asking a friend re: possible social disorder

[yes]

i think i may have a social disorder - i mean, i'm sure i do, because i've been having trouble forming and handling friendships and relationships my whole life, and it's been causing me tons of stress.

 

so what i'd like to do is to ask a friend of mine (not a close friend, just somebody i talk to now and then, and i know he'll likely be honest) about my attitude/behaviour in social situations (because i can't see myself, it's hard to tell what I do wrong, and i must be doing SMTH wrong).

 

my question is ... it'd probably be too hard to him to just describe my attitude/behaviour, right? should i ask him some specific qns? like what? or is this a silly idea altogether? he may think me odd, but he knows i'm odd, so it can't do much harm, heheh.

 

thanks,

-yes

[moimeme]

Here's a link to some excellent information about the various disorders there are. You could get your friend to review the symptoms and see if he might think some apply to you. Of course, only a professional could truly diagnose you but it might give you an idea of how you're perceived.

 

http://mentalhelp.net/poc/center_index.php?id=8

 

Scroll down - on the right-hand side is a list of disorders and their symptoms and treatment.

[yes]

these are awesome summaries of the disorders! it's quite easy to diagnose oneself - i clearly have 'avoidant p. d.' and some 'dependent p.d.' and some 'borderline p.d.'. i think i'm going to print these out as well, check off what i think applies to me, and take it to my counsellor...

 

thanks,

-yes

[mattdad]

Please be careful when self-diagnosing! It's often very easy to see ourselves in these descriptions (or convince ourselves that this is what we are). Sort of like the horrorscope or fortune cookies, we can mold our lives or self-beliefs to match what we read.

Please consider letting a certified counselor make these determinations for you! They are always more objective than ourselves!

[yes]

thanks for the warning!!

 

i actually ended up asking a friend, and she did an awesome job of helping me. i can see what kind of impression i make now, and why it's hard for people to become close with me. i'm so thankful to her - now i can work on my external attitude being more representative of how i feel inside - it's kind of hard to find a balance between almost fully closed up and too open, when you're just learning to do this.

 

-yes

[Sunrain]

Sounds like maybe you could use some assertiveness training from what you said in your last post. Most counselors can help with that but there are also books on becoming more assertive. One good one is called: Your Perfect Right (as in you having rights to your feelings and expressing them). It's an excellent book. I agree to try not to label yourself. There is a saying called "labels are limiting." We could all have ten diagnosis by 10 psychiatrists and they only use their judgements to be able to treat and bill insurance not to put you in a cubby hole. After being labeled several things I decided those things are not who I am, I am just me. So, when I do self-help on myself I just do what you are doing. Find out what problem I'm having and find a way to work on it--I love the book way--I feel I've accomplished something. Best wishes with it.

[yes]

i'll look for that book. assertiveness in terms of feelings is a new concept to me - i think i'm assertive enough in terms of my opinions, but it's a good point that it's OK to feel and express it. although it goes back to the question of whether or not one control one's feelings. because if they're controlled, it's reasonable to wish not to feel a certain way ... i dunna.

 

-yes