rudeaims Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 For the same reason anyone with working ears can hear a doorbell. The same reason if someone threw a bowling ball at your head, you will probably duck. Same reason why if you take a stinky mexican sh$t in a public restroom, the person a stall over is going to smell it. To quote 'Scent of a Woman'- "The day we stop looking is the day we die." I think my response is still the best....sorry y'all Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Dude don't feel bad, you can't get along with everyone. Hell, my ignore list like, 15 deep now and growing for every long winded crack addict that can still think up a username. I can ignore most of those folks without technical assistance. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 I can ignore most of those folks without technical assistance. *sigh* Admittedly I struggle with this Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I bet more men think about what a particular women would be like in bed then you or I know. Is that what makes it okay? As logn as the guy thinks she is attractive but doesn't picture her naked or having sex with him? Because I think it's navie to think that most men aren't thinking about having sex with other women. I personally know they do- and I'm okay with that. Honestly I think about that sometimes myself when I see a really attractive guy. Pops in my head one minute and it's gone the next. Thinking about having sex with someone isn't the same as actually doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 I want to be the treasurer. Our exchanges have never been very productive, but lately I've gotten the impression that the poster in question is genuinely mentally ill. I hope I'm not being overly dramatic, but I don't think I am. I just can't engage her any more. You clearly have your opinion and I clearly have mine. Why is it that just because I don't agree with your opinion and have my own ideas and experiences, you make the really deragotry comment that you think I am "mentally ill". Did I ever defame your ideas but EVER saying anything like that to you? That is pretty defamatory to snidly say that about me. You arne't fooling anyone. I NEVER hear you try to really talk to me respectfully. You snidely manage to put me down quite often in your posts and try to hide behind this persona that you think you are all knowing-equal and fair. Yes, you are being overly dramatic. Yes you have your opinions and I have mine. I have never once said you were mentaliy ill for holding the opinons you do. Kindly refrain from passive agressive comments about "this poster ....mentallity ill....I hope I am not being over dramatic..blah blah blah..". Not cool at all. Don't try to defame my character and opinions just because yuo don't like them. I personally know they do- and I'm okay with that. Honestly I think about that sometimes myself when I see a really attractive guy. Pops in my head one minute and it's gone the next. Thinking about having sex with someone isn't the same as actually doing it. I agree that thinking about having sex with someone isn't the same as actually doing. However, considering the amount of time I have heard men say things like "i'm a guy, of course I am going to look...etc etc etc..."and considering how many pretty women there are out there, I personally feel men are sending mixed messages about what they are really committed to. On one hand they want all the benefits of a relationship. And on the other, they still want to act liek they are single or defend their actions and interests in other women. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetjasmine Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Men do look, but so do women. Yup. And I look at the women, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dina2208 Posted September 4, 2009 Author Share Posted September 4, 2009 I really respect everyones opinion on my thread, but I dont respect the rude bashing back and forth. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I really appreciate everyones feedback, but could all of the bashers please just stop, this is supposed to be a helpful community forum . Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 i didn't bash. I just wanted to know if you completely turn a blind eye whenever you see a guy you think is hot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dina2208 Posted September 4, 2009 Author Share Posted September 4, 2009 Well, sometimes I do, but very rarely. I guess it depends on the girl. Ya sometimes I see an "attractive" male, but I'm VERY descrete about it and I dont oggle over them like men do. Sometimes I do decide to turn a blind eye, I feel like I don't really have a need to look/oggle other guys, I love my man =) Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 I'm the same way as Dina. I might see a cute man but I don't think of him sexually 9 times out of 10. And alot of times I do not look and make the effort to not look. I don't ask for perfection from men but so many men use being a man as justification enough to ogle everything that walks by or think about other women sexually. It just seems to be a completely different message of wanting to be in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 I don't ask for perfection from men but so many men use being a man as justification enough to ogle everything that walks by or think about other women sexually. It just seems to be a completely different message of wanting to be in a relationship. Lust is different than love. We guys tend to respond to lust readily, especially when single. Women might be more guarded in that area. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dina2208 Posted September 7, 2009 Author Share Posted September 7, 2009 And that's why women rule! =) Link to post Share on other sites
