LDR-She broke up with me

[Jexranger]

Today I was meant to be seeing my long distance girlfriend for the second time we've been together for almost a year now, but yesterday her mother told her I was only allowed to stay until the Saturday because she had school Wednesday instead of the agreed Tuesday having already booked my ticket a month ago and her mother agreed to those set dates, I was sure I wouldn't be able to change it a day before the set dates, if I couldn't change it her mother said I couldn't go and I couldn't check because I was at work, also the ticket wasn't refundable, Whilst I was at work my girlfriend was begging her mother to let me go because I couldn't change the dates but she wasn't budging. I left off work early to check to see if I could change the dates, I phoned them up and they said I was able to change my return date so I said I'd call back, after hanging up about to text my girlfriend to tell her I could change them, she sent me a text saying that her and her mother had a massive argument and that she was grounded and I wouldn't be allowed to go even if I could change the date.

 

So I text her back saying I could change the dates, but her mother was still angry and wasn't letting me go, so my girlfriend and I started arguing and then I came up with the conclusion that her mother probably didn't like me and didn't want me seeing her daughter, she insisted that her mother did like me a lot, but I denied it, because I couldn't think of any other reason at the time because I was angry, and it just made things a lot worse.

 

Then she brought up a past argument about me asking questions when she goes to parties and stuff like "are there any guys?" "are you drinking?" after my last two girlfriends had cheated on me in the past (not LDR) I had trust issues I couldn't budge, but then I realized she wasn't those girls that had cheated on me she's a totally different person, she's amazing I've never met anyone that even comes close to her, and she makes me feel special. But trust is a big big big thing to her and she can't be in a relationship with someone that doesn't trust her, but I do trust her more then anyone.

 

We were getting on fine last night chatting then this morning, I apologized for being a total dick about it, but after talking to her friends she decided she didn't want to be together any more, and said she couldn't be with me any more because she feels I don't trust her.

 

She still says she loves me and she still sees me as her best friend, I just don't know what to do is there still hope?

[jumi]

sounds like the poor girl is just wicked stressed out and found this as her only escape route at the moment. the fact that she still wants to be really good friends with you means she still cares about you and doesn't want to lose you. my answer is yes, i think you two still have hope. just take this lull in the fighting (between you two and her and her mother) to calmly talk together about what happened, about how you two feel about each other (does she know/understand about your past relationships?) and I think you could work things out if you both want each other back.

[4givrnt4gtr]

Sounds like you guys are really really young...or she is really young...either way, it sounds like she's having a hard time dealing with the stress not only of the ldr but also of her mother AND THEN on top of all that she is allowing a third party to get in between u guys (her friend telling her she needs to let u go)

 

A few weeks ago i read a really good advice from someone here...dont recall who, but it went along the lines of "becareful who you allow into your relationship" I know this is probably better advice for her, since she is the one allowing someone's opinion decide the fate of your relationship but still.

 

In any case, let me ask you, what was the ultimate goal for this relationship? Were you guys gonna live close by at any point? Im asking because LDR are hard with a goal in mind, i cant imagine getting into one where there isnt. Also, the fact that whether you see each other or not is not really in your hands but on her mother's hands...Id say thats a huge problem.

 

Right now I think you should really take the time to analyze how doable a ldr is with this girl. I know you want her back, but is it logical? will both of you (not just you) be able to make it work? Why is she so defensive regarding trust?

 

If you come out with the decision that you do want her, and she decides (whcih she might given her rush decision) to come back, you guys need to really really force yourselves to act as maturely as possible and talk things out. Tell her why you're so afraid of her cheating, but also tell her (and do it!) that you will be working hard to give her your entire trust. On the same token she needs to be understanding and work with you to gain that trust.

 

Good luck. For now, sit tight, let her think and you think about it too.