NoIDidn't Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 IG your feelings are perfectly normal. Two years is a long time for such an intense relationship. And affairs tend to be far more intense than relationships that aren't. You are doing great. Just make sure that you keep eating and don't let the sadness that will continue for awhile engulf you. ((IG)) Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 India having read all the posts do you see how awesome you are? I have never seen ANYONE turn around this quickly. It hurts like theres no tomorrow but you are doing it and you are sticking to it. Now THAT is the girl your family and friends have been missing. Youve already got your sparkle back and you dont even know it - you just cant see it through the tears. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 Brilliant, Indiagirl! Am happy for you . Stay strong! Link to post Share on other sites
Author indiagirl1 Posted August 27, 2009 Author Share Posted August 27, 2009 Thanks guys. Just woken up and feeling totally numb, not happy, not sad. Just flat and emotionless and my head keeps torturning myself with memories. It was only a month ago we had a day in London together (I'm from the UK) and I can't stop re-living that day and the fun we had. I remember being on the high of all highs all day and then he dropped me off at my place then drove home and I sat there and cried for three hours. Never again. Link to post Share on other sites
LaGazelle Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 OMG! Well done IG. You have made a great decision, now go out and starting having all the fun you want without him. Easier said than done, but you know you don't need him to have fun days out in London or anywhere else. You can get on the train, or in your car and just head for Oxford Street and Bond Street for a healthy dose of retail therapy. But seriously, all the very best for your progress forward. Very well done girl! BTW, someone mentioned that you should bin any flowers or gifts you receive. If I were you, I would keep the flowers (If you can manage it without being traumatised by memories) but bin any cards without reading them, plus any other gifts you may receive. Hugs. Link to post Share on other sites
Jacky Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 Being flat and emotionless might be a good thing, it will get better. Memories can't be deleted so just try to keep yourself occupied. Gym, shopping and work should help you out! Or just go out with your friends and have a time to catch up with gossip. Im from the UK too, so if Oxford street and Bond street isn't enough shopping therapy I recommend Westfield! Get a few friends together and go to Westfield, I am sure it will be a fun day out. Keep up with the NC, I am rooting for you. Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 Wow, you are awesome!!! What a great job. Keep us updated! Link to post Share on other sites
Devil Inside Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 Hey India...you are going to go through all kinds of emotions. Just let yourself feel them and then you'll see that they pass. You will also remember all the good times. Our minds have a way of idealizing the other person. This I assume happen especially in As because our meetings are planned and thus always these special, unique, and romantic times. Try to think of some of the not so great things to..to balance it out. I know..."we had no bad times"....think about it....yes you did. Think about how empty you felt every time he said goodbye to go be with his family. Think about how you felt horrible having to lie and keep secret from all your friends and family your love. Think about holidays and birthdays all alone...without him....he somewhere else. Not saying these things to depress you...but you need to have a balanced picture of what the A really was...no denying there are times where it can't be beat...but it was not worth it...and you are better off...and before you know it you will create new memories with a man that deserves you. Link to post Share on other sites
jasminetea Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Brilliant! You're just brilliant! Link to post Share on other sites
Confused4Now Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Hey India...you are going to go through all kinds of emotions. Just let yourself feel them and then you'll see that they pass. You will also remember all the good times. Our minds have a way of idealizing the other person. This I assume happen especially in As because our meetings are planned and thus always these special, unique, and romantic times. Try to think of some of the not so great things to..to balance it out. I know..."we had no bad times"....think about it....yes you did. Think about how empty you felt every time he said goodbye to go be with his family. Think about how you felt horrible having to lie and keep secret from all your friends and family your love. Think about holidays and birthdays all alone...without him....he somewhere else. Not saying these things to depress you...but you need to have a balanced picture of what the A really was...no denying there are times where it can't be beat...but it was not worth it...and you are better off...and before you know it you will create new memories with a man that deserves you.AGREE AGREE AGREE...this exactly how I approached things. Excellent post!!! Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 I' am sorry to be the one to look at the bad side but if you haven't told your H about this then it isn't over. You have to truly make some sacrificing if you want this to be over. It's going to be hard but the right thing to do is never easy. You have to suck it up and confess if you haven't done it already. Link to post Share on other sites
Author indiagirl1 Posted August 29, 2009 Author Share Posted August 29, 2009 Husband? I don't have a husband. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 I' am sorry to be the one to look at the bad side but if you haven't told your H about this then it isn't over. You have to truly make some sacrificing if you want this to be over. It's going to be hard but the right thing to do is never easy. You have to suck it up and confess if you haven't done it already. You might want to take the time to read someone's backstory before you comment on it . Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 I' am sorry to be the one to look at the bad side but if you haven't told your H about this then it isn't over. You have to truly make some sacrificing if you want this to be over. It's going to be hard but the right thing to do is never easy. You have to suck it up and confess if you haven't done it already. This was a response to ladydesigner's thread and somehow it got here, my bad. Link to post Share on other sites
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