Does it consider a cheating? How can I handle this?

[gwynieatpain]

I've been dating this guy on and off for more than 1 year now. Splitted twice. The main reason I called it quitted was that we couldn't (or we haven't tried to) define our relationship. I can't even consider him a bf/ an ex after a year seeing/ breaking up twice with each other. I told him I couldn't find the closeness between us. There was no exclusive talk at all. I didn't know what he thought about me.

 

The other reason was that I was still upset over my ex of 5 yrs at that time and felt like I had to take a break from dating. I felt sorry for what I did to him. So after the second split I stopped talking to him (I don't believe that be friends with him would make him better) and hoped that he can moved on from it.

 

After almost 5 months of NC, which was two months ago, I got his msg out of the blue and he invited me to hang out. I was a bit surprise but was happy to hearing from him again. We started going out for dinner and movies after work. We both felt the spark again, yet I'm hestiate because I don't want to make the damage again. At the same time I was worrying - why he comes back the 3rd time? What does he want from me? and if this time we are not going to make thing seriously we shouldn't give it a go again. I talked to him one night and expressed my concern. The conversation ended roughly so things were still unclear.

 

Today when he was napping his phone was unattended, I checked his phone and found lots of msg from two girls. I know I know. I'm so wrong for checking up someone's phone. Trust me I don't do this normally. This is the first time in my life to check someone's phone. And I was right, the messages have proven that I was not exclusive. I don't know if it is considered to be cheating. I didn't have tears in my eyes. But the feeling was so bad that I want out quickily. After checking I woke him up and said I wanted to go home. We had dinner plan together originally so my early leaving had surprised him. I didn't confront to him. I just left. Coz I want to think clearly before I actually make a move.

 

Part of me want to initate a talk just to have a closure. But then I don't want to end up having a fight with him, coz, whatever he says right now, they all sounds like lies and excuses to me.

 

Can anyone tells me how to handle this? I'm so confused and upset.

[Javelin]

Can anyone tells me how to handle this? I'm so confused and upset.

 

He's not ready to commit and with that, I wouldn't waste my time on him. It'll probably be in your best interest to ditch him as a friend too considering your history.

 

On that note, find someone that will give you the same spark, commit, and make you happy. Trust me, he's out there.

[gwynieatpain]

He's not ready to commit and with that, I wouldn't waste my time on him. It'll probably be in your best interest to ditch him as a friend too considering your history.

 

On that note, find someone that will give you the same spark, commit, and make you happy. Trust me, he's out there.

 

I know exactly what you mean.

 

Yesterday I confronted with him and he went he was not ready to treat me wholeheartly since I left him two times and didn't know when I would leave again. I told him I was sorry for what I caused you but it didn't give you the right to mess me up this time. If he assumed that I'm being random all the time why he came back in the first place?

 

I'm so torn now.