Author fooled once Posted August 26, 2009 Author Share Posted August 26, 2009 Thinking of you ((hug)) Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 [[Hug]] I look forward to see you on LS again. Please take care of yourself, do not contribute hurting yourself more than your idoitic H already has. He does not deserve you. Not a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 She's posting some of her story in a relevant thread... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=2354020&postcount=73 Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Wow. I just saw this and got a chill. I'm not alone am I? Thank you. He really kicked my as* this time . I have to admit that for a few days, I was a threat to myself. I am feeling a little better now. I might take a shower today! I believe in the hand of God, even when I think things are unfair. The only thing Ive ever prayed for is strength to deal with what comes my way...anyway, I think that my finding LS so many months ago, and sticking around (when I usually wouldnt) was some kind of divine intervention. I am not kidding when I tell you that in the depth of my despair, I was calling a crisis hotline, contemplating jumping to my death, or killing my husband, hospitalizing myself.... All I had to do was log onto LS and I ...I dont know, all of you kind of pulled me back to....me. Who would have thought. But it makes sense. To be perfectly frank....I have been more honest and sincere here, to all of you, than I ever have to anyone else or even myself. All of the strangers HERE know me better than anyone in my real life. And there doesnt have to be anything sad about that. I'm going to be ok. I'm hurt, I'm scared, I'm angry...but I'm lucid and I'm fighting..which at this point is what I need to do to beat the alternative. I love you. When I am showering regularly and up to buying new plates...I will invite you all to dinner. Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Well, divine intervention didn't stop him from cheating, did it? But to the point: Glad you're feeling better. But gawd, woman, take a shower. And I'm looking forward to that dinner invite! I'll bring the Black Sambuca. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Well, divine intervention didn't stop him from cheating, did it? lol. Thanks for the Mood Swing. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Well, divine intervention didn't stop him from cheating, did it? lol. Thanks for the Mood Swing. God knows how strong you are, even if you don't have a clue. You are a blessing to many...that takes incredible strength. Not sure what happened but 2sure you are the blessings. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 I cant seem to get myself to start a thread, or start at the beginning to explain what is happening to me. Just like when I started coming here, I never "told" my own story but instead worked through it and regurgitated it in the form of answers and questions on other people's threads. If i spend too much time verbalizing it right now, I start to feel all victim like and cry...so I'm just going to at least tell you what recently happened. After my H's last infidelity 2 years ago, we recovered. He changed, I forgave and we both grew from the experience. Our marriage was stronger than ever. Having been married only a short time prior to his cheating...we both felt we were still "beginning" and learning. Recently, I can honestly say that I regained the confidence in myself and my judgement which had been so terribly damaged by his infidelity. Initially, I stayed because I wanted a good and complete life for my daughter (from a previous marriage). I didnt want her to have the Mom who made bad choices. I loved him. That was 2 years ago. Recently, I have discovered that his infidelity never stopped his behavior never changed. It escalated and became more consuming. He maintained his activity by putting a great deal of effort, time, and expense into .....a 2nd life. No one OW. Many. Hit and runs. Just sex once or twice. He actually dated several who thought he was a single guy. He had ID with a different name. A car, a phone , and a lap top I knew nothing about. He created an alternate person who often worked in a nearby city and had a regular room in a hotel there. He had ads up on craigslist, ashleymadison , a swingers site, and several dating services. He hooked up with married women, single women and couples. In three different cities. He also was ****ing a couple of people that knew him for real and that I have met. Its , literally, endless. I havent even finished reading everything yet. I was "checking up on him" at least somewhat all this time. For a living, I deal with political advertising. If someone has kicked their dog...I can find out about it. Get it? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Get it? Speechless Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 There. I said it. Reading my own post has made me physically ill. Link to post Share on other sites
Teslacoil Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Don't be too quick to judge. I'm sure he had his reasons. Stick it out and give him another chance. You won't regret it at all. </sarcasm> Seriously, that's majorly f-ed up. I can't even begin to imagine. I'm really sorry for everything you're going through. Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 No one OW. Many. Hit and runs. Just sex once or twice. He actually dated several who thought he was a single guy. He had ID with a different name. A car, a phone , and a lap top I knew nothing about. He created an alternate person who often worked in a nearby city and had a regular room in a hotel there. He had ads up on craigslist, ashleymadison , a swingers site, and several dating services. He hooked up with married women, single women and couples. In three different cities. He also was ****ing a couple of people that knew him for real and that I have met. Its , literally, endless. I havent even finished reading everything yet. This is really sick (((((((2sure))))))) Link to post Share on other sites
