silic0ntoad Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Sorry, was just trying to mediate. Don't apologize. This person simply assumes they know everything about everyone. It's cool though. Thanks for at least understanding where some of us come from, quite unlike arrogant people who insist their word is law. Link to post Share on other sites
SCooke Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I have no desire for a brownie because there is no respect that goes along with it. You are like a cute child who women pat on the head and go awww but 9 times out of 10 they will be attracted to the man who has the balls to put them in their place. I am a happily married man while you are pining for your woman to come back to you. I have read your posts and you sound like the typical nice guy. If you have a better strategy than me why am I the one that is actually successful in love Well, if you are happily married and have the opinions you do about women, then I do feel for your wife. Why don't we ask her if she's happy? And if being nice is my biggest fault in life, then I'll take that. Please spare me this whole nice guys are doormats and jerks get all the ladies BS. You probably read that from a dating guru web or something...Women DO NOT like or respect mysoginysts and ignorant people that spew ridiculous things about how MEN are victims of society. Just because I live in the 21st century , am educated and recognize the importance of equality , it doesn't make me a doormat. You can be confident, assertive and attarctive without being an ignorant jerk. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 That doesn't say anything at all about the situation that led to filing for divorce. Is a woman filing for divorce because her husband is abusing her the same as a woman filing for divorce because she's bored with the marriage? The sole fact that person X initiated the divorce doesn't tell you anything about the problems in the marriage. Some problems aren't fixable and some problems aren't worth fixing. The person filing for divorce isn't automatically someone who doesn't want to put the effort into fixing the marriage. When, ever did this come out of my mouth? No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship. I am simply stating. 3/4's of divorces are filed by women. I didn't demonize women with that statement. And if you think I did, that's your own insecurities creeping up. Look, I SPECIFICALLY said in other posts that both parties are to blame. Yet I have to eat a mile of sh*t for it? Patronize someone else. Christ. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 LOL. You are ridiculous. Do you even read what I post? Or simply try to belittle people with rhetoric? Read above. I specifically said I was NOT a victim. I don't view life from the eyes of a victim. Yet, you insist that you know me, and that I will fail. Funny. Ever think MAYBE you're brushing a bit of your own inner turmoil off on people? I'm sorry, I apologize that I don't have relationship precognition, and that I can't tell exactly what someone will do before they do it.No, you don't have relationship precognition but you do KNOW 3.3 billion women who you've never met and ascribe behaviours on women who file divorces. Hmmm... Keep on fighting the fight then. Yup, all us wimmins are looking for suckers, so we can tromp on your tender little victim hearts and rip them out raw and bleeding, to feast on. Mmmm...fresh heart of victim. So yummy. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetjasmine Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 When, ever did this come out of my mouth? No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship. I am simply stating. 3/4's of divorces are filed by women. I didn't demonize women with that statement. And if you think I did, that's your own insecurities creeping up. Look, I SPECIFICALLY said in other posts that both parties are to blame. Yet I have to eat a mile of sh*t for it? Patronize someone else. Christ. You're putting words in my mouth. I didn't mean to imply that you think anyone should stay in an abusive relationship. I'm simply pointing out that you're misusing a statistic that isn't even accurate. All I'm saying is this: that one person formally files for divorce tells you next to nothing about what caused the marriage to get to that point. The statistic is pretty useless. It doesn't tell you whether one gender is more willing to work on the marriage than the other. It doesn't tell you whether one gender cheats or messes up more than the other. It doesn't tell you anything other than "women are more likely to walk into the office and file first". From here: Two-thirds of all divorces are initiated by women. One recent study found that many of the reasons for this have to do with the nature of our divorce laws. For example, in most states women have a good chance of receiving custody of their children. Because women more strongly want to keep their children with them, in states where there is a presumption of shared custody with the husband the percentage of women who initiate divorces is much lower. Also, the higher rate of women initiators is probably due to the fact that men are more likely to be "badly behaved." Husbands, for example, are more likely than wives to have problems with drinking, drug abuse, and infidelity. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 No, you don't have relationship precognition but you do KNOW 3.3 billion women who you've never met and ascribe behaviours on women who file divorces. Hmmm... Keep on fighting the fight then. Yup, all us wimmins are looking for suckers, so we can tromp on your tender little victim hearts and rip them out raw and bleeding, to feast on. Mmmm...fresh heart of victim. So yummy. You clearly have a flawed perception of reality. People DO sh*t to other people. It's not your choice that always inhibits blame. Clearly, you haven't accepted that. Sure, I can point at you, and say it was your fault you married a cheating d-bag. But I have more integrity than to assume that people aren't below doing some low @$$ sh*T like cheating, or leaving with no reason. I don't view the world from the POV of a victim. But, not to pull your halo down, perhaps it's time you looked in the mirror, and reflected on someone else's atrocious storied before you pass harsh judgement on others. Kharma is a hard thing to deal with. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Statistics show that people who are looking for a lifepartner will 100% fail until they find someone they can be with for life... Link to post Share on other sites
