2sure -- are you okay?

[Devil Inside]

Wow...I am so sorry.

 

He really is sick.

 

Take care of yourself in every sense.

[Kamille]

((2sure))

 

So sorry to read about what you're going through. It sounds to me like you're proving to be quite strong in dealing with the mess he provoked, showered or not.

 

And whatever you do this weekend, just know that everyone on this thread thinks the world of you.

[Untouchable_Fire]

No one OW. Many. Hit and runs. Just sex once or twice. He actually dated several who thought he was a single guy. He had ID with a different name. A car, a phone , and a lap top I knew nothing about. He created an alternate person who often worked in a nearby city and had a regular room in a hotel there. He had ads up on craigslist, ashleymadison , a swingers site, and several dating services. He hooked up with married women, single women and couples. In three different cities. He also was ****ing a couple of people that knew him for real and that I have met. Its , literally, endless. I havent even finished reading everything yet.

I was "checking up on him" at least somewhat all this time. For a living, I deal with political advertising. If someone has kicked their dog...I can find out about it.

Get it?

 

Holy Hell... !

 

He is so broken... I'm not sure if it's fixable.

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

Hey 2sure

 

So so sorry to hear about your situation and all the pain it is causing you, sending you very big (((hugs)))

 

You have always been a very helpful and caring member of LS, giving everyone golden advice and being there for me when I was in pieces.

 

Look after yourself, it will be ok in the end.

[White Flower]

Damn, man. Just damn. I hate to hear this.

 

Yes, all of us LS Nuts are here for you.

 

F**k that M*ther F*cker. You want me to tell him to his face what a piece of sh*t he is?!

 

Cuz I will.

 

A**hole.

Send Stampdaddy over there...he'll kick his m***** f***** azz for you!

[jj33]

Btw am glad you are posting a little bit. You live your life in a fishbowl and you have to maintain a certain decorum for the public. Think of this as one place where you are loved but faceless so you CAN say what you want how you want without worrying about the public impact.

 

Big hugs

[White Flower]

That's not what I would be breaking...

You mean Mr. Messy would have a broken messy?

[White Flower]

Well, divine intervention didn't stop him from cheating, did it?

 

But to the point: Glad you're feeling better. But gawd, woman, take a shower. And I'm looking forward to that dinner invite! I'll bring the Black Sambuca.

Well, because we have Free Will God can't stop us from cheating; only we can.

[White Flower]

It gives me a little relief that...

The scope of what he has done, clearly indicates mental illness.

Still, its just a little relief.

 

Also: I am damaged, for sure. But its not really....heartbreak? Something else.

 

I feel like my life the past few years has been...plastic?

 

While I know that what he has done had nothing to do with me...

I cant help but feel like: WTF is wrong with me that he picked ME to do it to?? And worse...I know some of the answer to that.

 

I dont want to address that yet, but I think those answers are what I'm crying about.

If addiction is mental illness then you are right. He can and should get help with sexual addiction. I know what you're going through so big, big hugs. PM me any time.

 

(((((((2sure)))))))

[White Flower]

Or that I have everything from his secret laptop and his secret cell phone burned on a total of 6 discs.

That is a whole lot of information!

[White Flower]

Right now we have hired a "mediator" . It was H 's idea because he says he wants to do things: 1. Make a more solid post-nuptial contract so that I feel financially protected and 2. The wheels are in motion regardless of which direction I choose.

 

He thinks these things, among others, will make me consider staying with him.

 

What he doesnt know is that I have my own attorney and have been acting on her advice.

2sure, please ask him what HE is getting out of the M. If you share no children together and he is getting sex from every corner on the planet, then why be M? At least most MM have children they still need to raise or fear their adult children will shun them after D-day. What is your H's story?

[whichwayisup]

((2sure))

 

I admire your strength and wow, you certainly have alot of info to blow him out of the water.

[GorillaTheater]

2sure. I don't have any advice at this point. Hell, I don't know what to say at all except to repeat the fact that I'm thinking of you and want the best for you. It's true, even though it may just come across as a platitude.

 

Actually, the reason I guess I don't have any advice is that I'm totally confident that whatever you do, it'll be the right thing.

 

Hugs.

[bentnotbroken]

You mean Mr. Messy would have a broken messy?

 

 

You got that right sista and then some. 2sure, I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this pain. The extent to which he has gone is utterly amazing. :eek:.

[freestyle]

2sure, please ask him what HE is getting out of the M. If you share no children together and he is getting sex from every corner on the planet, then why be M? At least most MM have children they still need to raise or fear their adult children will shun them after D-day. What is your H's story?

 

 

 

I can only speculate ,of course, but I have gleaned that 2sure`s H is a

public figure who runs for some sort of office.

Who`s gonna get more votes, a swinging single, or a married man?

 

Apperances are everything in the world of campaigning and politics. As much as I hate to say it, the marriage may have only been for the sake of appearances (from his point of view). God, what a slimeball. I wouldn`t give him air if he was in a jar.