Author fooled once Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 I have to commend you. The fact that you are (a) still sane; (b) not in jail from murdering him © not in a mental hospital; (d) able to put coherent sentences together. I am amazed and in awe of your strength. I have no words of wisdom for you --- just know me and all the others are here to listen, to comfort and to bring a shovel should you need it Take care of you and your Daughter. *hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 This is really sick (((((((2sure))))))) Yeap! 2sure, I'm speechless as well. I'm sorry you're going through this... again. [[[[[[[[[2sure]]]]]]]]] Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 2sure, your last post articulated so well how I deal with my lifes choices and circumstances. "regurgitated it in the form of answers". I think I consume myself with feelings to the point that expressing myself verbally becomes quite a challenge at times. I guess it's easier to deal with someone elses problems and hope that I can help myself along the way possibly, maybe, accidentally.... Anyway, you are very impartial in your post to others. Your post are insightful ,compassionate,& without judgement. You often remind me of my mother in some of your responses. You know, mom could always give you the stern, loving speech that you didn't really want, but knew deep down you needed to hear. Sometimes we try to shoulder all the weight of our problems alone. 2Sure, you've earned alot of respect from being available to people in search of advice, or just an understanding person. So, no, you don't have to feel as if you are alone in what you're going through. When you feel ready to talk, you will. Take care, others are thinking about you. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Oh boy 2sure I am so sorry to hear of what you are going through. Really my heart just breaks for you dear. Please try and remember that your H's action are in NO way your fault...try very hard to believe that in your heart dear, becuase it's the truth. I'm not sure what else to say, except that I'm here for ya sweetheart just like the rest of this forum. Your a very special person who only deserves the very best.. and don't settle for anything less. Please stay strong. (((((hugs)))) Mea:) Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 It gives me a little relief that... The scope of what he has done, clearly indicates mental illness. Still, its just a little relief. Also: I am damaged, for sure. But its not really....heartbreak? Something else. I feel like my life the past few years has been...plastic? While I know that what he has done had nothing to do with me... I cant help but feel like: WTF is wrong with me that he picked ME to do it to?? And worse...I know some of the answer to that. I dont want to address that yet, but I think those answers are what I'm crying about. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetcheripie Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 No one OW. Many. Hit and runs. Just sex once or twice. He actually dated several who thought he was a single guy. He had ID with a different name. A car, a phone , and a lap top I knew nothing about. He created an alternate person who often worked in a nearby city and had a regular room in a hotel there. He had ads up on craigslist, ashleymadison , a swingers site, and several dating services. He hooked up with married women, single women and couples. In three different cities. He also was ****ing a couple of people that knew him for real and that I have met. Its , literally, endless. I havent even finished reading everything yet. I was "checking up on him" at least somewhat all this time. For a living, I deal with political advertising. If someone has kicked their dog...I can find out about it. Get it? Holy crap! Do you have an atty? Get the very best atty. In my state, infidelity is not a reason for divorce but still it shows your husband is sneaky and manipulative and you need to protect yourself. I understand forgiving him the first time. I did the same thing with my ex but the second time - hell no! Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 I really am sorry to read this. I have read a few of your posts and your H always seemed to be controlling and very much a man who believed he could point his finger at you and you would behave. Was married to one of those, and is is no picnic, as they seem to believe that they deserve whatever it is that they want. (((((2sure)))))) Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetcheripie Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 While I know that what he has done had nothing to do with me... I cant help but feel like: WTF is wrong with me that he picked ME to do it to?? And worse...I know some of the answer to that. I dont want to address that yet, but I think those answers are what I'm crying about. He picked you because you are awesome. He is a shallow, damaged individual and in his mind if he has a totally beautiful inside and out wife - he thinks that makes him a good person. There will be plenty of time for self analysis but right now go into self protection mode. Take care of you and your daughter. I don't want to sound like a barracuda but really get the best legal help you can find asap. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 It gives me a little relief that... The scope of what he has done, clearly indicates mental illness. Still, its just a little relief. I would very much tend to believe that he is just not happy with himself deep down. And your right, it's probably some form of mental illness. And it's very unfortunate that a person as kind, beautiful and loving as you.. has to be the brunt of this. Try not to cry sweetie. My gosh, I feel for ya. But I also believe you are one strong lady and you can and will get through this. Mea:) Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixRise Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 It gives me a little relief that... The scope of what he has done, clearly indicates mental illness. Still, its just a little relief. Also: I am damaged, for sure. But its not really....heartbreak? Something else. I feel like my life the past few years has been...plastic? While I know that what he has done had nothing to do with me... I cant help but feel like: WTF is wrong with me that he picked ME to do it to?? And worse...I know some of the answer to that. I dont want to address that yet, but I think those answers are what I'm crying about. 2Sure I am so sorry your H did this. I am so sorry you are in such pain. DO NOT even begin to think that your H chose you to do this to because of your actions in your past (from the above quote, it seems that you are going there). There is nothing that you have done that deserves this. Your H chose you because you are an awesome person and in his own twisted way....he loves you. Your H chose these destructive behaviors because he is a sick man. Period. That Is All. 2Sure, you probaly represented the best of who he WANTED to be...he is just too damaged to know how to get there. Take care of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Right now we have hired a "mediator" . It was H 's idea because he says he wants to do things: 1. Make a more solid post-nuptial contract so that I feel financially protected and 2. The wheels are in motion regardless of which direction I choose. He thinks these things, among others, will make me consider staying with him. What he doesnt know is that I have my own attorney and have been acting on her advice. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Or that I have everything from his secret laptop and his secret cell phone burned on a total of 6 discs. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 I dont want to hurt him but ... I dont know. I'm not going to do anything for a while Link to post Share on other sites
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