SCooke Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Pretty much but the men who have not softened up are the real winners. Women get frustrated with the doormats because they have zero appeal and the doormats get chewed up and spit out by these empowered women. Also most of these empowered. women have zero appeal to the real men they desire for anything more than a cheap thrill. The few real men that are left have their pick of women to play around with and some of them even get lucky enough to find one of the few good women that are left. Let me guess, you consider yourself one of the "few real men left". Wow, classic. How is “empowered” bad in any way, for any gender? Love is not a zero sum game! There is the possibility that two empowered people can thrive together. As long as you keep looking at it from the point of view that “a stronger woman = a weaker man”, you'll never ever get the point of it all. Please, read some real books, educate yourself instead of regurgitating cliché’s like jerks get the girls, nice guys finish last. Nothing is ever that simple. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 You're putting words in my mouth. I didn't mean to imply that you think anyone should stay in an abusive relationship. I'm simply pointing out that you're misusing a statistic that isn't even accurate. All I'm saying is this: that one person formally files for divorce tells you next to nothing about what caused the marriage to get to that point. The statistic is pretty useless. It doesn't tell you whether one gender is more willing to work on the marriage than the other. It doesn't tell you whether one gender cheats or messes up more than the other. It doesn't tell you anything other than "women are more likely to walk into the office and file first". From here: Like I said, I didn't say what caused it. I just said they are the first to walk away. Did I say men don't cheat, lie or become alcoholic? No. I never said that. And yes, I think divorce laws are completely outdated. A friend of my fathers wife cheated on him, filed divorce due to loss of common interest, and ended up with the kids, the house, alimony, palimony, you name it. How is THAT fair? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 You clearly have a flawed perception of reality. People DO sh*t to other people. It's not your choice that always inhibits blame. Clearly, you haven't accepted that. Sure, I can point at you, and say it was your fault you married a cheating d-bag. But I have more integrity than to assume that people aren't below doing some low @$$ sh*T like cheating, or leaving with no reason. I don't view the world from the POV of a victim. But, not to pull your halo down, perhaps it's time you looked in the mirror, and reflected on someone else's atrocious storied before you pass harsh judgement on others. Kharma is a hard thing to deal with.Now it's time to turn your own logic onto you. Refer to the bolded paragraph. Do you know why all these women filed for divorce? Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Statistics show that people who are looking for a lifepartner will 100% fail until they find someone they can be with for life... You have a thing for not refuting points, don't you? You just like puffing smoke in the air to cloud stuff up. I like that in a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Now it's time to turn your own logic onto you. Refer to the bolded paragraph. Do you know why all these women filed for divorce? Dude. Like, seriously. You should READ my posts before you reply. kthx. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Dude. Like, seriously. You should READ my posts before you reply. kthx.Girl friend, you should like seriously answer my posts directly. k thx bye! Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Girl friend, you should like seriously answer my posts directly. k thx bye! Ugh. You actually made me laugh at that. I was trying so hard to continue debating with you. Damnit! Link to post Share on other sites
sweetjasmine Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Like I said, I didn't say what caused it. I just said they are the first to walk away. No, they're the first to officially file. That doesn't necessarily mean they're the first to give up or walk away. You can give up, walk away, and check out of a marriage without filing for divorce. That's why your statistic doesn't say anything other than "women are more likely to file first." You haven't provided enough information to show that women are more likely to be the first to walk away or give up. Did I say men don't cheat, lie or become alcoholic? No. I never said that. No, you didn't say that. Did I claim or suggest that you said that? No. And yes, I think divorce laws are completely outdated. A friend of my fathers wife cheated on him, filed divorce due to loss of common interest, and ended up with the kids, the house, alimony, palimony, you name it. How is THAT fair? It isn't. And sometimes it screws over the other person. It's all a huge mess. If you ask me, though, child custody laws are the worst. Non-custodial parents get treated like garbage if they're men, even if they contribute more than the minimum and are never late with payments. It's insane. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 It's preposterous. Like I said, I always try to look at divorce diplomatically. I usually like to think both parties are guilty of something, but that's NOT always the case. And that goes for both sides. Palimony is just as bad. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetjasmine Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 It's preposterous. Like I said, I always try to look at divorce diplomatically. I usually like to think both parties are guilty of something, but that's NOT always the case. And that goes for both sides. Palimony is just as bad. I've always thought that while it takes two people to build a marriage, one of them can easily f--- it all up by themselves if they try hard enough. With the divorces I've seen among people I've known, I guess half of them have been both people messing it up and half of them have been one person wrecking it and the other person getting fed up. YMMV. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I've always thought that while it takes two people to build a marriage, one of them can easily f--- it all up by themselves if they try hard enough. With the divorces I've seen among people I've known, I guess half of them have been both people messing it up and half of them have been one person wrecking it and the other person getting fed up. YMMV. Agreed. Except nowadays, it seems it doesn't take too much of a screw up for people to be done with it, if you get me. Most people are ready and willing to wash their hands of it and not try. Link to post Share on other sites
