ex wants single and best friendship...

[KgSolomon1]

Hey, my gf broke up with me yesturday, and her reasoning i guess was that she luvs being single and that we fihgt a little more than we used to and that she gets bored easily and she wants to have fun this ummer. And she changes her mind so much, even last night when we talked afterwards she says things like so nice and she crys about me stil and it hrts so much and i love hr but she wants to be suingle more than me but she said she could never lose me and that she wouldnt kow what to do if i said ##### you and left cause she said she needs my friendship and im trying to give it to her but it hurts so much and i need her more than a frined and i donno what to do or what to say...i wrote her this emial...tell me what to o if u can...

 

Well, I know how you like or liked getting email when you got home from school so here ya go hehe. But yeah, that's not really why I'm typing to you but oh well. Anyway I'm at home right now, this morning I took off my shirt and I got this smell of you and I started ball out crying so I made my mom let me stay home. I'm supposed to go back this afternoon but I can't. It was never this hard, my heart never hurt this much, I cant believe...I donno, its weird in a bad way but yeah. I really cant think of anything, I cant even ##### sleep. I tried to get a couple hours like you said, but I really couldnt,,,no matter how hard I try I can't do anything but think of you or cry. This never happened before and I don't know why its so much harder this time and now I know it isn't me cause I'm doing everything I can to make it hurt less, except totally ignore you cause no matter how much it made my heart feel better I couldn't ever do that to you or to me and I couldn't stand knowing the one person I love I cant ever see or talk with ever again. I donno how Dave does it with Becky but I don't want that to happen to us. I just keep thinking about Ryan's house and how I wish I had asked for forgiveness cause I really do. Please forgive me for whatever I've done and whatever bad feelings I've given you, you don't know how much I like you and how much I need you, and I wish I could be different be the special guy who could be your friend and not want anything more but I cant! I ##### cant Jaime and its tearing me up inside thinking about it. I need your touch and knowing I can kiss you and knowing that your mine and that your my baby but that I can hold my baby and kiss my baby and know that my baby will be with me and will be with me. And about the summer I don't care if you go to summerfest and meet guys and get numbers, you can do all that, I really don't care, as long as I know your going to be coming home in my car. That's all I care about, is that after everything you come to my car at the end. I can go with friends and have fun, but I need to know that you'll be coming to my car afterwards. I like you so much and I know I've been seeming not so much but that's cause I was trying to keep it form you and so that I donno, I kinda did it purposely and I did yet another mistake. But please Jaime, I know you told me not to beg or t grovel or however u spell it but I am. I'm ##### n my knees begging for you, I don't have 12 dozen flowers and I don't have a perfect speech with the correct pauses and times to cry, cause id cry the whole ##### time but I need you and IM begging for you to be with me more than a friend and to be my gf Jaime. I like you so much, will you please be my gf again? God, there's so much my heart is screaming at me and telling me to say I cant even hear it anymore. It hurts so much and I cant type worth #####, I hope I don't short circuit the keyboard by getting it too wet, that would suck. Just like this does. I know you love being single, and I know you don't want commitment and you want to be able to go to west bend and to summerfest and stuff without me, and I don't care about that, I didn't care about you going to the carnival and stuff, the only thing that I cared about that was that I thought I was going and I couldn't, I wouldn't have cared if you got 20 numbers and #####, as long as I knew and could have made plans so I wouldn't be thinking of you the whole time even though I do anyway and it makes me cry how uh I like you and need you and I prayed so hard and I still pray to god to show me a way, cause I had a dream last night and your parents were talking to me in the car and I was talking to your mom and I was like what did Udo to get back with you and to show how much he liked you and to get you back with him and I just donno, I saw 2 doors infront of my car last night, u know how I went screaming off? That was after I parked infront of ur window a little. I got out and was driving forward, and I stopped in front of your window hoping you'd look out or something but u didn't and so I balled out cried and left feeling like you were making me leave forever and just throwing my heart in the corner and not thinking about it. Please, I don't have a wall or a shell to shield me from my feelings and be a great friend to you, you are my shield and you are my heart and you are my joy, and I need you Jaime. Please, and don't think but if I get with him now ill hurt him later, well I want you right now Jaime, I don't care if u do it again next time I mean I do but I need you now, please Jaime...I'm on my knees with my hand out, please take it and be my puppy again, please Jaime, be my gf again :"( Heh, i sent this to rebekah, u know, the one in florida? well anyway i sent this emial to her and to becky and stuff to see what they though and well becky had to go to exams so she couldnt read it but i donno, rebekah said that i should give you what you want to to be your best frined and to give you a shoulder to cry on and to be there for you and to show you that I am there for you cause I am and that I want whats best for you and that I do love you and that I'd do anyhitng for you and if this is what you need right now this is what im oging to do I just wish it didnt hurt so much doing it and sacraficing what i want and my feelings but im doing it for you cause I love you and cause im too nice and cause i will do anyhitng for you. And maybe I'm being selfish asking for you back and hounding you and begging you and not letting you be happy and not ltteing you have what you want, so Im going to be here no matter what and im gonna be here for you to talk to about anyhutng and to cry on and u dont have to feel dumb or like a pussy anymore but im never gonna give up, im doing this for you but hopefully in time youll do the same for me i guess. Im not expecting it, but im hoping and praying and just that youll come back in my life as a gf and as more than a friend because im really lonly inside without you, not in the way of firneds or anyhing, but deeply inside of me im lonrly without you and no one can fill that space...i need you jaime, u donno how much i wanna say ill be best frineds with you and wont feel anything more and that a lot of stuff that you want and that u might need rihgt now, but i need you and i need you to be my gf...but lets talk about this tonight, i have osccer from 5:30 till 8, so ill be home from 3:30 till 5 and 8:30 till whenever i try to go to bed, so ill ttythen.

