Replaced and erased by an ex

[AmySmith]

My ex and I broke up about 3 months ago. We had a great relationship, so we ended on a pretty good note. We continued talking after we broke up, but then he started seriously dating another girl a week and a half after our break up (telling her he loved her immediately, planning vacations, the works). I didn't suspect that he was cheating with her because we were together every single day, i honestly don't think he had time to cheat. He has not contacted me since. I understand that people date and stuff after breaking up, but I can't shake this feeling of being completely and totally replaced by this new girl. I feel as though he has erased me from his life completely, like I was absolutely nothing to him, regardless of the fact that we had a very serious and passionate relationship. He deleted me as a friend from all his social networking sites, and this may seem very trivial, but he even went as far as to erase every single picture of us off facebook and untag every picture he's been in with not only me, but with pictures he's been in with my friends. There was upwards of 200+ pictures of us on there. It's just weird that he took the time out to do that. It hurts because we had such a nice relationship that I didn't think he would ever do something like this to me, to just erase me from his life. I often get the urge to confront him, but I know it would do not good. However, sometimes, I find myself just wanting him as a friend because he truly was a good guy, but I know that if i contacted him, even in a friendly way, he would refuse me and I would get hurt.

 

Has anyone ever felt erased and replaced? It's been three months and I am still a bit sad about the whole situation. If this has happened to you, how did you deal with it?

[Beeotch]

What was the reason you all broke up?

 

Yes I know the feeling...my ex and I had a good relationship and we broke up not because of anything he didn't like about me but circumstance. He now has a new gf and when I found out I was SHOCKED! And felt erased and replaced. Although it has been 6 months...I am still shocked because up until a month ago before I stopped contacting him, he was still trying to talk to me and do things with me that we had planned before our break up....so it just seemed incredible that he is in a new relationship.Like you I also KNOW he was not cheating because he simply would not have ahd the time...I was always with him.

 

I mean I went on a date and all that after we broke up...spoke to other men...but not some full on relationship. The only good part is that he hasn't erased my pictures or deleted me off his social network lists and all that. But the replaced/erased feeling is there.

 

I do believe it is a rebound scenario though and with your ex it is perhaps no doubt the same. Especially those drastic measures of deleting you and all that...maybe he did it out of respect for his new girl...or because it hurts to look at them. I still love my ex but all pics and stuff of him...I put them away. I cannot bear to look at them. I didn't have all these pics up of him on my social sites but If I did I would delete them as well...it doesn't mean he meant nothing...I just don't need to look at them.

 

I want to give you some more encouraging words...but right now I myself am a bit down....one of my low days...so I will be back when I do

[gavinus]

the reason your ex erased you and has moved on is because he no longer wants you in his life and does not want any reminders of the two of you. He may very well be in a rebound relationship and if so it will fail eventually but you have to accept that once people break up all the promises you made to each other become worthless. It sounds like you still care for him but you need to focus your energy on you and accept it is over, its his loss and stay strong. How do I know? My ex did the same thing to me, it hurts like hell some days, and its totally not fair but the one meant for you is out there somewhere and every second you waste thinking about your ex is another second of YOUR life gone, and another second that you have given your power up to someone who hurt you, is you ex worth that much?? I don't think so, take care and stay strong

[vee6winks]

I too felt replaced and erased. He dumped me and within days he had another girlfriend that he spends all his time with. I couldn't understand it. We had been together for 6 years..and I don't think I would have been so mad had he just given me some respect. I felt like I had gotten no respect from him as a woman, as a person, or as someone he spent the last 6 years with.

 

I understand your pain and I know its hard to accept and I cant believe I am going to say this but no contact was/is truly the best way to go. I think about it frequently (more than i'd like to admit) and every day I want to call and say..dude..wtf? Did you really not love me? Cause if you did....how could you jump from me right to another woman? Its a hard pill to swallow - on I have trouble with every day - but rebound or not - he just did not want to be with ME anymore. And I think you are in the same boat.

 

I've had to learn to let it go and I think you do.

[scienceguy]

Yep. It happened to me too. My ex was a very close friend for several years and my g/f for about a year. Even though we had known each other for over five years, and spoken to one another on a daily basis for three years, she broke up with me and erased me out of her life like nothing had happened. I wasn't her boyfriend or friend--just a piece of trash that got in the way.

 

At the time, I didn't deal with it well. At first, I was confused, and when I gradually realized that I was quickly erased from her life, it caused an awful lot of pain for me. I was so bewildered and couldn't move on.

 

Anyways, to answer your question about how I dealt with it---I learned to accepted it. That's all you really can do. Some people are just callous in their behavior, and it appears he's one of those types of people. You can confront him (I confronted my ex), but it will not do you any good. There are no rules of conduct in relationships, and if he wants to do that to you, he can. It's incredibly immature and disrespectful but that's his choice.

 

In the end, I learned I deserved better than that crap, and you do too. There's a big world out there, and tons of guys for you. He's just one of them, and an immature one at that.