adamt Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Also, the reason women inititate more breakups and divorces is not that they have more power, control or they give up more on love. It's because they are more AWARE of the state of the relationship and by the time the relationship has broken down, they've processed things much better. Why do a lot of women spot the signs but rarely nip them in the bud. Why do they sit on them and bottle things up until it is too late? Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Why do a lot of women spot the signs but rarely nip them in the bud. Why do they sit on them and bottle things up until it is too late?Two reasons: They expect their partner to read their minds ("If you loved me, you'd KNOW what was wrong!")They start the check-out process early and often have another fellow lined up before their current relationship is over. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Well, if you are happily married and have the opinions you do about women, then I do feel for your wife. Why don't we ask her if she's happy? And if being nice is my biggest fault in life, then I'll take that. Please spare me this whole nice guys are doormats and jerks get all the ladies BS. You probably read that from a dating guru web or something...Women DO NOT like or respect mysoginysts and ignorant people that spew ridiculous things about how MEN are victims of society. Just because I live in the 21st century , am educated and recognize the importance of equality , it doesn't make me a doormat. You can be confident, assertive and attarctive without being an ignorant jerk. If she is not happy she is free to leave and I will not stop her. If she wants to leave I will have the divorce papers for her to sign as soon as I can but she does not leave because I treat her well. You can be a nice guy all you want but one thing I know is not I have found the love that seems to elude so many men on here. Your ex an off to Africa and you are still pining after her while I sleep next to a beautiful woman tonight. You can bash me all you want but reality speaks for itself. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Let me guess, you consider yourself one of the "few real men left". Wow, classic. How is “empowered” bad in any way, for any gender? Love is not a zero sum game! There is the possibility that two empowered people can thrive together. As long as you keep looking at it from the point of view that “a stronger woman = a weaker man”, you'll never ever get the point of it all. Please, read some real books, educate yourself instead of regurgitating cliché’s like jerks get the girls, nice guys finish last. Nothing is ever that simple. I never said that stronger women equal weaker men. In face I don't consider these misandrists who chase after everything they claim to hate in men while spitting at the good ones to be strong women at all. These women who huff and puff about how strong and independent they are are usually a complete mess inside. The ones who really are strong live it without a need to shout it to the world. Link to post Share on other sites
SCooke Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 If she is not happy she is free to leave and I will not stop her. If she wants to leave I will have the divorce papers for her to sign as soon as I can but she does not leave because I treat her well. You can be a nice guy all you want but one thing I know is not I have found the love that seems to elude so many men on here. Your ex an off to Africa and you are still pining after her while I sleep next to a beautiful woman tonight. You can bash me all you want but reality speaks for itself. So if you are happily married, why are you browsing around the "Breakup" and "Second Chances " section? Especially, if you're feeling is that people that are suffering from heartbreak or torn up about a break up are "losers" and you are a "winner". What can you possible contribute by hanging around these boards if you have such a low opinion about the heartbroken? I suggest you leave these boards and go back to pleasing your beautiful wife, because nothing valuable will come out of you that can help any of us here. Peace bro! Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 So if you are happily married, why are you browsing around the "Breakup" and "Second Chances " section? Especially, if you're feeling is that people that are suffering from heartbreak or torn up about a break up are "losers" and you are a "winner". What can you possible contribute by hanging around these boards if you have such a low opinion about the heartbroken? I suggest you leave these boards and go back to pleasing your beautiful wife, because nothing valuable will come out of you that can help any of us here. Peace bro! I come here because I like to give advice to other men. I like to help other men in crisis and even though you may feel I am insulting you there is much you can learn from me? Link to post Share on other sites
PinkToes Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I come here because I like to give advice to other men. I like to help other men in crisis and even though you may feel I am insulting you there is much you can learn from me? Seriously dude, your "advice" might be better received if you were able to give it without bashing women in the process. Link to post Share on other sites
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