 

Your Baby forever...

 

Danny Boy

 

any advice?

[Tony T]

My first advice is make your Emails shorter.

 

Second, your girlfriend is extremely confused, immature and not ready for a committed relationship with you. Since you are not prepared to be only a friend to her, you must proceed on with your life and hook up with a lady who wants the same things you do.

 

Thirdly, the relationship with you may have become stale for this girl because you present absolutely no challenge. You make no bones that you are absolutely madly in love with her. Younger ladies enjoy a man who is unpredictable...who is a challenge...someone who keeps them guessing and on their toes. That's what makes the sparks fly.

 

If you want to drive her nuts, don't call her for a while and stop Emailing her. Don't return all her calls. Be a bit aloof. If you can pull it off, you will have her eating out of your hands. She just wants someone that's not up her butt constantly. She wants a MAN!!!

 

And I will guarantee you something else. If you decided to BE her friend, when she found a MAN who did give her the challenge and interest she is looking for, she would pretty quickly forget about you.

 

So go do your thing.

[KgSolomon1]

Ok, good advice, But what exactly can/should I do? I mean should I send her the email? should i tell her how i feel or be kinda shady and i donno how to be so unpredictable and how to act. What do you mean? How do i make it challenging for her? Also, how do i get her back in the first place? Cause to do these things I ned to be her bf again, and how do I do that? or if i dont, how do i do it while being her frined and stuff? cause that hrt when u said shell find someone else and forget about u, so hepl me notlet that happen...what do I do?

My first advice is make your Emails shorter.

 

Second, your girlfriend is extremely confused, immature and not ready for a committed relationship with you. Since you are not prepared to be only a friend to her, you must proceed on with your life and hook up with a lady who wants the same things you do. Thirdly, the relationship with you may have become stale for this girl because you present absolutely no challenge. You make no bones that you are absolutely madly in love with her. Younger ladies enjoy a man who is unpredictable...who is a challenge...someone who keeps them guessing and on their toes. That's what makes the sparks fly. If you want to drive her nuts, don't call her for a while and stop Emailing her. Don't return all her calls. Be a bit aloof. If you can pull it off, you will have her eating out of your hands. She just wants someone that's not up her butt constantly. She wants a MAN!!! And I will guarantee you something else. If you decided to BE her friend, when she found a MAN who did give her the challenge and interest she is looking for, she would pretty quickly forget about you. So go do your thing.

[Tony T]

Unfortunately, I can't teach you life in this forum. But you don't need to be her boyfriend to STOP sending her Email, STOP calling her, STOP paying attention to her, and move on your way.

 

You absolutely must be intuitive and imaginative in life. If you cannot pull that off, you will lose.

 

Take every bit of the advice I gave you. Stop having contact with her. You don't need her as a platonic friend...that's NOT what you want.