[Montclair0011]

What a bombshell. Your heart must be exploded in a million pieces. I'm so sorry. Please take care of yourself and listen to your lawyer.

 

You have a lot more adventures and happiness down the road.

[carhill]

IMO, there's a reason why she has/had a maniacally smiling Hillary Clinton in her avatar. Don't think for a minute that Hillary wasn't good for Bill's political career and he knew it but good. It was rumored he would leave her for one of his paramours back before he ran for President but we all know that didn't happen.

 

Hang in there, 2sure, this will all work out. One day at a time

[angie2443]

IMO, there's a reason why she has/had a maniacally smiling Hillary Clinton in her avatar. Don't think for a minute that Hillary wasn't good for Bill's political career and he knew it but good. It was rumored he would leave her for one of his paramours back before he ran for President but we all know that didn't happen.

 

This is what I was thinking. I think the avator fits for another reason to. If I was cheated on over and over, I'd loose it. I'd probably look like Hillary does in that picture.

[NoIDidn't]

2sure. Just popping in to let you know that I am still thinking of you.

 

You do sound like you are in a very dark place. I don't like the thought of you being alone. Please go to your sister, if you can.

 

I certainly admire your strength and tenacity, but we can all lean on someone else every now and then.

 

(((2sure)))

[White Flower]

I can only speculate ,of course, but I have gleaned that 2sure`s H is a

public figure who runs for some sort of office.

Who`s gonna get more votes, a swinging single, or a married man?

 

Apperances are everything in the world of campaigning and politics. As much as I hate to say it, the marriage may have only been for the sake of appearances (from his point of view). God, what a slimeball. I wouldn`t give him air if he was in a jar.

Aaaahhh, I did not know he was involved in politics and that is a good angle.

 

And it very well may be true that he actually loves you, 2sure, in his own way. But I would still ask him, grill him, and make him dance in order to answer the friggin' question, 'Why me and why stay married?'. And then I'd make him cry.

[tami-chan]

No one OW. Many. Hit and runs. Just sex once or twice. He actually dated several who thought he was a single guy. He had ID with a different name. A car, a phone , and a lap top I knew nothing about. He created an alternate person who often worked in a nearby city and had a regular room in a hotel there. He had ads up on craigslist, ashleymadison , a swingers site, and several dating services. He hooked up with married women, single women and couples. In three different cities. He also was ****ing a couple of people that knew him for real and that I have met. Its , literally, endless. I havent even finished reading everything yet.

 

omg..sorry to sound naive...but how did he find time to do all these? what with a very pubic career and a family?

 

Take care , 2sure.........

[carhill]

I'll help....out of town travel. Speaking engagements. Pressing the flesh. Dinners. Cocktail parties. Fundraisers. Hotel rooms. Random sex takes very little time really. All one needs is a willing partner. Minutes even. Look at Bill and Monica. They did it in the Oval office during business hours. The epitome of efficiency

[tami-chan]

I'll help....out of town travel. Speaking engagements. Pressing the flesh. Dinners. Cocktail parties. Fundraisers. Hotel rooms. Random sex takes very little time really. All one needs is a willing partner. Minutes even. Look at Bill and Monica. They did it in the Oval office during business hours. The epitome of efficiency

 

Oh I understand Bill and Monica. Monica was ONE (albeit fat with a big hair ) and was in the White House---ugh was it in the Oval Office?...but the above seems really really busy and a LOT! Don't get me wrong, I totally believe this...I am just flabbergasted about it.....

[carhill]

The key here is, when one wants something bad enough, they make the time and space for it. One can become very creative when sufficiently motivated. I've felt these drives enough, as a departure from my usual behavior, to know this. No minute goes unused.

 

Although I used a well-known politician as an example, politicians like the OP's H do not in any way have the market cornered. Regular guys like myself do exactly the same things. Women do too, if the MW's I've had contact with are any example. It's human nature.

[Taramere]

And it very well may be true that he actually loves you, 2sure, in his own way. But I would still ask him, grill him, and make him dance in order to answer the friggin' question, 'Why me and why stay married?'. And then I'd make him cry.

 

There's probably nothing real to come out, though. Someone who compulsively lies to the extent suggestive of a personality disorder isn't going to suddenly be injected with emotion, a conscience or normal humanity as a result of a calling out or grilling - however severe, insightful, cutting or well-worded. In that situation you're better off just focusing on keeping yourself as calm and rational as you can, and getting away from the person ASAP.

 

It might sound like a boringly sensible solution, but it's got to be less painful than banging your head over and over against a brick wall. Trying to punish someone like that is as futile as it is to try to change them. The more she tries to punish him, the more she's investing in a bad situation that she should be trying to put behind her now.

 

Whatever bad karma this guy might deserve for all his compulsive lies, 2Sure's number one priority right now should be her own mental health. Getting away and getting help so that there are no more incidents like the poop one she wrote about on the other thread.