any advice would be nice

[M-man]

I am a pretty shy guy. I have had a few relationships but nothing really long(4 months tops), not being in many I have been unsure about asking about sexual things, like if she has had sex.... but mostly talking about us, do most people talk about things before they do them? Such as anything: blowjobs, fingering a girl... things like that. Being a shy guy I am not one to open myself up like talking about those things. I know I need to open up but how do I do it? Should it be casually like asking her if she likes being fingered or giving blowjobs or is there another way to bring the subject up?

 

Any advice would be great-thanks

[Christy Canyon's Husband]

Many ladies will come right out and ask. But the best way is probably to make moves in each direction you would like to explore VERY SLOWLY. The girl will usally pick up on what you are wanting to do. If there is resistance, pull back. Otherwise, keep proceeding slowly. That's probably the most romantic way to do it as well. Additionally, if you are inexperienced, proceeding slowly will allow you to experiment and explore and, that too, will impress your lady.

 

Now, if you are talking about getting to the point in your relatinship of having sex, you have to put out subtle hints at first and see her reaction. I promise if that's what she is wanting and the relationship is not a brand new one, you will hear from her. Pay attention to what she says and does. And believe me, as you date you will meet girls that want to do it right off the bat...they aren't even interested in dinner or a movie. There are just all kinds.

 

Girls look to guys to make some moves. And don't be discouraged if they resist initially. That's there way of telling you they are nice girls or they aren't easy. Just back off and go there again another time.

 

You'll be a super stud in no time. But forget about this shy business. I mean forget it. Girls like men and while some find it cute, most are not turned on by shyness where sex is concerned. To get what you want in life, you have got to move on it. Being shy can be a curse. Find out what's making you feel insecure and get over it.

 

This is all an intuitive and instinctual thing. Man had sex for 40 million years, and quite satisfactorilly in most cases I believe, before the Internet was invented.

[LT]

Follow CCH's advice, but about being shy...

 

It's ok to be shy as long as it doesn't hold you back from at least trying. It's ok to admit being nervous too...some women will really appreciate having that affect on you. Just don't try to overcompensate and pretend to be something you're not because a woman worth her salt will pick up on that right away. Be yourself, admit your shyness, and she'll appreciate whatever efforts you make.

 

LT

I am a pretty shy guy. I have had a few relationships but nothing really long(4 months tops), not being in many I have been unsure about asking about sexual things, like if she has had sex.... but mostly talking about us, do most people talk about things before they do them? Such as anything: blowjobs, fingering a girl... things like that. Being a shy guy I am not one to open myself up like talking about those things. I know I need to open up but how do I do it? Should it be casually like asking her if she likes being fingered or giving blowjobs or is there another way to bring the subject up? Any advice would be great-thanks

[Ajay]

M-man:

 

If you're that shy, I can't imagine you would feel comfortable just out and out talking about sex (and obviously you are, because here you are in this forum asking questions -- why not talk to friends, family, or a physician?). I think this is a wonderful place for just such advice, so I'll give you my angle:

 

When you get close enough to a girl to "advance" to that level, she'll probably be aware of you're "shyness", lack of experience, or that you are just uncomfortable. I say, take it slow. I don't think directly asking her about her sexual experience is such a good idea. These things will come up in your discussions as you get to know each other better.

 

When the moment finally arrives, and you find yourself ready to "make your move", talk to her then. When you touch her, ask "is it okay if I...", "do you like it when I..." She too may be shy and uncomfortable; but by going slow and talking about it, you'll both enjoy it more.

 

However you decide to handle it, I admire you for asking in the first place. It shows you're thinking about things BEFORE they happen -- that's a good sign. Rememer sex is a lot more than just b.j.s and banging. You'll want to discuss other aspects as well, including protection from STDs, birth control, and consequences (both emotional and physical) that can result. You need to be aware that sex can change a relationship, big time...

I am a pretty shy guy. I have had a few relationships but nothing really long(4 months tops), not being in many I have been unsure about asking about sexual things, like if she has had sex.... but mostly talking about us, do most people talk about things before they do them? Such as anything: blowjobs, fingering a girl... things like that. Being a shy guy I am not one to open myself up like talking about those things. I know I need to open up but how do I do it? Should it be casually like asking her if she likes being fingered or giving blowjobs or is there another way to bring the subject up? Any advice would be great-thanks

[suzanna]

really there isn't an exact way to bring those things up. Maybe it would make it a little easier on you if you put some humor into it. Don't take everything so seriously. But take things slow, you can't just jump into things like that. It might scare your girl.