zelet Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 I've heard of 180 (one eighty) described several times but I can't search to find out what it is because it's too short. Could somebody clue in a new person to the forum what it means and where I can find more information on it. I'm going through a separation/possible divorce now and I need to work on making myself stronger so that the decisions she makes wont affect me as much. I've realized (from lurking) that there is nothing that I can do to influence her decisions. Thanks! Glad to be on the board. Link to post Share on other sites
Auroracoladybug Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 check out divorce busting.com and look on here...it is a method of maintaining no contact and disinterest...helps you move on Link to post Share on other sites
delajoonal Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 1. Do not pursue, reason, chase, beg, plead or implore! 2. No frequent phone calls, texts, emails 3. Do not point out good points in marriage 4. Do not follow them around the house 5. Do not encourage talk about the future 6. Do not ask for help from family members 7. Do not ask for reassurances 8. Do not buy gifts 9. Do not schedule dates together 10. Do not spy on spouse 11. Do not say "I Love You" 12. Act as if you are moving on with your life 13. Be cheerful, strong, outgoing and attractive 14. Don't sit around waiting on your spouse - get busy, do things, go to church, go out with friends, etc. 15. When home with your spouse, (if you usually start the conversation) be scarce or short on words 16. If you are in the habit of asking your spouse his whereabouts, ASK NOTHING 17. You need to make your partner think that you have had an awakening and, as far as you are concerned, you are going to move on with your life, with or without your spouse 18. Do not be nasty, angry or even cold - just pull back and wait to see if spouse notices and, more important, realize what he will be missing 19. No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show your spouse happiness and contentment. Show him someone he would want to be around. 20. All questions about marriage should be put on hold, until your spouse wants to talk about it (which may be a while) 21. Never lose your cool 22. Don't be overly enthusiiastic 23. Do not argue about how they feel (it only makes their feelings stronger) 24. Be patient 25. Listen carefully to what your spouse is really saying to you 26. Learn to back off, shut up and walk away when you want to speak out 27. Take care of yourself (exercise, sleep, laugh & focus on all the other parts of your life that are not in turmoil) 28. Be strong and confident and learn to speak softly 29. Know that if you can do 180, your smallest CONSISTENT actions will be noticed much more than any words you can say or write 30. Do not be openly desperate or needy even when you are hurting more than ever and are desperate and needy 31. Do not focus on yourself when communicating with your spouse 32. Do not believe any of what you hear and less than 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives because they are hurting and scared 33. Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel 34. Do not backslide from your hardearned changes Link to post Share on other sites
happylife Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 I guess it simply means, turning a 180 deg turn ie to turn your back on someone or a situation. The advise above is great and is the only way. If my H did that then he would be a lot more apealing to me and thats for sure. What a bunch of fools we are playing these mind games. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 What its really about? Is finding yourself! Took me years to answer the question ~ WTF? Link to post Share on other sites
delajoonal Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Gunny is right...IT is all about finding you... it has taken me months just to accomplish a few of those steps..some will come easier than others..and also depends on if you stll live in the same house? but ya...these are steps that can literally years...but you gotta start somewhere and they are great at helping US to get back on track....just keep in mind this is FOR YOU:) and IF THEY come back..hey bonus...maybe NOT if you no longer want them after accomplishing ALL those steps..LOL work too hard to throw it all away on someone that gave up on you, walked out on you and cheated on you (thearetically speaking of course) Link to post Share on other sites
WalkbyFaith Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 IMO, it works unless your spouse is having an affair. Link to post Share on other sites
WTFO Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 IMO, it works unless your spouse is having an affair. x2 Or your spouse telling you she wants you to be happy with somebody else. AND is having an affair. Link to post Share on other sites
Auroracoladybug Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 x3 if your spouse says they want to be just friends, thinks you both would be happy with someone else, and has checked out of even trying Link to post Share on other sites
lastout_82 Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 this is very hard to pull. im 1 month in, most of the things i can do, i still find myself asking wereabouts. and angry sometimes cold, it varies. maby its cause i belive she is or has had affair. cant prove it. but the signs are there. Link to post Share on other sites
WTFO Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 this is very hard to pull. im 1 month in, most of the things i can do, i still find myself asking wereabouts. and angry sometimes cold, it varies. . Im doing the LC thing(kids) and I find myself also being cold.Not rude, just cold towards her. I know for the kids sake i shouldn't,But I just cant get on that friend level yet. Maybe one day. But not yet. Link to post Share on other sites
lastout_82 Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 thats me, im just cold. not snappy, angry or rude. just cold. then when i hang up the phone i say "why you have to be so cold." Link to post Share on other sites
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