Why do men look at other women?!

[Brady_to_Moss]

batinhell66, thanks for your comment, i think yours was really honest and nice. I'm trying not to worry about it anymore. And for the guys that answered to my thread, thanks to you too. But, from a guys point of view, how come guys look at other girls when your with your GF? What goes on in a guys mind? lol

 

 

What goes on?

 

Simple..

 

 

Were men! Its our brains to look at girls..we cant control it at all! I think most girls are the same way. Nothing wrong about it. I would look at other girls..but my GF is the only girl in my life.

 

 

I look at other cars like BMW's and Lexus and my car gets jelous...but i tell her not to worry

[D-Lish]

Why wouldn't they look?

 

I always notice hot guys~ I just ogle them with my peripheral vision. No harm done. I'd never be so disrespectful as to ogle a hottie in front of my guy.

 

I appreciate the guy that doesn't rubber neck because it indicates that he is more than his glands. I think it's natural for both sexes to look, just be subtle.

[carhill]

I appreciate the guy that doesn't rubber neck because it indicates that he is more than his glands. I think it's natural for both sexes to look, just be subtle.

 

Yes, I don't deny feeling the urge, but suppress it as appropriate to circumstances. There are times I'd like to strangle someone, but I suppress that urge too. It's called self-control.

[La Fresa]

High Self-Esteem is what your lacking. My husbands eyes wonder around and yes I catch him, but I never make a big issue about it. I only say to him" They way you look at those girls is the same way other men look at me". He doesn't like it when I tell him but that's when he tell me that he has to take care of his own prize!

[Mz. Pixie]

Gosh, be secure in yourself. He's never given you any reason to think he'd cheat has he?

 

I don't understand the problem with this- with strip clubs or with porn- as long as my partner is not cheating or using porn instead of being with me.

 

I appreciate a beautiful woman as well- even though I'm not bisexual. I also appreciate a nice looking man.

 

The problem that I would have is if my spouse was verbal about it. I think it's incredibly rude to tell your spouse "Wow- she was hot- look at those boobs would ya?" and stuff like that. Other than that everyone is human and they appreciate members of the opposite sex.

 

Just last week I took my son to the dr- and I'd never met him. My son told me something like "It's wrong to look like him when he's his age- he looks like a model" He came in and I was awestruck. He was really that good looking. Doesn't mean I want to jump into bed with him or leave my partner for him.

 

You're going to lose this guy if you don't stop with this nonsense!

[Untouchable_Fire]

batinhell66, thanks for your comment, i think yours was really honest and nice. I'm trying not to worry about it anymore. And for the guys that answered to my thread, thanks to you too. But, from a guys point of view, how come guys look at other girls when your with your GF? What goes on in a guys mind? lol

 

Ahem... There is an important difference between looking and leering in my opinion.

 

Guys are pretty good at telling the difference between the two. However, most women think Leering is when an ugly guy looks at you, and looking is when an attractive guy does the same thing.

[snoopy girl]

I'm still making a big deal about though. Like I keep talking to my boyfriend about it, and he said he's getting fed up. I just want to talk to him about it, because I like communication and honesty. So, I'm guessing thats a sign to just accept it and move on?

 

girl i feel your pain, its hard to accept it and move on when you know your guy is giving another girl the once over, maybe if you ask him to lighten up when he looks at other girls or just dont do it in your face, men do have a weakness when it comes to women, but he knows that this is hurting you and he should at least try to not do it infront of you as much. i guess if the shoe was on the other foot, he would understand, its called give and take, you let him look at women as long as he wants to but just limit the looking time when he is with you, good luck.

[missdependant]

Why do men look at other women?!

For the same reason women look at other men.

 

For the same reason other men look at YOU even though you're clearly taken.

 

Because there will ALWAYS be attractive women in the world. Sorry, but no, you can't be the only attractive woman in the world.

 

The hottest thing about them is probably their confidence.. not just the fact that they have a nice rack.

 

..Because he probably realizes that while there are always going to be other attractive women out there, you are still his number one. Something you need to learn. There will ALWAYS be hot chicks out there in skimpy clothes, with nice bodies.

 

If he's not cheating, if he still thinks you're the most special.. what's the problem? It's that you're insecure.

 

My advice is to get comfortable in your own skin before you drive him away.

[tami-chan]

Why do men look at other women?!

 

They have eyes...so why not? What's your issue with it?

[rudeaims]

For the same reason anyone with working ears can hear a doorbell.

 

The same reason if someone threw a bowling ball at your head, you will probably duck.

 

Same reason why if you take a stinky mexican sh$t in a public restroom, the person a stall over is going to smell it.

 

To quote 'Scent of a Woman'- "The day we stop looking is the day we die."

[samsungxoxo]

What did you expect, for him to have the reaction of a 10 year old and say ''Ewww gross''?? He looks because he wants to, simply reason. And if you have to keep on wondering what they have and you don't, that is telling how insecure you are... If you're the jealous type, then chances are the relationship will not last. So try not to bore him with those frequent interrogations of ''Oh did you still look at them, oh you really care about me only and not them''. That will bore anyone...

You never look at a hot dude before??? If not then next time you catch him at it, instead of getting all worked-up about it, try that and let him catch you on it. If you have then don't bother him with that again...

[missdependant]

Here's a strange coincidence: Boyfriends usually start looking after they start feeling a lack of confidence in their girlfriend.

 

Oh god.. so untrue.

 

They look because they're human.

[Dexter Morgan]

guys like to chase and women love to be chased

 

 

I don't chase. If someone I am in to plays a game for me to "chase" them, then I don't bother and move on.

[Jersey Shortie]

I think it's disrespectful. It's one thing to recongnize that there are other attractive people and another to be on the prowl whenever your girlfriend is there are the second she has her back turned oggling the eye candy. I really don't understand how people can sit here preaching about how *she* needs to control her very natural feelings and *he* is allowed to pander to them because he is a guy. That's really the only excuse that anyone has give why it's okay to look. Because he is a man. Well here is what I say, it's okay to be upset and hurt because you are a woman. That's 100% as natural as him looking. Because he infact is showing you exactly what the competition is. Sure he is with you. But is he really with you because he really cares? Or because you are currently where his bread is buttered and he knows he has no chance with the girls he is oggling? If a man is truly secure in himself and his sexuality with you, he wouldn't need to look. The fact is men are not any more secure in themselves then women are.

 

I find this preaching about how women need to control themselves and their natural feelings and how men can run around pandering to them is completely wrong. Of course, I am sure men love this. They get to disrsepect the very women they claim they care about and have some eye candy to enjoy while doing it. I am not asking that no one be attracted to someone else if they are in a relationship. I am asking that both sides use more self control. Something that very little ever happens when it comes to men and their sexuality. EVERYTHING men want to do that hurts the women in their lives seems to be okay under the guise of "i'm a guy, shut up and deal with it. You're needs as a woman are worthless in the face of my physical desires for other women". That is always the message it seems!

 

If you are a guy and you are always on the prowl and want other women, then simply don't be in a relationship. Why do men like to lie and say they respect commitment and love but hurt the women that love them by basically telling them that they can't really ever truly love or be commited to her! It's like men don't give a crap about anything that reaches outside their sexuality. It hurts. Women want to be loved and treasured. And eyeing everything that walks by sends a huge message about how you feel about yourself as a man, your relationship and clearly the other women you are eyeing.

 

I will say it again, it is NOT fair to ask women to control their natural feelings while we sit there and tell men that they can buy/feed theirs. It might be natural to look but it is JUST as natural to be hurt by it as a woman. And I am sick of us telling women they ahve to be strong while we tell men it's okay that they be weak. But who am I kidding. Today's men mostly are very weak and pander to their worst common denominators instead of being strong, respectful, committed, loyal and steadfast.

