2sure Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 To be honest, I'll admit right here and now that posting here is probably not in my best interest. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 Just whatever you do, do not say his name or where you live, what level of politics he's involved in. It's noone's place to ask you this and please, don't post it! Anyway, it sounds like he is putting himself above you once again. I say, do whatever is best for you, whatever that may be.. Just don't let him turn this around onto you, NONE of it is your fault. HIS LOSS and he has to face his own demons/consquences sooner or later.. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 To be honest, I'll admit right here and now that posting here is probably not in my best interest. Then if you need to "talk" with any of us, just use PM's for now. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 To be honest, I'll admit right here and now that posting here is probably not in my best interest. You have to deal with your own comfort level, but I don't think I agree. Speaking as one with some knowledge on the subject, and who'll click on a thread just to see what you have to say about it, you don't have anything to worry about. It may be a problem for your husband, but I guess you need to decide how much of his problem should become your problem. Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixRise Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 2Sure Do whatever you have to do to protect yourself. Clearly this person is not the man you thought he was.. He had someone call you??? To intimidate you?? He is a man who is willing to do or say anything to keep up appearances. So it is ok if you hate his guts as long as you continue to play your part. I hope you got the most cutthroat atty available. Protect Yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 No, he isnt a pedophile. Or even a sexual deviant. He is a narcissist, he is an *******, his sense of entitlement is eclipsed only by his need to be validated on a continual basis. His career choice is perfect eh? I picked it. And to be honest, he is the best public servant. He works hard. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 I wouldn't blame you if you voted for him. But I cannot bring myself to encourage you to remain married to him. "That way lies madness", or something like that. Link to post Share on other sites
In_Repair Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 2sure, thank you for not doing like others by assuming I was attacking you, and in turn getting defensive. It was an honest question on my part, and from your answer, I think you got my point... Just for the record, I think your husband is a prick, from what I have read in this thread anyway. I have no other knowledge regarding your situation. It sucks that HE did this, and it is HIS fault... but more often than not, the BS needs to do a little self reflection themselves. I hope you realize that this is still not an attack, but rather an attempt to help you see any additional facets of this gem, ones that might allow more success in future relationships. Considering your intelligence capabilities and your prior knowledge of his bad habits, how could this situation ever progress to this point? Is it simply a matter of you trusting your husband and not feeling the need to check up on him... or was it more of a denial thing... or were you just emotionally detached on some levels and that kept you from noticing any red flags? Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 Seems like its possible that jumping ship will ruin his career, I would say he deserved it. Especially since he is saying what he thinks you want to hear to keep up appearances. Can you live with that possibility without feeling guilt? Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 His career choice is perfect eh? I picked it. And to be honest, he is the best public servant. He works hard. Not uncommon. Case in point: Bill Clinton. Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixRise Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 Not uncommon. Case in point: Bill Clinton. YES AND Sanford, Ensign, Edwards, Vitter etc.... Seems to be a political male disease Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 {{{{2sure}}}} I am so sorry to hear about all you are going through. I am just shocked at the level of betrayal. I mean. another CAR - a complete double life???!!!!! :eek: Oh. My. God. And I'll echo another poster who commented on your strength and presence of mind right now. You are amazing. And he is a worthless slime. Please keep reaching out, as you can see, many are here to listen and truly care. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 To be honest, I'll admit right here and now that posting here is probably not in my best interest. I was thinking about this over the weekend when you mentioned exposing him. I thought, OMG, don't do that with the fact that you've been an anonymous poster her for a while. I would hate to see him use your exposing him to expose your anonymity. I agree with the others to use PMs, or some other version of a protected thread for this. I'm so sorry you are in this position, 2sure. I marvel at your resilience. Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 2Sure, Just sending you a Hello and thinking of you, hoping all is going well. Link to post Share on other sites
sadintexas Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Sounds to me like the intimidation call was out of fear. It doesn't make me think he has any "cards" or anything else. Actually quite the opposite. He's wanting to remain married for his image and to keep you quiet, and in turn is willing to financially care for you. That's what I'm getting from it. If he's a true narcissist (and sounds like he is to me), his image and the validation he gets from the attention and people having a high opinion of him is what MAKES him. He has no true sense of self. He knows he starves without that admiration. You have the power to take all of that away from him and he knows it. To deal with public humiliation and condemnation from his admirers is a death sentence to him. You're in a position of power, and it's a dangerous place to be. Please tread carefully. There are tactics/ways of getting away from these types that will make things smoother and safer. Please do your research on that if you haven't already. There are some very good NPD/Sociopath forums that have sound advice on them. They helped me immensely through my divorce. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Link to post Share on other sites
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