bentnotbroken Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 This will be the first time I'm going to say this....I totally agree with Chrome on this one!!!! Damn did I say that? Yup, you did. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 27, 2009 Author Share Posted August 27, 2009 heck even I kind of agreed with Chrome. The newguy is not a stranger. Our kids go to school together and we have met on a few occasions. He is spiritual/religious, a wonderful father and gives me so much attention, takes care of everybody around him. I don't see it slowing down, or at least not in the sense that it is a fast growing deep friendship. The physical side is going to wait. I am already insecure in that I think he may see past my *ahem* beauty and wonder wtf he got himself into. I think the difference with newguy is that he lives here, and we can call each other up and say hey, let's go for a walk. It's not an hour drive to see each other. MM ... yes if I didn't throw him, he would have thrown me. My coworkers can mind their own business. MM told me he still loved me, two days ago. But I am pretty sure if I held his hand and kept waiting, he would still be wavering with his wife, only not sleeping in the same bed. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 stop with the poor w crap, PLEASE!!! Are you kidding me Mino? His wife had cancer, and he BAILED on her. So, no, I won't stop with the poor wife crap, as you say. One of my closest friends had breast cancer, she survived it, my father died of cancer and so did both of my aunts, so again I say his poor wife. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 Initially I wanted to freind-zone him but he didn't see why we shouldn't jump in. I told him if you knew you would run, and I told him everything, and know what? He said he would never run. But you are NOT ready for another relationship. You haven't even healed from the last one. Plus, you posted recently about your exH.. This guy is 'off'. The counsellor/boyfriend..Something isn't cool with him.. Leaving one relationship and starting another one so quickly is NOT HEALTHY for you. Give yourself time to be alone and learn to enjoy it. You don't NEED to have a man in your life to complete you. Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 Are you kidding me Mino? His wife had cancer, and he BAILED on her. So, no, I won't stop with the poor wife crap, as you say. One of my closest friends had breast cancer, she survived it, my father died of cancer and so did both of my aunts, so again I say his poor wife. My Bad, I must be tired... going to bed, I didnt realize he did that while the w was sick,, Geezzz, what is wrong with me today... I just dont know, Night everybody Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 Are you kidding me Mino? His wife had cancer, and he BAILED on her. So, no, I won't stop with the poor wife crap, as you say. One of my closest friends had breast cancer, she survived it, my father died of cancer and so did both of my aunts, so again I say his poor wife. wwisup, My mom had breast cancer, so I get it.... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 Sorry to hear about your mom Mino.. It's okay. Get some sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 But you are NOT ready for another relationship. You haven't even healed from the last one. Plus, you posted recently about your exH.. This guy is 'off'. The counsellor/boyfriend..Something isn't cool with him.. Leaving one relationship and starting another one so quickly is NOT HEALTHY for you. Give yourself time to be alone and learn to enjoy it. You don't NEED to have a man in your life to complete you.' Have to agree MWC -- you are NOT ready for a new relationship. This one has barely ended. IF this newguy can't see that, he is a sh*tty counselor. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 I think alot of people want you to get mentally better before you even start dating anyone else first MWC. Youve been through so much turmoil mentally and emotionally. You ARE messed up. Sit down and be alone.... Just be by yourself for the time being. Stop looking for someone who's gonna fill that black hole inside of you and fill it yourself. damnn....... Link to post Share on other sites
OW_WS Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 I think it was a big mistake to go to HR as well..Sorry, but knowing full well he was your boss and that he was married from the beginning doesn't justify the fact it's ended badly for you to go to HR. If anything, you should have just left your job and focussed on healing and moving on. Either way, now you both are gone, you won't be able to stay there as word will get around and I hate to say it, your reputation is going to be questioned. Leaving could be the best thing for you, to start over professionally somewhere else. I agree in fact. I am all for MM getting their arses handed to them, feminism and all that but I sincerely doubt this was a good move FOR YOU. Whether out of revenge, wanting to cover your behind or just because you took bad advice you've made a mistake. If you think people will ever see