J.J. Posted May 29, 2000 Share Posted May 29, 2000 is it just me or is it true? it all started when my g/f got home late from work. it takes her about 30 to fourty minutes to get home depending on the traffic. before she got home i called her work and they told me she left at 6:15,which is a hour later than usuall b/c she had a meeting. she didnt get home until 8:30 almost 9:00pm. i asked her what time she left and she told me at about 7:30. i told her i called to see what time she left and that her work told me a different time. she tells me that they dont know what they are talking about and that they dont pay attiention or something like that. this has happened more than once. she dosent seem like the type to cheat. i know she loves me, so am i just being paranoid? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 29, 2000 Share Posted May 29, 2000 You are just being paranoid. However, the absense of trust in your relationship is a RED FLAG. If you don't trust your girlfriend, do her a favor and let her go. She doesn't deserve a lifetime of someone being down her back. Often I call workplaces and ask about people and are told they are not there. Then they call me in ten minutes to tell me a co-worker passed them in the hall and said I had called. Other times, I call and am told that someone left 15 minutes ago...then they say, hold on...she just walked in. There are some very mean people in workplaces that will just give false information for the hell of it. Most employers really dislike employees receiving personal calls at work. Phone information about the presence or absense of an employee is often inaccurate. If you want to cut to the quick, hire a private investigator. For my money, I'll break up with someone and move on before I would go that far. This trust issue....ADDRESS IT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!! It will be impossible to continue a loving relationship without it. Link to post Share on other sites
James Posted May 29, 2000 Share Posted May 29, 2000 Don't be paranoid about it! Talk to her it's that easy. Good luck is it just me or is it true? it all started when my g/f got home late from work. it takes her about 30 to fourty minutes to get home depending on the traffic. before she got home i called her work and they told me she left at 6:15,which is a hour later than usuall b/c she had a meeting. she didnt get home until 8:30 almost 9:00pm. i asked her what time she left and she told me at about 7:30. i told her i called to see what time she left and that her work told me a different time. she tells me that they dont know what they are talking about and that they dont pay attiention or something like that. this has happened more than once. she dosent seem like the type to cheat. i know she loves me, so am i just being paranoid? Link to post Share on other sites
Ajay Posted May 29, 2000 Share Posted May 29, 2000 J.J.: I agree with Tony and James, and here's more... I worked for a huge company for years and can remember when I had a similar situation (in reverse) -- not getting calls or messages (the caller being told I wasn't there and, in one instance that I didn't work there anymore, etc.) One night, my honey came to pick me up from work and ended up waiting in the parking lot for over an hour because no one told me he called and said he was downstairs; I was waiting in the office (he was told I already left); trouble ensued, but we straightened it out eventually. He thought I left work and came back later; I thought he didn't come to pick me up... Another time, (and this went on for months) my honey started being "unavailable" at work (even "off" one day when I called), seemed to be "working late" more often, and we starting coming up short each month financially (but not spending extra $ for anything in particular), etc. Well, I started getting suspicious and finally grilled him about it; and, guess what? He was planning a HUGE surprise for me. It took time for him to arrange it, and he was taking money out in small amounts - hoping I wouldn't notice. The suprise was wonderful, but I nearly ruined everything with my lack of trust... I was sure he was cheating on me and was even thinking about calling it quits. You say you know she loves you. How do you know? Are you being paranoid? Yes, if you feel you need to check up on her, call her work to verify her story, question her answers, you get the idea. Talk, talk, talk. If she continues to be evasive and you're not comfortable with her explanation (as in you think she is lying to you), get out! You wrote this has happened before; keep lettin' it slide, and I guarantee it will continue to happen. Let her know what you think and why her behavior is not acceptable. You say you love this girl, but where is the trust? No trust, no love, no way... Question: What does the "the type to cheat" seem like to you? I didn't realize this was an identifiable trait... is it just me or is it true? it all started when my g/f got home late from work. it takes her about 30 to fourty minutes to get home depending on the traffic. before she got home i called her work and they told me she left at 6:15,which is a hour later than usuall b/c she had a meeting. she didnt get home until 8:30 almost 9:00pm. i asked her what time she left and she told me at about 7:30. i told her i called to see what time she left and that her work told me a different time. she tells me that they dont know what they are talking about and that they dont pay attiention or something like that. this has happened more than once. she dosent seem like the type to cheat. i know she loves me, so am i just being paranoid? Link to post Share on other sites
CHER Posted May 30, 2000 Share Posted May 30, 2000 Why are you calling her work? Is her coming home late her only offense? Have you been faithful yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 30, 2000 Share Posted May 30, 2000 Many, many people call their mates at work close to quitting time to make dinner plans and briefly discuss other events scheduled for evening. This is not unusual at all. If it is a fact that she has actually left work and does not get home for more than two hours, a normally half hour trip, without explanation...then there is a problem. If all is well, this guy doesn't trust his girlfriend. Your questions are valid and I will leave it to him to answer them. I just wanted to make the above comments. Link to post Share on other sites
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