Been with my boyfriend 2 years, and this guy won't leave me alone!

[Tonysweetie]

Hi, I've got a complicated situation. I've been with the love of my life for 2 years and 1 week. He's 20 and I'm 19. I know he's the guy I'm going to marry. Well anyways...There is this guy he's 23 and he's my older brothers best friend. I've been friends with him since I was 14 or 15 years old. We kinda liked each other back in the day when he was 20 and I was 16. Well we kinda lost touch over the years and all of sudden he comes back in my life. Every Wednesday night I see him at school (I go to college at night and so does he) and we always talk and catch up on what happened within the past week, you know just friend stuff. Well all of a sudden he thinks its more than just "friendship talk" and he tells me all the time, "I am his angel" and "he loves me" etc. etc. etc. He talks about how we coule be great togther and if he was my bf we would have already proposed to to me b/c I'm such an angel and wouldn't want me to get away. Well I've told him numbers of times that I don't have intentions of being more than just a friend with him b/c I am in love with my bf. Yes, I have been waiting for my bf to propose for a while and I know he has my engagement ring just hasn't proposed yet, but we won't get married for at least another year. But this guy thinks that he's wishy washy with our relationship b/c he won't propose or marry me right now. I'm like well its b/c were still young and trying to finish school! He doens' t quite understand it. I don't get it? Why does he try to hang on to me when we've never dated b4 and he knows I love my bf and have intentions on marrying him soon and I don't tell him I love him back or anything? I don't understand. I don't want to stop being friends with him but he won't stop. I've tried many times telling him that its not him and he and I can't happen b/c of I love my bf and were gonna be together for the rest of our lives. I think he thinks that if he keeps "telling me what I want to hear" that I'll break it off with my bf and be his forever. But no its not gonna happen like that! Ugh! I'm just so freaking frustrated. I enjoy talking with him and hanging out with him b4 class on Wed. nights but nothing more! He talks all the time about taking me out sometime or coming over, why doens't he just leave this situation alone and see that I'm happy! What do I do??? Thanks for reading this long! God Bless

[Arabess]

I think if he's being that disrespective of your feelings and wishes.....he's not much of a friend to lose. He has no business second guessing the motives of your current boyfriend or at what phase your relationship is at. If you really love your boyfriend, and it sounds like you do.....protect your relationship by making the correct choice in chosing your relationship OVER the friendship of another guy. I think this guy is WAY out of line.

 

Maybe you could discuss this with your brother to see if he will talk to him. If that doesn't work, you'll need to get REAL FIRM here. Tell him you will NOT continue to speak to him unless he quits his effort in undermining your relationship.

 

PS: Or maybe tell him if he wasn't so PUSHY...he would have a girlfriend of his OWN!

[moimeme]

You see the other side of this situation in many posts here; people who cannot get it into their heads that the person of their dreams is NOT interested. You are going to have to back up your words with action. Yes, it is too bad that you lose a friend, but you have to stop seeing him as a friend, as well. He won't get the idea. He thinks that you wanting to see him means you care more than you do so you have to cut him off completely. People that are this deluded about others' feelings for them need strong action to show them how wrong they are.

[tonysweeite]

Thanks so much for both of your replies. I guess wed. night I'll have to tell him that if he doesn't stop we can't continue to see each other and be friends. It just sucks that some people have to be like this b/c he really is a great person and a true friend but just so darn pushy! I know I wish he would get his own girlfriend or even better get married! *lol* Ohwell, thanks very much for your inputs! God Bless!!!!!

[HokeyReligions]

Ditto Arabess & Moimeme.

 

You keep saying he's a "true friend" No he isn't. If he were a true friend he would not be doing this to you.