 

If you have a desire to get back with her at some point, you better follow my advice. If you don't understand it, print it out and take it to an older and trusted friend, preferably a lady, and she'll give you precise instructions.

 

You have to be tough here. Love is NOT for the weak!!!

 

Good luck!!! My greatest wish is that you are happy and the only way that will happen is if you take complete control over your emotions and your life. Don't let others run it for you!!!

[Michael]

Listen to Tony, he is 100% right on the money. I have been in the same situation you are in, and have been in that situation several times. If you really want to see if there is any chance at all that you two will get back together as a couple, than LISTEN!! Rule #1 You absolutly HAVE to end all contact with her, Telephone, Email, letters, smoke signals, etc. I know how hard it is. I thought i was going to go crazy when i was there, but it is VERY important. Rule #2 Keep yourself occupied, if you have to wash your car 10 times a day or cut the grass everyday, go out with friends, get a new hobby (fishing is good), change your looks,(new hair cut, grow some facial hair, etc.). Rule #3 PLAY IT COOL, don't return her calls promptly. Let her come back to you. TRUST ME! If there is anything still there and if this chick wants to be with you, then IT WILL HAPPEN. You can NOT be JUST FRIENDS with her. If you do, it will pull her further and further away from you and you will end up loosing her forever. You don't want to do that do you? Don't let this chick drive you crazy, BE A MAN!!! Don't let her crush your heart like a tomato. If it was meant for you two to be together, then there will be no body or no thing in this galaxy that will prevent you two from being together. This is the best and only advise i can give you so take it to heart.

 

The best of luck to you in the future.

 

Michael

 

ps. try not to let your appitite disappear.

 

Unfortunately, I can't teach you life in this forum. But you don't need to be her boyfriend to STOP sending her Email, STOP calling her, STOP paying attention to her, and move on your way.

 

You absolutely must be intuitive and imaginative in life. If you cannot pull that off, you will lose. Take every bit of the advice I gave you. Stop having contact with her. You don't need her as a platonic friend...that's NOT what you want.

 

If you have a desire to get back with her at some point, you better follow my advice. If you don't understand it, print it out and take it to an older and trusted friend, preferably a lady, and she'll give you precise instructions.

 

You have to be tough here. Love is NOT for the weak!!! Good luck!!! My greatest wish is that you are happy and the only way that will happen is if you take complete control over your emotions and your life. Don't let others run it for you!!!

 

[KgSolomon1]

Alrighty, sounds good I guess, Ill try to handle it. I'm just wondering if I shouldnt try to get back with her and "make sparks fly". see if that will help. Or should i ignore her and wait for her to cxome to me? ok i get it. But when /if she comes back to me, how do i m ake it more of a challenge and more interesting and be less predictable?

Unfortunately, I can't teach you life in this forum. But you don't need to be her boyfriend to STOP sending her Email, STOP calling her, STOP paying attention to her, and move on your way.

 

You absolutely must be intuitive and imaginative in life. If you cannot pull that off, you will lose. Take every bit of the advice I gave you. Stop having contact with her. You don't need her as a platonic friend...that's NOT what you want.

 

If you have a desire to get back with her at some point, you better follow my advice. If you don't understand it, print it out and take it to an older and trusted friend, preferably a lady, and she'll give you precise instructions.

 

You have to be tough here. Love is NOT for the weak!!! Good luck!!! My greatest wish is that you are happy and the only way that will happen is if you take complete control over your emotions and your life. Don't let others run it for you!!!

 

[michael]

You want to make it more of a challenge? Ill tell you how, DON'T KISS HER ASS ALL THE TIME!!! How would you like it if some girl kissed your ass all the time? You would get tired of it after a while wouldn't you.....

Alrighty, sounds good I guess, Ill try to handle it. I'm just wondering if I shouldnt try to get back with her and "make sparks fly". see if that will help. Or should i ignore her and wait for her to cxome to me? ok i get it. But when /if she comes back to me, how do i m ake it more of a challenge and more interesting and be less predictable?

[Tony T]

You just don't seem to get it.

 

I hope many ladies will study your situation and give you hints from their viewpoint on what it takes to spark a lady's interest...and what things men do to turn them off.

 

Perhaps you should look for a lady who is far more mature than this girl, who can accept you exactly as you are without playing games. That's probably how it ought to be anyway.

