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Moron Looking for help!


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Hello all. Im new at this so it is my first post. I dated a girl for about a year and a half and we never got along, mostly because we argued and also, i was an idiot and took things for granted. So we stopped seeing each other and didnt really talk for about 2 years until i figured i would drop her a line to appologize and make things right. She was surprised that i was talking to her and we set up a time to meet up and hang out. Well we did and things were awesome! we talked for a while and i drove her back to her place but before we got there i gave her flowers and again she was surprised. they were to say im sorry for everything i had done in the past. so anyhow when we got to her place she kissed me and it felt soo good! we started to talk for a bit and she is "dating" people right now which is fine but also said she is not ready to go out with me. first question would be what does that mean. In the words of Jim Carry is it "so your saying i have a chance?" I have really changed over the past 2 years all around and i keep trying to tell her that but she is kind of not sure, which i expected. i love this girl and always have and would like things to work out. Any one have any suggestions?

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Give her time and space. That will be hard for you, because you've been there for the 2 years of changing and know what you've been through and how much you have changed. She doesn't yet. All she's got are a couple of converstaions and some flowers. Honey, that's not much to go on if you've been hurt.

 

The best thing you can do is be truthful to her and give her the time necessary to see the "new and improved" version of you. If she has questions, answer them honestly. If she has requests (i.e. no committment for a while) try to grant them. If she asks too much of you, let her know and then decide what's important to you.

 

Time + Honesty = Best Outcome

 

Maybe you won't get back together... you need to be prepared for that possibility. But good luck with it anyway. It sounds like you really love this girl. Give it your best shot! Maybe she'll see that you're worth trying again.

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Well said laylia2! Some great advice there... time and honesty!

 

By her comment that she is not ready to go out with you yet, she is probably saying that she wants to see how things between you to pan out... is this ‘new man’ to last a few weeks or always???

 

She probably doesn’t want to go back to the way it was but obviously feels for you so she wants to give you both an opportunity to get to know each other again and see if things can be better.

 

Lots of things change in a person in 2 years, and there is lots of catching up to do, so take it one day at a time. Enjoy all the moments you are with her… don’t rush it, cos I think this is the worst thing you can be doing at the moment. Just concentrate on getting to know each other well, so that you can make a decision about your future tomorrow. There is nothing worse than getting back together with an ex, and then realising you have both grown in different directions and/or nothing has changed and the same issues exist.

 

Even if there is love there, you have to make sure you are both on the same page and are prepared to read that book together!

 

Rome wasn’t built in a day!!!

:bunny:

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