What do you think?

[JenniferxO]

So I ended things with my ex about a month ago, things were looking up for a while. I'd go out do my own thing, and essentially not give a damn about what he was doing. My friend and I drove to PA (live in Ma) which was a 7 hr drive, to see a friend, I'd party with my close friends, excercise, read.. you name it. Although, We would barely talk, once or twice a week, he'd send me a text to check in. Whatever, I let it roll off my back. We have never been able to stick to a break up, always on and off, Even after we've moved on and been with other people (past break ups). Anyways, getting back to the point, this time seemed different. I was actually focusing on myself. However, Ive recently brought myself back to square one.

I ended things this time, because not only does he drank excessively, but he just brought back his old habit of smoking weed. I dont agree with it. He wouldn't stop for me. He would say he's done, but when we weren't with each other he'd go out with his friends and smoke. He could never stick to his word. So I was fed up, and eventually gave up.

Then this past weekend, I saw him at a party. (we have all the same mutual friends, grew up in a small town) and slept with him. I eventually spent the entire weekend with him, Until I found out he's been hanging out with other girls. I got very jealous.

Anyways, the advice I came here for was I can't seem to let go. I need to let go, and parts of me want to. I am in love with him, entirely. I know this will be the hardest thing i'll ever have to do, but I need to. We live in walking distance from each other too, so it makes it even harder. Do you think it would be totally irrational for me to change my number, exclude myself from parties, gatherings, whatever.. to just get on with my life.

I feel like im giving up so much to let go of the sitaution, but If I don't, I won't ever move on. I absolutely hate this, and I know I put myself in this situation. Opinions would be greatly appreciated, not sure if changing my number is irrational, and obviously Im not thinking straight lately!