[GorillaTheater]

I really don't understand how people can sit here preaching about how *she* needs to control her very natural feelings and *he* is allowed to pander to them because he is a guy.

 

There is not one single post on this thread supporting your position. Once again, you see what you want to see, whether based in reality or not.

[Thaddeus]

Today's men mostly are very weak and pander to their worst common denominators instead of being strong, respectful, committed, loyal and steadfast.

Yet more misandry. Yet more hate.

 

If someone - ANYONE - regardless of gender said, "Today's (insert downtrodden ethnic group here) mostly are very weak..." they'd be called out immediately as a bigot.

 

But for some reason, misandry gets a free pass.

 

Congrats, JS, you've just earned my first *ignore.*

[Mz. Pixie]

I will say it again, it is NOT fair to ask women to control their natural feelings while we sit there and tell men that they can buy/feed theirs. It might be natural to look but it is JUST as natural to be hurt by it as a woman. And I am sick of us telling women they ahve to be strong while we tell men it's okay that they be weak. But who am I kidding. Today's men mostly are very weak and pander to their worst common denominators instead of being strong, respectful, committed, loyal and steadfast.

 

I'm a woman- and it doesn't make me feel inadequate if my husband looks at another one. There is a big jump from thinking someone is attractive to jumping into bed with them. I've have confidence in the way I look and he would be hard pressed to find someone who treats him the way that I do. So, if he'd rather get out and cat around than be with me- his choice. I can't ask my man to walk around with blinders on.

 

"Oh, is she more attractive than me? Do you like her chest better than mine? What about my legs- what do you think about them?" Gets old real fast.

 

She does have the right to feel hurt if she wants to, but that won't be productive for her in this situation. It will only go so far and he will get sick of it. As much as she has the right to be hurt- he has the right to press on out of the relationship if she's too insecure for him.

 

No man or woman wants to be with someone who has to constantly be reassured of their value. That's my point.

 

I didn't really take this post as a male or female bashing session.

[Jersey Shortie]

There is not one single post on this thread supporting your position. Once again, you see what you want to see, whether based in reality or not.

 

There are quite a few posts here that justify the behavior based on the fact that "we are guys" mentality. Men are allowed to pander to their sexuality, and women should curb their own feelings in the face of a man's sexuality. That's the message here. Go ahead and prove me wrong.

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Yet more misandry. Yet more hate.

 

If someone - ANYONE - regardless of gender said, "Today's (insert downtrodden ethnic group here) mostly are very weak..." they'd be called out immediately as a bigot.

 

But for some reason, misandry gets a free pass.

 

Congrats, JS, you've just earned my first *ignore.*

 

Oh spare me. This country is fat on more then just food. Infact, I think sexual consumption and addiction is even more prevalent then food consumption. We aren't a culture of self control and discipline. I am just pointing out that we tell women to curb themselves, control themselves and then turn around and say it's okay that men do x,y and z.

 

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I'm a woman- and it doesn't make me feel inadequate if my husband looks at another one.

 

It doesn't make me feel inadequate either. I think there is a level of disrespect associated however, for me.

 

There is a big jump from thinking someone is attractive to jumping into bed with them.

 

I bet more men think about what a particular women would be like in bed then you or I know. Is that what makes it okay? As logn as the guy thinks she is attractive but doesn't picture her naked or having sex with him? Because I think it's navie to think that most men aren't thinking about having sex with other women.

 

"Oh, is she more attractive than me? Do you like her chest better than mine? What about my legs- what do you think about them?" Gets old real fast.

 

Of course it does. As does men looking at everything that walks by just because it's pretty. Both get old fast.

 

She does have the right to feel hurt if she wants to, but that won't be productive for her in this situation. It will only go so far and he will get sick of it. As much as she has the right to be hurt- he has the right to press on out of the relationship if she's too insecure for him.

