nightmares.

[charlie]

yesterday my ex and i broke up. we'd been going out for about 3 years. it was probably the worst night of my life. we were talking outside the bar about why we haven't been the same as of late and we both said some things in drunken anger. she got home before me and she had all of her important stuff sitting outside the door. at first i tried to talk to her reasonably but she was in such blind anger that i gave up after a while. her anger was contagious because i started throwing some of her stuff out the door. after she left, my roomate and i sat talking about what we were going to do now that our lease will have to be broken.

mentally, i thought i was going to be fine. my anger was still fresh and i felt nothing but hurt and cold inside.of course last night while i slept i had a dream about her. we were talking about how dumb christians can be and all the sushi places we still needed to check out. the most important part of the dream i can remember is that she was laughing, she was smiling. god she was smiling. we were both so happy. of course i had to wake up and now my day is already ruined. i'm a complete wreck. i want to call her cell phone so badly but i can't let myself do that. after typing this i think i'll curl up in the wreckage of our now former apartment and let the cat lick my tears. why did i have to have that terrible dream... i feel like i would sell my soul just for one more chance. i wish i could have lived in that dream forever.

[meanon]

It sounds to me like you remembered why you love her. Don't let a three year relationship end because of a drunken fight. Call her and say sorry for the things you said in anger. How do you know she doesn't feel the same way unless you try? What do you have to lose? Don't let pride get in the way - love is worth more than this. Good luck.