RM Posted May 31, 2000 Share Posted May 31, 2000 Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for about two years now. We've broken up a couple of times, I've dated someone else in the midterm, but I came back to my BF twice now. Right now we're at the stage of I think we're just seeing eachother. Things just aren't the same anymore, we hardly ever talk and when we do start to discuss something, we usually end up arguing about it. We haven't slept together in over two months and before that it must have been at least nine months. Not to be conceited or anything, but I would say that I was attractive. People say that he's either cheating on me or he's gay. After we got back together the first time, he talked about marriage with me, but now it doesn't even cross his mind. We seem to have so mant differences, so why can't I just let go? And to make matters worse, we also work together. Now the other guy that I dated gave me everything in the world, I would never have to worry about anything again. The problem is that I was not attracted to him mentally but not physically. He had a couple of draw backs too, but so doesn't everyone. I am just so confused on why I can't make a descision on my relationships. I need advise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 31, 2000 Share Posted May 31, 2000 Had you ever thought about the very remote possibility you haven't met Mr. Right yet??? That's right, maybe by some total and complete coincidence beyond your control, neither of these two men are right for you. Now, that's only for you to decide...but for the rest of the world who reads your post, it's pretty obvious. So, why not set out to seek an attractive, intelligent, kind, considerate, sexually-interested, forgiving, loving, financially stable, etc. guy with whom you share common interests. That seems to be your best bet here. This may sound like a totally new concept to you but I promise you will be energized and renewed by your quest. And you don't have to settle for the first guy in pants. If someone obviously doesn't come close to meeting your needs or standards...there are just so very many guys out there that do. And in the age of the Internet, you can go to digital cities, an online dating service in your town, or pick your city through yahoo, netscape or the other big search engines and find all kinds of guys that may meet your criteria and that live in your geographical area. Hey, give it a whirl. If you are really insecure, get these two guys to give you an option to return to them if you find they are the best you can find. I don't think so!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa Posted May 31, 2000 Share Posted May 31, 2000 Not to sound trite, but men are like buses, there will be another one along in a minute. Seriously, if this bf and you have already broken up before, then this probaly not the ideal relationship for you. Add to that the fact that you have not really had a sex life with him for some time and I would hazard a guess and say that you are both probably just hanging on to each other until someone "better" comes along. People tend to do that; hold on to a relationship they know is not good, because someone is better than no one. But that is not true; while you are holding onto to this guy, Mr. Right might be passing you by. Move one with your life and find the right person who will make you happy. Link to post Share on other sites
magicklady Posted May 31, 2000 Share Posted May 31, 2000 Tony is totally right.. you haven't met the right man yet. Give up the ex, I just did it and it feels wonderful! Being alone is not that bad, I actually enjoy it now. I am not saying that I wouldn't like to meet a man, but when you find Mr. Right you won't be looking, he will just appear and you will know. I had a Mr. Right and I messed things up, but life goes on and so will you. Just get out with some friends and cut loose, go on a trip and you will soon realize what Tony was telling you was true! Good luck Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for about two years now. We've broken up a couple of times, I've dated someone else in the midterm, but I came back to my BF twice now. Right now we're at the stage of I think we're just seeing eachother. Things just aren't the same anymore, we hardly ever talk and when we do start to discuss something, we usually end up arguing about it. We haven't slept together in over two months and before that it must have been at least nine months. Not to be conceited or anything, but I would say that I was attractive. People say that he's either cheating on me or he's gay. After we got back together the first time, he talked about marriage with me, but now it doesn't even cross his mind. We seem to have so mant differences, so why can't I just let go? And to make matters worse, we also work together. Now the other guy that I dated gave me everything in the world, I would never have to worry about anything again. The problem is that I was not attracted to him mentally but not physically. He had a couple of draw backs too, but so doesn't everyone. I am just so confused on why I can't make a descision on my relationships. I need advise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
RM Posted June 1, 2000 Share Posted June 1, 2000 Had you ever thought about the very remote possibility you haven't met Mr. Right yet??? That's right, maybe by some total and complete coincidence beyond your control, neither of these two men are right for you. Now, that's only for you to decide...but for the rest of the world who reads your post, it's pretty obvious. So, why not set out to seek an attractive, intelligent, kind, considerate, sexually-interested, forgiving, loving, financially stable, etc. guy with whom you share common interests. That seems to be your best bet here. This may sound like a totally new concept to you but I promise you will be energized and renewed by your quest. And you don't have to settle for the first guy in pants. If someone obviously doesn't come close to meeting your needs or standards...there are just so very many guys out there that do. And in the age of the Internet, you can go to digital cities, an online dating service in your town, or pick your city through yahoo, netscape or the other big search engines and find all kinds of guys that may meet your criteria and that live in your geographical area. Hey, give it a whirl. If you are really insecure, get these two guys to give you an option to return to them if you find they are the best you can find. I don't think so!!! Ok, now let me fill you in on some other information. I was married for about 5 months. The guy did a total 180 on me. Turned into someone well lets just say, not very nice. So now sometimes I don't know if I purposely find something wrong with everyone that I date. I am so afraid of making a mistake again. I'm probably making this out to be bigger than it is, but at the same time I'm afraid of being alone!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 1, 2000 Share Posted June 1, 2000 You write: "I'm probably making this out to be bigger than it is, but at the same time I'm afraid of being alone!!!" It seems to me that you are now alone. I wish great happiness for you in the near future. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts