfect. I took little things she did for granted now they are gone. That’s in the past it probably won’t happen again, if she dose come back it will take time and it must be true, mature love. It’s the hardest thing in the world right now but WE NEED TO LET GO. The only way to deal with this is to talk. Believe it or not drugs/alcohol only postpones emotions.