Toolate Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 Also remember this, if he stops looking at other women your gonna be one of them! Link to post Share on other sites
deux ex machina Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 Yup. And I look at the women, too. I just saw your reply, Lol Sure, why not? We're all a bunch of lookers! Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Lust is different than love. We guys tend to respond to lust readily, especially when single. Women might be more guarded in that area Well that makes it all better. Since guys respond to lust so readily, please lust away and use no self control. What was I thinking. It all makes sense now. I can't believe I thought men made justifacations for certain negative behaviors on the fact that they are "guys", how silly of me. If it's lusting after other women, then that's perfectly okay and men should do it more often. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Well that makes it all better. Since guys respond to lust so readily, please lust away and use no self control. What was I thinking. It all makes sense now. I can't believe I thought men made justifacations for certain negative behaviors on the fact that they are "guys", how silly of me. If it's lusting after other women, then that's perfectly okay and men should do it more often. And guys sometimes look at porn too... Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 That's beacause alot of men care more about their dicks then they do the real women that love them. And clearly men are never happy with what they have. But it's okay. You're a man. Under that principal alone your allowed to indulge and do hurtftul things and not give much thought to the women you hurt in the process. You can promise fidielty but do everything in your power to get around it and pretend like you care about your woman when what most men really seem to care about is the next new piece of eye candy. That seems to be what men care about. Link to post Share on other sites
AAlike Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 You're a man. Under that principal alone your allowed to indulge and do hurtftul things and not give much thought to the women you hurt in the process. yes, instead you should pander to any possible irrational insecurity that your girlfriend might have instead of trying to make her agree with the majority of women on this thread that understand a basic, unconscious hormonal response is completely natural and exists in a completely different realm than a conscious desire for someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Certainly not AALike. I often DO curb my feelings when I know my guy is looking at another woman. It hurts. And I clearly don't have any idea what he is thinking except I know he is staring at another woman and has a certain level of interest in her. That IS how a man's interest starts in a woman, the visual appear, as men continue to lamente and then get mad when a woman realizes how important this is to men. I realize men aren't going to stop looking because that's what they care about. And since I DO care about my man, I don't explode all over him. That says the level of importance he is to me. And it says what is important to him, the new visual eye candy. And I am sorry but it is NOT irrational at ALL to see a threat in a situation where another woman sparks your man's interest. If you are going to use the comment that it is natural to have a hormone response in oggling another woman, then there is no way you can deny that it is completely natural to feel threatened and hurt when your man is clearly responding to another female in way that you know he greatly enjoys. But that shouldn't matter right? All that matters is that "you're a guy". Ergo, anything in the name of male sexuality is just ducky and doesn't need self control. But of course, women should curb their emotions to a man's desires right? That sure as heck seems to be what you are saying. A man's "unconcisous hormone" response is okay. A woman's, when it has anything to do beyind just sexuality, clearly isn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 JS, just stop ramping up the hysteria over something so insignificant as a cursory look. I look and if you tell me you don't, I call full on b/s. Link to post Share on other sites
AAlike Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Jersey, you are completely overanalyzing and overemphasizing. People (not just men - I have not used the phrase "but I'm a guy" anywhere in this thread) like to look at attractive people. period. it's the same reason why attractive people are in movies, in commercials, hosting game shows, whatever. and it is utterly unrealistic, and yes, irrational, to expect that to cease, or to put it in even close to the same category as love or focused sexual desire. heck, there were tons of studies that correlated the amount of women that voted for Clinton in the 90's with his relative attractiveness for a politician (and I do mean relative hahaha). I'm assuming that the message that men should garner from this, given your thought process, is that their wives would slink away with Slick Willie if given the chance, right? I would maybe entertain your notion that being so threatened by a glance is a "woman's natural emotional reaction" if the overwhelming majority of women on here weren't disagreeing with you. but they are, so I won't. Link to post Share on other sites
