sBlayes Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 A year has gone by and this guy, who i have completely fallen for, has not committed to me yet. First, I would like to point out that I am no fool. I don't give him anything more than he gives to me...relationship wise. I'm sure he knows how I feel, but feelings are hard to hide after that much time has gone by. Maybe thats the problem...he's confident in the way i feel about him and he knows I'm not going anywhere. It got to a point a few days ago that I gave him an ultimatum! Something must have come over me because I am not a fan of ultimatums. I tend to go more with the whole "cut-all-ties" thing. I just don't want to get hurt anymore than I have to. I told him "you have a decision to make and until then I don't have much else to say." he said "ok." we said bye and then he started texting me. I didn't respond. The only contact we had was through facebook. (he was just making comments on my page-no biggie) This past saturday night, we were both out at the same place. His friends all approached me to say hi, and i don't know what to say when i see them because they treat me like i'm his girl, but i'm not soooo i never really say too much. After being there for about 20 minutes, he walked by me then turned around and said "hey whats up!" he had a huge smile on his face, came over hugged me, kissed my cheek, and i introduced him to my friends. I couldn't help but keep my eye on him the rest of the night, but kept my distance, while his friends were buying me drinks??? He was dancing but I kept my cool. I knew that if I reacted to anything stupid he did I'd be the only one looking stupid. At the end of the night we said bye and that was it. When I got home he sent me a "gnite" text, but i never responded because I either want to be something more or nothing at all. I'm just confused. Don't guys usually leave you alone after you've given them an ultimatum if they don't want to be with you exclusively? Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 He wants to see if he can push pass the boundary line that you've drawn. You said that he knows that you'll always be around so he's pretty confident. I wouldn't have given him an ultimatum, but its too late for that. I would stick to my guns and not take him back even if he wanted to because he'll always feel like he was guilted into a commitment. I would move on completely grieve the r and find someone willing to commit because they want to and not because they were given an ultimatum. You will find that person if you're in a position to receive them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sBlayes Posted August 29, 2009 Author Share Posted August 29, 2009 thanks sugarmomma...good advice...i know thats what i need to do. and there is someone that is willing to commit (we'll call him 1), but its just a lil too soon. i know the other guy(2) isn't right for me, but i don't just get over someone after a day. i don't think anyone does. i have a lot of conflicting feelings. im not sure what i would do, if "2" would come around. 2 just recently got word that i was going on a date with 1. called me while i was on my way and left a ridiculous voicemail. part of me was happy i guess that he was jealous, but i don't think he has the right motives. Link to post Share on other sites
FreddieMay Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 But why do you need to have target, sB ?? why do you need to put deadlines? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sBlayes Posted August 31, 2009 Author Share Posted August 31, 2009 what does it matter? he wasn't willing to be with me in an exclusive relationship, which means i'm only wasting my time. it just took awhile for me to finally see that. maybe i was looking for a reason to grow up and step away from a situation i was uncomfortable with... i deserve to know if someone plans on wasting my time or not, especially since he was very aware of what i wanted from him. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts