lukewarm Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 So here’s the deal. This guy and I, yes this is one of those - about a girl having troubles with a boy. Anyway, to make it short we’ve known each other (talking, flirting, hanging out) for about 8 months now. We started out definitely just as friends. There were underlying issues such as him just recently getting over a 3-year relationship he was in, I was seeing someone else then that ended, then he was seeing someone else and then that was over. And about more than two months ago, just our [bad?] luck we were both single, not seeing anyone else as far as I was concerned. We started hanging out more, a month later we became intimate sexually. Here is a key point: we never established what we are/were, at one point we were saying we enjoy each other’s company, we both like each other, but that we were only “friends”. Three weeks ago he went out of town for vacation, he got back in last week I didn’t hear from him until yesterday (I didn’t try contacting him when he got back - I have learned about guys that if they want to talk to you you’ll hear from them, if not then not and so I applied that practice). So he texted me yesterday..we texted back and forth a little bit until no response from him…Now very early this morning, he texted me responding to the last text I sent him from yesterday…In the middle of the text, he squeezed in saying that he was with “the gf” that was his words and his phone was at home. “THE GF? WHAT THE ****?” i thought in my head, that bomb of a text was way too early for me when I read it, he never mentioned anything about “the gf” up til now. Where the hell did that come from? I feel fooled and stupid and hurt. Did he have that girlfriend the entire time I was fooling around with him? I am beyond pissed off if that was the case, I am not that kind of girl. Did it just recently get serious? So he fools around with me and make someone else his “gf”? Also another thought crossed my mind, he could be just making this up so I would get serious with him, I have told him before I did not want to be more than friends (not because of him it was just that I don’t want a boyfriend in my life right now). Could he be lying? If that is the case, then he’s an immature child (that’s so stupid and childish, so that can’t possibly be - just a thought). My trouble is, I don’t know what to say to him, he expects I’d still talk to him and be friends because now thinking about it that’s all we really were by definition. I wish I just didn’t hear from him at all, why did he have to, was it like - “oh hey i’m still alive why am i not hearing from you but ps. ive got a gf now! you lost your chance booyah!”???? I am confused at the moment, you want what you can’t have bull**** seems to be at work here. I still am considering staying in touch with him minus the sex definitely, I’m just not sure how I should go about things. This turned out long, but I just had to get weird feelings off my chest. Thanks if you actually read from beginning up til this point. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
stace79 Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Well first off, if you have any interest at all in being in a R with a guy, do NOT have sex with him. From your description of the conversations, it sounds like he viewed you as a FWB. I would casually ask when this new relationship started, ask a little about the girl, then drop it. It won't matter how/when/why it all happened if he does in fact now have a gf. Either you can go back to being "just a friend" or you need to distance yourself from this guy completely. I am afraid he may have used you. Link to post Share on other sites
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