 

One can easily flip this around and say that it's not productive of him to keep doing an action that is hurtful to the relationship. It will only go so far and SHE will get sick of it. As much as he has the right to look, she has the right to press on out of the relationship if he's too insecure to be satisifed with himself as a man and his relationship. I am sorry but one need or desire is not mor eimportant then the other. Your post above makes it seem like her needs are secondary to his.

 

No man or woman wants to be with someone who has to constantly be reassured of their value. That's my point.

 

Actually, that is what relationships are partly built on. A consistant mutual connection that is worked at and shows each parter that they do still value the relationship through action.

 

While constant validation is no fun or neediness, the constant desire to visually seek out other women and neediness for that isn't any fun either.

 

I didn't really take this post as a male or female bashing session.

 

I don't either. I just don't see how we can ask women self control and curb themselves while we give men free issue to pander to their desires.

[deux ex machina]

Men do look, but so do women.

 

I just think it's funny that many seem to think there's a huge, vast difference. Like we don't even belong to the same race.

 

There are differences. Yet just as men are wired that way, so are women.

 

Do men tend to be more visually-oriented? But of course.

 

I do find it interesting, some of the things I read here that take that and run with it, saying women don't care what men look like, and aren't into the way a man looks.

 

Wanna bet? Lol

 

I care what a male looks like. I'm visually-oriented as well. Almost as much as your average guy.

[missdependant]

I think it's disrespectful... blah blah blah

 

Of course you do. You think EVERYTHING a guy does is disrespectful unless he's on a short leash, never looking up from the ground EXCEPT at his girlfriend, following a girl around as a servant.

 

Maybe YOU'RE the one that's disrespectful to men and their needs.

[Dexter Morgan]

So, this always seems to be the big topic that gets a lot of girls fighting back, and something to be always jealous about. I had a talk with my boyfriend tonight. I always used to ask him if he would look at other girls, and he would deny it and swear that he wasn't lying. Until he finally confessed it today. He said the reason why he didn't want to admit that he does that is because he was scared of my reaction, when really it hurt just as much when he lied to me for so long about it, and told just confessed it to me now. But deep down, I kinda knew all along that he would now and again look at some "hot" chick walking by, or "going in his field of vision" as he calls it. I told him how it makes me feel, and he said that all guys do it, and sometimes we CANT control it. I know he still loves me, but it makes me feel like a piece of **** when I catch him do it. I feel like "well what does she have that I dont have?" or "is he looking at her ass or whatever because mines not good enough?" It always seems to bring me down. For example, today we went to wonderland, and we went to the water park, and of course, there's good looking girls with nice bodies and pierced belly buttons or whatever, and I knew in my gut that whenever there was a nice looking girl he would take a little peak.

 

again, you trying to tell us you don't look at a guy and think to yourself, "damn he's cute!" or "thats a damn fine body on that hottie" ??

[GorillaTheater]

I think I once said that I would never put another poster on "ignore", out of general principles. I take it back.

 

I think both of us will be relieved.

[Thaddeus]

I think I once said that I would never put another poster on "ignore", out of general principles. I take it back.

 

I think both of us will be relieved.

Should we start a club?

[GorillaTheater]

Should we start a club?

 

I want to be the treasurer.

 

Our exchanges have never been very productive, but lately I've gotten the impression that the poster in question is genuinely mentally ill. I hope I'm not being overly dramatic, but I don't think I am. I just can't engage her any more.

[sally4sara]

I want to be the treasurer.

 

Our exchanges have never been very productive, but lately I've gotten the impression that the poster in question is genuinely mentally ill. I hope I'm not being overly dramatic, but I don't think I am. I just can't engage her any more.

 

Dude don't feel bad, you can't get along with everyone. Hell, my ignore list like, 15 deep now and growing for every long winded crack addict that can still think up a username.