Author NSW768 Posted September 2, 2009 Author Share Posted September 2, 2009 i did really **** it up. she said she needed a lil space, i freaked. she said just gimme some more space, i freaked. she said please SPACE and i gave her a week, and grabbed my **** like a lil kid and then still called her. so she finally said its over. i see it now. i bought into the remorse and the drama. sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 You seem like you freak when you lose control over the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
gordon_gc Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 Don't be too hard on yourself telling yourself you ****ed it up in a month. Trust me, if she really loved you, she would have gone through this with you. According to me, it was probably just a build up of little things that started putting doubt in her mind. With you freaking out during that month, you just triggered the "f... that ****, he is too overwhelming". What you did during that month was thinking with your emotions, not with your brain because during the time you guys were together, she probably liked when you were showing emotion and you just assumed "it'll do good if i do the same". Well, it didn't. Something I've learnt about women is that they are really predictable in their general behaviours but still, really unpredictable to us guys and most of the time, we don't get when things change suddenly. All you can do now is LEARN from your lesson. LET go (i know it's hard to hear) and BUILD yourself to be a better man, whether it's for her or most likely for somebody else who will appreciate you for what you are. But, you REALLY need to work on these issues of freaking out ASAP or it will be a recurrent problem in your life (trust me, I've learnt the hard way) Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted September 3, 2009 Author Share Posted September 3, 2009 im just thinking about this whole thing, i mean im having a hard time not thinking about it. but i realize i became pyscho bf and not only that but stopped being the thing i think should loved most about me, and that was easy going and downright cool. i stopped being cool. i mean thats really it. and not just in the relationship but all facets of my life, because she became my life in essence and thats not cool at all for anyone. i learned a lot from this. still sucks. i wonder one last question... her b-day is 9/11, to send a card or not. im not going to call or text but i think a light-hearted card would be a nice gesture. but u guys will prolly say move on and stop obsessing. anyway i guess i wont. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Don't send so much as a thought her way on the 11th. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Okay OP, let's talk about giving her space and NC. NC = No contact. This means no calls, no visits, no texting, no birthday cards no NOTHING. NO NO NO NO NO. Okay? :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
bayouboi Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Don't send her anything for her birthday, it won't mean anything to her. She's long since disconnected from you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted September 5, 2009 Author Share Posted September 5, 2009 as far as updates go. got a date next weekend. got a box today with some stuff that mustve still been there with a lil sticky note saying "im sorry" f her Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 as far as updates go. got a date next weekend. got a box today with some stuff that mustve still been there with a lil sticky note saying "im sorry" f her Did you already forget about your ex with this new girl? nice! Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted September 6, 2009 Author Share Posted September 6, 2009 hardly forgot about the ex. almost thinking its too soon for a date actually. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 hardly forgot about the ex. almost thinking its too soon for a date actually. Go on the date if it will get you to go out. Did you throw out the apology note? I hope you haven't kept it. No birthday cards on her birthday, no contact, no texting, no messages, and NO CONTACT. If you have to, you should chain yourself to your room on her bday and pray with all your might that you do not fall into temptation. Oh, and start writing yourself little notes on why you should be strong each day. In fact make yourself a list on what you are going to do instead of contacting the ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted September 6, 2009 Author Share Posted September 6, 2009 yeah ithrew the note out right away. it was weird because the stuff she sent i couldnt find in the place so maybe she was holding onto it more? anyway im not going to contact her, maybe forever if thats what happens. i def learned my lesson about NC its just really weird to think ill never talk to her again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted September 8, 2009 Author Share Posted September 8, 2009 im really so ****ing up and down right now. i hang out with my friends who i havent seen in really years and they are such losers i can see now why i attached so hard to my girl. its really sad sitting at a bar with these young dudes and they are so depressed and drink so much and i am slowly becoming one of them i need a change of lifestyle but im not sure if i can ever get over her. i thinking about her all day today it was horrible. i just need a support system or something. i cant really sleep without booze right now. im turning into something pathetic and its scares me that i will be like this when i was so happy with her, but she obviously was not. i cant stop thinking about what she is doing even though i know her so well it is nothing amazing. i keep also thinking about when she said she wasnt sure if she was in love with me anymore. i think thats the saddest thing ever. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 You are not turning into something pathetic. I don't believe your friends are that bad. I think it all "SEEMS" bad. Why? Because everything just feels bad. You'll get over it. NC NC NC NC Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted September 8, 2009 Author Share Posted September 8, 2009 i appreciate that Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted September 8, 2009 Author Share Posted September 8, 2009 she texted me today. i deleted it but mostly it said. "this isn your fault. i need time to be independent and alone. i had to hurt you to do this" thats the jist. is there some chance she wants to get back? Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted September 8, 2009 Author Share Posted September 8, 2009 actually reading that i know she just wants to clear her conscious Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 she texted me today. i deleted it but mostly it said. "this isn your fault. i need time to be independent and alone. i had to hurt you to do this" thats the jist. is there some chance she wants to get back? I didn't read this entire thread but I don't think she wants to get back together at this point. She told she needs needs time to be independent and alone so don't push her and just cool it. If she comes back to you then that is great but I wouldn't wait around like a puppy for her either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted September 9, 2009 Author Share Posted September 9, 2009 i gotta stop posting the same ****. she obviously keeps saying the same bs, i gotta just do NC and move on with my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted September 10, 2009 Author Share Posted September 10, 2009 this super sucks. NC sucks. i want to send her a text with a joke, but im not going to ... and not like a ****ty joke, but i guess if she doesnt respond ill feel even crappier... Link to post Share on other sites
bayouboi Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 You may find the best support in the Coping section of the forums, bud. I found alot of comfort there while I was going through my divorce. Even if you don't want to post, just reading the things in there can be a big help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted September 10, 2009 Author Share Posted September 10, 2009 yeah i have been. i know i keep posting the same **** but i really dont have anywhere else to vent or talk to (family and friends i can tell are getting a little weary)... so my bad if im spamming the board Link to post Share on other sites
bayouboi Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 Naw, I don't think anyone has a problem with you venting here. I was just hoping to give you an outlet that may be more responsive and in tune with the way you're currently feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
Paragon Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 My friend, when a girl says this, it means she wants to go out and see what else is out there--plain and simple. She wants to meet other guys, date other people, and wants to experience other things. She does not want to get back together, and if she ever says she does, she'll eventually change her mind. When you read that, what does it mean to you? This is not a rhetorical question but rather one that is important to answer... Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 she texted me today. i deleted it but mostly it said. "this isn your fault. i need time to be independent and alone. i had to hurt you to do this" thats the jist. is there some chance she wants to get back? If you don't give her her space, the two of you will end up hating one another. I hate to say it but this relationship must end - at least for now. As much as this hurts, I totally understand what she is going through and it has nothing to do with you, nor is there anything you can do about it. You're just in the wrong place at the wrong time. And it wouldn't matter if you looked like Johnny Depp and sang like Elvis Presley. It simply isn't about what you are, or are not. She needs to experience the world but can't do that with complete freedom with you in her life. Men always see this as someone wanting to sleep with other people but it's really not about that. She is too young to settle down and be with someone. She wants so much to explore herself and I give her credit for seeing her needs as clearly as she does. But the converse of that is that it hurts her like crazy to let go of you. But she knows also that she has no choice. About the only thing you can do is to let her go and hope that your paths cross again someday. I'm sorry, I know this is killing you. But you never know what the future holds. Link to post Share on other sites
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