your side of things that's naive. Your work place will never be the same again with or without MM. MWLB - question, in your initial post you said the new guy gave you the advice to go to HR, right? Hmmm I wonder about that if that's the case. Maybe he harbours quite some resentment towards MM, it would only be natural. Do you spend a lot of time talking about the xA to him? That would explain it. And I am not bashing you in the least, (just wondering about the dynamics with new-guy) my NSA MM is my boss as well, I can imagine the power struggle you had to face, it's not for everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 And I am not bashing you in the least, (just wondering about the dynamics with new-guy) my NSA MM is my boss as well, I can imagine the power struggle you had to face, it's not for everyone. But don't you know in advance that a potential "power struggle" is a consequence of any romance (much less the drama that goes along with an A) with your boss ??? I don't understand the thinking behind willingly going into a relationship that brings those consequences and then painting yourself as a victim of those same issues afterwards. I think that's what some people are objecting to... Mr. Lucky BTW - What is NSA? Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 I agree in fact. I am all for MM getting their arses handed to them, feminism and all that but I sincerely doubt this was a good move FOR YOU. Whether out of revenge, wanting to cover your behind or just because you took bad advice you've made a mistake. If you think people will ever see your side of things that's naive. Your work place will never be the same again with or without MM. I know I said I wasn't going to respond unless requested to, but I wanted to respond to this because this is what I was thinking when I first posted. Everyone on this job will remember you as the OW that told on her MM and made him feel he had to resign. That's not a good spot to be in. I know you did what you felt like you had to do, so its too late to regret it now. And I am not bashing you in the least, (just wondering about the dynamics with new-guy) my NSA MM is my boss as well, I can imagine the power struggle you had to face, it's not for everyone. Everyone keeps asking what NSA means. LOL.. I think it means No Strings Attached. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 Everyone keeps asking what NSA means. LOL.. I think it means No Strings Attached. If that's what it means then "NSA MM" falls squarely into the oxymoron category along side "jumbo shrimp"... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
OW_WS Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 But don't you know in advance that a potential "power struggle" is a consequence of any romance (much less the drama that goes along with an A) with your boss ??? I don't understand the thinking behind willingly going into a relationship that brings those consequences and then painting yourself as a victim of those same issues afterwards. I think that's what some people are objecting to... Ummm I missed the part where I did the victim act. I'm no victim, you're presuming that because he is my superior the balance tips in his favour... dangerous, if so typically male assumption. When it comes to power struggle in a R, any R, the equation is far more complicated and there are many, delicious shades of grey. Let's just say that in my case, the existence of this element was an aphrodisiac. If that's what it means then "NSA MM" falls squarely into the oxymoron category along side "jumbo shrimp"... I am not being fascious, just curious why you say that. Do you honestly believe having a purely sexual relationship is not possible between two people or is it just between two married people that it is not doable? And why is that? Probability of D-Day occurring? What else? Really curious as to what your reasoning is, heard a few of them in my time, none holds water. - Forum etiquette question: Is this considered a hijack of the OP's thread and is this impolite and/or against the rules? What's seen as okay here, starting another thread? MWCL - still around? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Ummm I missed the part where I did the victim act. I'm no victim, you're presuming that because he is my superior the balance tips in his favour... dangerous, if so typically male assumption. The only thing "typically male" about my post was my lack of clarity. The victim reference was to the OP and her choice to out her xMM to HR. Sorry I wasn't clear... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
OW_WS Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 The only thing "typically male" about my post was my lack of clarity. The victim reference was to the OP and her choice to out her xMM to HR. Sorry I wasn't clear... Well my bad, sorry for jumping at conclusions if only we both agree it was not that big of a jump You haven't answered the shrimp/oxymoron part to me yet so I take it you think that would be a hijack hence let's leave it. Link to post Share on other sites
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