xkissesx Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 [font=times new roman][/font][color=red][/color] Ok, my ex Pat and i broke up about a month ago. It was very quick, and painless for him but it has taken me up until a week ago to get any type of closure on it. He cheated on me multiple times, thinking it was ok, and it wasnt. He doesnt want to be tied down at all right now and party hearty and sleep around( hes a college fresh) . So we broke up, and i had a very hard time because he was the first boyfriend ive actually liked enough to picture us together in a long term thing. So, he calls me the other day, out of the blue after not talking since the breakup or seeing eachother after all this time and we start talking and he wants to have a hook up relationship. Purely physical, freinds wiht benefits type thing, becasue its no denying we are both so attracted to eachohter. What do you think? I can either say sorry, you were an ass and missed your chance with me! or we can talk abd hook up on occasion. But i dont want to fall for him again, and i dont want him thinking he has me again. If we ended up being "fwb" i would probably be with other guys too, and be on the constant search for a boyfreind. Does anyone have experience wqith somthing similar? PLease give me some insight, guys too- what do u think? Link to post Share on other sites
sunnie23 Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 i say cut your losses and move on. there are too many men in this world to sit around wondering about one's who didn't treat you right. the thing with being friends with benefits is that feelings always get involved, and someone always gets hurt. beacuse you seemed more attached in the relationship, i'd say you'd be the one who'd end up heart broken. i know it's difficult to cut ties with someone you care for, but in the long run it's what's best for you. good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
PurpleAngel Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 he wants to have a hook up relationship. Purely physical, freinds wiht benefits type thing, becasue its no denying we are both so attracted to eachohter. What do you think? Oh Please... self respect girl! Doesn’t matter how attracted you are to someone, doesn’t mean you have to sleep with everyone you find to be a hunk! God only knows some of us would be busy people, not to mention tired PLUS finding someone attractive is more than a physical thing, how can you be attracted to someone who cheated on you??? Personally I wouldn’t even be giving him the time of day. I can either say sorry, you were an ass and missed your chance with me! AMEN! That’s the best thing you’ve said all post!!! or we can talk abd hook up on occasion. NO WAY.. what for, are your physical urges that strong that you have to go get it on with some looser that does not respect you??? That’s no friend of mine! But i dont want to fall for him again, and i dont want him thinking he has me again. HE will think he has you again, cos he does if you do this... And you will fall for him again. Having physical relations with people always concrete’s a bond, and for woman it is much more easily formed, as we are more emotional creatures. We do physical things for more of an affection thing rather than men who act on a more physical sense. Yes this is a general rule but for the majority of us is true. So you will get attached, especially if you have cared for him in the past and he has hurt you. If we ended up being "fwb" i would probably be with other guys too, and be on the constant search for a boyfreind. No I don’t think you would see other guys, I think you would be trying to be devoted to this person who cheated on you. PLease give me some insight, guys too- what do u think? We always talk about people wanting to have their cake and eat it too, but if people stopped giving into these silly wishes, they wouldn’t do it. SO if you want to give him what he wants after he has treated you with a huge amount of disrespect by cheating on you, go ahead. BUT I would be putting my own self-respect and self worth first. You can’t expect people to treat you with respect if you can’t give yourself any. If I where you I would STREAR CLEAR!!! What type of friend is he anyway asking you to be a ‘Friend with Benefits’??? Think of it this way, what will you possibly achieve doing this with him??? Waist your time being a great person, who looks after herself and doesn’t let people take her for a ride. Meet different people and you will see, soon enough you will meet someone wonderful who will care for you, respect you and want to have a physical relationship based on love and commitment. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel23 Posted November 20, 2003 Share Posted November 20, 2003 If you respect yourself and you want to have the opportunity to meet someone who you actually could have a very strong emotional/spiritual connection with, then you need to just forget about him and move on. If you were fwb, there is a 99.9% (in my book) that you're gonna have feelings for him and you're gonna find yourself being jealous, confused, and angry a lot of the time. If you want to have a fwb type relationship with someone, do it with someone you don't have feelings for. Link to post Share on other sites
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