Conflicted Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 My gf and I have been together for three years and have lived together most of that time. She has not been happy with this relationship for a long time and has finally decided that she wants to move out this weekend. I, too, have been unhappy for a while and while part of me looks forward to dating new people (I have one person in mind already) and doing things I haven't been able to do in a long time. But then I look at her picture and think about all the good times and I feel horrible and get a really bad sinking feeling. I love her so much, but I know that we're just not compatible. The days are ticking down now, and I am dreading this weekend. What's wrong with me? Why am I so conflicted? How can I come to grips and make peace with this so I don't have a total breakdown on Saturday? Link to post Share on other sites
BklynGuy Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 Nothing is wrong with you. A part of you wants out and a part of you wants to stay. This is a normal feeling. My ex of 4 1/2 yrs. broke up w/me last summer. It's funny, but the day before it happened I had a dreadful feeling about seeing her. Sometimes, we know deep down inside when it's time for things to end. I had been having a bad feeling about the relationship for a while, but kept sticking my head in the sand. I saw it coming but lied to myself and lived in denial. I was shocked when it happened, but now am not surprised. Just face it and move past it. You will hurt like hell but eventually recover. It's natural. Just go with the flow. Link to post Share on other sites
PurpleAngel Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 Breaking up is never easy, especially if you love someone you can’t make it work with. Just know that it happens to the best of us… its normal that you are conflicted. Its important for your healing process that you acknowledge the good and the bad times of the relationship, but deep down know that she is not the one for you. Yes, it will be hard but if you keep thinking of the REALITY of the situation, you will accept it sooner than you think. Reality and logic are great things at this time, its when we start romanticising and fantasising about something that is clearly over, that’s when it gets hard to deal with. So stay in the reality of the moment. Know that it is ok to love her, you don’t have to stop loving her but you don’t have to stay with her just because of that either. Love is a major part of a great relationship, but there are so many other aspects that make a situation work… love is not enough. Keep smiling! Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 The loss of a relationship is much like a death. You are losing an important part of your life. It hurts and leaves voids...... I agree with the posts on here though. You've made the right decision and will live thru the bad feelings in anticipation of the new feelings in your future. Again....it's better to have a painful end.....than an endless pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Conflicted Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 Thanks to everyone for your replies. I am feeling better about what is to come. I just hope I can hold it together. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 why don't you make elaborate plans for saturday so that you stay busy and have no time to walk around the emplied place with sadness... -yes Link to post Share on other sites
trying Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 if you are not compatible, it is truly for the best it's okay to feel sad...it's okay to feel whatever you are feeling Link to post Share on other sites
Conflicted Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 Thanks for the additional advice. Yesterday, my gf was kinda melancholy about the whole thing, but today she tells me she's excited about moving out. That should make me feel relieved since one of my biggest worries was about how she was going to handle it, but now I feel even sadder. Link to post Share on other sites
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