georgeD Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 To make a long story short (pretty sure this is one of the oldest stories in the book): (1) a year ago, I met this girl... she's cute, outgoing, really nice. (2) then not too long later (a couple weeks) I found out she had a boyfriend and had for a long time. I've met him--and while I hate to say it, he's really, really cool; she deserves him. (3) I decided to be friends with her. Just friends. And we became pretty good friends at that. That being said, she'd do things that I could easily misconstrue. I'd see pictures of her hanging on me on facebook. We talk to each other a lot while drunk. Often these convos would end in arguments. I'm sure she doesn't realize why, but its usually because she does things like ask if I think she's unattractive, etc. I freak out and usually end up just lying and saying the negative thing, because I try to suppress my feelings. (4) that more or less worked for a while. but then she and some friends asked me about my relationship past. I got really embarrassed and told her about my only relationship. It was a few years ago, it only lasted a few weeks, and I wasn't attracted to the girl. She understood (I think) why I was embarrassed (more that I went out with someone I wasn't attracted to than anything). Anyhow, I feel like such a d*ck for this, but I was also kind of embarrassed that the girl was unattractive (overweight). Which isn't really fair to that girl. At first, I felt good, hoping that I could with that be completely content that I killed anything that could ever happen between us and move on. (5) that didn't happen. now I just like her more and can't stop thinking of her. and I doubt she'd be interested even if she broke up with her bf. and even if she would, I wouldn't want to wish for that; as far as I can tell they are perfect for each other. but this is making me miserable and I just don't know what to do. I like her as a friend a lot but this is just killing me inside. And I'll never be able to avoid her completely since she's a part of my group of friends! Please help! I just want to somehow be not attracted to her so I can just be a totally content friend--because she's the best friend I could ask for. I feel like a huge jerk for letting this happen! P.S. We're seniors in college. Link to post Share on other sites
jenfrizt Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 wew that's a hard one ^^.. i happened to me a lot of time hahaha.. but really if you don't want to end your friendship then you have to accept the truth.. you can't just ignore her she's your friend after all but try not to see her often.. its hard to deal with it ..it does hurt inside it really do.. if you want her then wait but its not a very good idea through its gonna hurt you more.. try not to get attach that much to her.. dont ask too many question related to her life or personal life which could hurt you.. better not to know so you wont get hurt in the end.. like what they say "there are many fish in the ocean".. so go get those fish hahaha.. try other girls .. dont take it too seriously Link to post Share on other sites
whiteberry Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 It's very hard to keep your feelings inside. But I think that's the best thing you can do for now. When you decide to take action, you should know that with it comes the risk of losing everything. You risk your friendship, and it can never go back to the way it is. You might think it's okay if you can't have her as someone special, you're perfectly happy going back to being best friends, but that's not the way it'll happen. If she says no, if she's shocked, anything, your closeness is, for the most part, gone. Link to post Share on other sites
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