Dina2208 Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 Me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 months exactly! We are so happy together, I love him so much, we've connected so fast, that we can see spending the rest of our lives together. I got out of a 4 year relationship to be with my boyfriend now and my life has just been so much better since i met him. However, we do see eachother every single day, pretty much. We've never actually had space apart, maybe the only time is when im in school, hes younger then me as well, hes in highschool and im going into my last year of college, hes going into grade 12. But he is pretty mature for his age, compared to most 17 year olds. No one found this akward, which made me feel more comfortable and happy. But my problem that I seem to have is that, I dont know how to let go. Im always paranoid that when hes not with me, hes doing something that I wouldnt like, when deep down i truly know hes faithful and that he only loves me, and will never cheat on me. I get jealous if he encounters girls, because i always take them as a threat, its like i dont want him even being exposed to them. Its so werid. I text him alot whens out and about, asking what hes doing. Worrying too much if something is going to happpen. In about a weeks time, hes going to be going to one of his old friends birthday parties, and he said he will be drinking, but not getting hammered, considering that his friends mom will be there, and he said theres a good possibility that there will be girls there. And he said im going even if you can go, and I want to give him the freedom to go because its his right, just I had a sick stomach feeling when he said there might be girls there and obviously some drinking will be done. We always get into arugments, and its because I always box him in and I dont let him just live life and experience the teenaged life. I really need help with this because last night we had the biggest fight ever, and I;m so willing to change, and he is too ( he has personal issues as well) But I really need help with this because its not fair for the both us, I need to stop being so paranoid and to just let go, can anyone please help me and give me some advice, thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Louise02 Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 It seems to be that you are investing a bit too much of your time in this guy. He sounds lovely and that you guys are clicking really well but instead on focussing on him so much, what about you? What part of you are you keeping for yourself? When you invest too much time and emotion into someone, it can end up being a massive strain on your relationship because you constantly want to be with the other person. This can mean that you are restricting the other person from living their life which is not good. My suggestion - slowly wean yourself off him a bit. You've said that there is no real reason to suggest he's been unfaithful so the problem lies with you in that you need to stop relying on him so much to be your sole concern. Fill your life with other things: hobbies, sport, volunteering etc. By focussing a little bit more on yourself and not relying on him to be what makes you happy, you will have a much healthier relationship. It's hard, I know, as you are SO into him but as much as you are together with someone, you need a life of your own, too. Just my two cents! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dina2208 Posted August 23, 2009 Author Share Posted August 23, 2009 Thanks Louise! Yes, I totally agree with you. We have both agreed that we should start hanging out with our friends more or doing other things, but not with each other. Tomorrow night, I'm going to dinner party to see some of my friends from college, so i should be really fun, and he will most likely be making plans to hang out with some of his buddies. I really want to just let go and make myself happy too. I'm, going back to school very soon, so my life will be taken up by the amount of homework I will have from school, and I will see less of him because I go to school in Toronto, and I commute back and forth everyday. We also work at the same place, but right now we are applying to other places, because now we have finially realized that working at the same place isn't good! Thanks so much for your help Link to post Share on other sites
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