sb129 Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 My H and I discussed money as soon as we moved in together, because we had a goal of saving for a down payment on a house AND we wanted to do more travelling together. We kept separate accounts at the time, but had a very detailed budget which helped us reach our savings goals. Once we got back to living in our own country, joint accounts/ finances seemed like the natural thing to do, as we had to start over here, and transfer all the money from the other country to here etc etc. Our mortgage and all the bills are in joint names, so it just makes sense to combine it all. It is easier combining everything- all the accounts (cheque/savings/credit card) are linked together, and everything gets paid into and out of them. We still need to budget, as we are going to need to start paying for childcare next year, and we are paying our mortgage off at more than the minimum rate. I am not really a "wing it" type of person, budgeting worked for us, and helped us achieve our goals of travel, buying a house, contributing to a wedding, and now having a baby. I don't know if we would have achieved as much without budgeting and analysing our spending as much as we have. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 So we combined accounts yesterday. Unfortunately, I lost my job on Friday so now we are going to have to do some budgeting until I can find another one. Fiance is being incredibly supportive and understanding which makes the situation easier. I have some savings so we should be okay in the meantime. We sat down and wrote up a detailed account of all our bills and exepenses and came up with a plan of how much we can spend per week now. I filed for unemployment so hopefully I will be able to qualify. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 he either take out to the cleaner before the marriage or during or after the marriage at least if he cleans you up before the marriage , you will know that you got screwed before you get married and ur feet still on dry land try to cash some money and hide somewhere safe for a rainy day in case he decided to kick you out of the house someday. Been there done that. . What????????? Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 I'm sorry to see you lost your job LB. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 LB- sorry to hear about your job. What happened? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 31, 2009 Author Share Posted August 31, 2009 LB- sorry to hear about your job. What happened? Thanks. On Friday before the day was over they told me they had to let me go because PA is struggling with the budget for non-profits not being passed yet. I am very upset but at the same time a little relieved as I had been having problems with my supervisor for quite some time now. Hopefully I can find another job, other agencies are hiring thankfully. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 Well good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 31, 2009 Author Share Posted August 31, 2009 Well good luck! Thanks!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted September 1, 2009 Author Share Posted September 1, 2009 I got an interview for a women's shelter tommorrow! Yay! Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I got an interview for a women's shelter tommorrow! Yay! Good luck LB. I think you would do wonderful work helping women in need. Link to post Share on other sites
Sam Spade Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I don't know... Obviously it works for some, but the idea of absolutely no financial privacy gives me the creeps. I'm a proponent of the his-hers-ours system. While I'll happily provide for the family, there is simply no way that I'd surrender my entire income into a joint account. Link to post Share on other sites
Shoshana Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I have to agree with Sam Spade - the "his/hers/ours" system is the only way I would feel comfortable. When it became evident that things were getting serious with the man who would eventually become my second husband, we began to discuss issues regarding an impending marriage (finances, goals, etc.). He was very eager to share a bank account with me so that there would be complete transparency as to who was spending what. Sure enough, immediately after we got married, we combined our finances and shared an account. Put simply, it drove me NUTS. He had very different attitudes about saving and spending; mainly, everything I saved, he spent! And when I approached him about it, I got turned into the "money police" telling him what he could and couldn't do. After a year, I made the decision on my own to get my own account and suggested he do the same. We kept the shared account to put money into for groceries, utilities, mortgage, etc. It made me feel a lot better. I didn't like being the "money police." P.S. I eventually ended up divorcing my second husband. Ironically, his "complete transparency" idea was a ruse - because he was paying for all his online hookup websites with his credit card (not a joint credit card, so I never saw the bill). I'm glad we separated our accounts when we did! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted September 3, 2009 Author Share Posted September 3, 2009 I don't know... Obviously it works for some, but the idea of absolutely no financial privacy gives me the creeps. I'm a proponent of the his-hers-ours system. While I'll happily provide for the family, there is simply no way that I'd surrender my entire income into a joint account. Yeah, that's going to take some getting used to. We already agreed that we wouldn't try to censor what each other buys except if it's real expensive we just talk about it to make sure we can afford it. Neither of us are real huge spenders so we are on the same page regarding that. I know what you mean though, it is going to feel weird for him to see all the receipts for everything I buy and vice versa. Link to post Share on other sites
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