SummerLady Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Your posts screams one thing, and one thing only: "I am deeply insecure about myself!" She is so right on this. The more secure you are about yourself the less you care if your significant other steals a look here and there. God knows I do and my boyfriend is way hot. If I am walking down the street and see a hot guy I will look. I would never ever cheat on anyone. Everyone here that knows me knows how I feel about cheating. Looking is just looking. Its harmless. I would be shocked if my boyfriend did not look if he saw an attractive women. No biggie really...... Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 JS, just stop ramping up the hysteria over something so insignificant as a cursory look. I look and if you tell me you don't, I call full on b/s. Does your attitude remain the same if your boyfriend is thinking about her naked? having sex with her? Using her later to masturbate or possibly even thinking about her body while he is having sex with you? These are all very real things that men easily do. I never said that I expect men to never ever look again. But I would like to see more self control and less dependency on "i'm a man" mentality then current culture clearly dictates. And when I am with my guy? I don't need to look at other men. He is my focus. When it comes to men, their focus seems to be any new woman that walks by, not there women. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Jersey, you are completely overanalyzing and overemphasizing. I am being honest about the situation. I am not sugar coating the ugly truths. People (not just men - I have not used the phrase "but I'm a guy" anywhere in this thread) like to look at attractive people. period. it's the same reason why attractive people are in movies, in commercials, hosting game shows, whatever. and it is utterly unrealistic, and yes, irrational, to expect that to cease, or to put it in even close to the same category as love or focused sexual desire. Where did I say I expect it to cease? I said I expected more self control and respect for your partner. It just seems liek everytime you got your back turned or when yuo don't, there is another guy, looking at every woman that isn't his. It is over whelming the amount of visual-tail chasing men expect you to smile about and think he is the best men ever still for. heck, there were tons of studies that correlated the amount of women that voted for Clinton in the 90's with his relative attractiveness for a politician (and I do mean relative hahaha). I'm assuming that the message that men should garner from this, given your thought process, is that their wives would slink away with Slick Willie if given the chance, right? We aren't talking about movie stars or attractive public figures. There is a huge difference in the reality of everyday life and the movies and tv. I would maybe entertain your notion that being so threatened by a glance is a "woman's natural emotional reaction" if the overwhelming majority of women on here weren't disagreeing with you. but they are, so I won't. In real life, I know alot of women that don't like their man's looking but put up with it. Because she clearly loves him more then he loves her. She is making him impotant. He is making the looking important. To say that most women aren't bothered by it because of a response in a message board isn't really that objective. It is the exact reason that this is even a couple page topic that it's not so cut or dry or that most people are happy go lucky with it. It continues to be a well known problem for many women. I think men take advantage of their position over women and defend it with him being a man as being good enough reason to be a sleaze ball. And why women get upset. It IS 100% natural to feel somewhat threatened when your man is biologically showing an interest in another woman. To deny that fact is just plain wrong and false. And if we took this a step futher. I bet more women are okay with a man objectively observing another attractive person man or woman then they are if their man is lusting after another woman. How many women are objective when they are responding to another woman on a physical level? Close to none. I bet the thoughts that are runnig through a woman's head, and the ones that are running through her man's, would shock most women. Women tend to be okay with a man noticing another woman is attractive as long as he isn't lusting after her. maybe not the women here but most women do in real life. Turn it into lust, and it changes things. But again, it's nice to see that what is important to most men is other women, not their women. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Does your attitude remain the same if your boyfriend is thinking about her naked? having sex with her? Using her later to masturbate or possibly even thinking about her body while he is having sex with you? These are all very real things that men easily do. I never said that I expect men to never ever look again. But I would like to see more self control and less dependency on "i'm a man" mentality then current culture clearly dictates. And when I am with my guy? I don't need to look at other men. He is my focus. When it comes to men, their focus seems to be any new woman that walks by, not there women. Is this what you tell the men you're dating, you believe? Link to post Share on other sites
sweetjasmine Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 I don't get it. My SO looks, but he doesn't ogle. I look, too, at both men and women. Even though I'm not bi, some attractive women still catch my eye, and I take a second to look without even thinking about it. And even though he might glance at the cute chick across the room for a second, I"ve never seen him look at anyone else the way that he looks at me. And I don't see how checking out other women is any worse than me fantasizing about Brad Pitt or Christian Bale or whoever. Link to post Share on other sites
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