 

But let me tell you straight away, there is NO PLAINER ENGLISH AND NOT A SIMPLER WAY I CAN TELL YOU THIS SO STOP ASKING...MOST LADIES DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN MEN CALL THEM PREDICTABLY (LOOK THE WORD UP IN THE DICTIONARY). THEY DON'T LIKE IT WHEN MEN ARE TOO NICE, ESPECIALLY IN THE BEGINNING OF A RELATIONSHIP. MOST PEOPLE, MEN AND WOMEN, WANT A CHALLENGE...THAT MEANS THEY DO NOT SEEM TO CARE FOR THAT WHICH IS READILY AVAILABLE TO THEM AND HAVE A GREATER DESIRE FOR THAT WHICH IS MORE DIFFICULT TO ATTAIN.

 

At some point in the life of a relationship, this does change...but initially, the sparks fly because of the uncertainty and the excitement of the unpredictability.

 

If you are not from America, I apologize. You might have someone in your country who is good at English to explain this concept to you. Thye concept pretty well applies to humans around the globe.

 

This is my last post to you on this subject. Hopefully there are many others, especially the ladies, who can give you clues as to what sorts of things men can do to get their interest.

[Lisa]

Ok King Solomon, Here's the deal: Whan a girl/woman says "I don't love you anymore/I don't want to see you anymore/I want to be single (or any variation on that theme)" THEY MEAN BUZZ OFF!!!!!!!!!

 

One guaranteed way of pissing her off is for you to call her, write her, email her, im her or talk to her, period!!

 

No one wants a pathetic, crying lover.If she wanted you right now, she would be with you right now. Obviously, that is not the case.

 

I don't know how to say it any clearer than this. Tony was right on the money with his advice, but you don't/can't see that.

 

Is density a male quality or something? I have met 4 guys lately, went out with each of them once, and told each one I have no desire to see them again. But none of them listened to me; they keep calling and im ing to the point I hate getting on the computer lately, I have to go on invisible!!!

 

Anyway, take it from me: LEAVE THIS GIRL ALONE. DO NOT TALK TO HER. DO NOT STALK HER. DO NOT DRIVE PAST HER HOUSE 73 TIMES A DAY. DO NOT EMAIL HER.

[magicklady]

I think everyone is being a bit hard on the guy... He seems nice and young.. we all have to learn the in's and out's of love. Not one of us automatically knew what to do the first couple of times we were hurt... You really do need to distance yourself from this girl and not accept her calls for a while. If she really ever cared for you and it is supposed to work out.. she will think you are seeing someone else and want to be with you again. Most women don't like to think someone else is with "Their Man". Tony is right about one thing most women don't want someone that is predictable. Go out and have a life and if it is meant to be it will and if it isn't while you are haging out with your buddies you might just meet someone new. I promise you that the hurt gets better the more you are away from the person you are in love with. She does not love you however, or she wouldn't treat you like that! Love isn't supposed to hurt.. ever! It is supposed to be a wonderful thing that makes you happy and if it doesn't..well it is time to move on. Good luck with it and I hope I have been able to help you some!

[Iyami]

Truly...vanish awhile, if you can stand it. As I said to someone else earlier, respect yourself, gather up that pride and find some way to occupy your time for a loooong time if necessary. Be the man she thinks she's looking for, one who has his own "thing" and doesn't smother her, or compromise himself. That email made ME feel claustrophobic, and I'm not your ex! And you knew it was a bit much, or you would not have asked, right?

 

Back off. Work on yourself for awhile. Do "feelgood" stuff to keep from losing your mind. But let HER do the work, this time. And if she doesn't...you know the old saying. If she's yours, she'll be back. If she's not...nothing you can do will matter. Sooner or later, she'll "escape." You love deeply and you deserve to be loved the same way in return. But it won't happen until you love yourself as much as you want to love someone else. Get that together, and you won't need a forum anymore!

 

Bless you, and good luck!

Ok, good advice, But what exactly can/should I do? I mean should I send her the email? should i tell her how i feel or be kinda shady and i donno how to be so unpredictable and how to act. What do you mean? How do i make it challenging for her? Also, how do i get her back in the first place? Cause to do these things I ned to be her bf again, and how do I do that? or if i dont, how do i do it while being her frined and stuff? cause that hrt when u said shell find someone else and forget about u, so hepl me notlet that happen...what do I do?