xpaperxcutx Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 feeling a lil better right now. i just didnt know if stepping back this much was right. what if she calls or texts the next couple of days, should i ignore it? I avoid people by pretending my cell's broken. Turn off your phone or block her number. Just don't have any contact with her. This is the first step to starting over. And please, honestly, you're 24. You need to at least start getting out and meet more girls before you decide to settle just for one. And definitely not one that had cheated on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted August 27, 2009 Author Share Posted August 27, 2009 its amazing how ****ty i feel right now. simply amazing but thanks for all the advice. i work by myself. this sucks Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetcheripie Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 Call some friends - definitely go out and do something tonight. It will get better in time. Just keep telling yourself how LUCKY you are that you escaped an entire life with a cheating woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 bout to go out. actually feeling pretty good. wish i found this place 3 weeks ago and i would have saved myself a lot of pain Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 bout to go out. actually feeling pretty good. wish i found this place 3 weeks ago and i would have saved myself a lot of pain Do it brotha DO IT!!! Once you talk to a few ladies, and get some good vibes, you'll be good to go. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 As usual, Boogie's nailed this! Follow all the advice that he's gave you to a T! Also, the no contact is not to get her back, nothing you can say or do will do that at this point. It's to help you heal and move on with your life. It does get better and before you know it she won't even be a small thought in your mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 hey another quick question. i had a blast last night and im trying to move on. the 2 things im thinking i still need to do though is grab my **** from her place. is this a good move to sneak up there one day soon when she is working, grab my stuff and leave the key, or is it a bad move? Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 oh the other thing is, and i know its minor, but update my FBook from in a relationship to single or whatever. is that too childish or is it making a statement as all of our friends would see it. idk if it really even matters but it seems like a healthy step to moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 hey another quick question. i had a blast last night and im trying to move on. the 2 things im thinking i still need to do though is grab my **** from her place. is this a good move to sneak up there one day soon when she is working, grab my stuff and leave the key, or is it a bad move?Bad move. That's called "breaking and entering." Just tell her to put your stuff in a box and you'll be by to pick it up, or have her send it to you (but you'll have to pick up the tab). Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 well i mean i have the key, so technically i wouldnt be breaking anything. and im just pretty much grabbing some clothes. theres not too much we have together thats like shared. but i guess the box is a good idea, except then i need to contact her. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Think about it. Is it really stuff you need asap, or is it a way to validate seeing her? If you can do without those things for a while, I'd wait a bit. I think you're emotions are way to fresh, and there wont be a good outcome. If you MUST have your things now, arrange to get them in a public setting with little time to spare. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 yeah i dont need any of the stuff right now. just though it might send a message or something, but yeah ill wait. thansk Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 yeah i dont need any of the stuff right now. just though it might send a message or something, but yeah ill wait. thansk Honestly - it's comments like that that make me wonder here. Why are you so hell bent on sending a message? You're not suppose to be sending a message. You're suppose to be moving on. You come across as bitter and angry. You really need to let go. Quit trying to find reasons and ways to get her attention. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 ok. its just tough. but yer right Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Honestly - it's comments like that that make me wonder here. Why are you so hell bent on sending a message? You're not suppose to be sending a message. You're suppose to be moving on. You come across as bitter and angry. You really need to let go. Quit trying to find reasons and ways to get her attention. Shes right, if you ddont need the stuff, then youre just looking for reasons to contact her, even with a message. It shows youre not letting go, which is technically breaking NC. Dont worry about your stuff, dont worry about facebook. You def dont want to come off bitter on there, go back and have fun. Think about it this way, when you find someone new, you wont think about any of that crap. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 good stuff. im loving this place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 so just went on the ol facebook. gf defriended me and pretty much everyone i know (were having a party for my sister). havent talked to her in a week. i dont really care to much. just kinda weird i guess Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 so just went on the ol facebook. gf defriended me and pretty much everyone i know (were having a party for my sister). havent talked to her in a week. i dont really care to much. just kinda weird i guess Urgh... FB is stupid. Time to stop social networking for a while and live in the real world. Who cares what your ex does, worry about your health and focus on your interests. You have your own life. I advise you pick up your stuff in a week or two in case she gets resentful and throws them all out. Give her back her keys at the time and go on your merry way. Link to post Share on other sites
stuckinwithyou Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 she might have met someone and screwing with u Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 its weird b/c she never really uses it at all. she once got an email from the facebook people saying she didnt go on enough that being said i either think shes trying to bait me to contact her or just wants to not with drama of friends seeing all that single bs that will show up on everyones homepage. im dropn my sis off at college tomorrow and its right over there so i might pick my **** up then. still feel like i need more time though of not talking to her Link to post Share on other sites
Author NSW768 Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 im not really sad anymore. just a lil confused . moving on...but still weird Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 Sorry to hear about your situation. She is drifting away and you can feel this. It's not your imagination. She is probably not cheating. She may have considered it and feels she shouldn't be with you and thinking such thoughts. She probably does feel she needs to try something different and to have different experiences as an individual. She feels restrained by the relationship now. I know this is not what you want to hear. She obviously does love you very much but is not in love any longer or able to continue with the way things are. I don't think that you can make any difference here by changing. You are merely reacting to the fact that you are losing her. Both of you are still young and this is partly why she feels the need for freedom and change. She really doesn't want to hurt you but cannot continue either as that would be dishonest and would result in resentment and fights (which is what has been happening). The best thing you can do is to accept she is going. It is always possible that you will get back together one day when she's been out in the world and learned more about it, but it would not be a good idea to hang on to this hope. You may not feel it now, but there are alternatives out there for you too. It may seem an impossible and undesirable idea at the moment, but it is true nevertheless. You will experience a certain relief in letting her go, but no doubt it will be painful for a while. I promise you it will get better and you will look to another relationship in the future. Seek support from friends and family; you don't have to cope with this alone. Talk a lot, think a lot (this is unavoidable), see a counsellor if possible, cry as often as you need to and let this work its way out of your system. You will come through it renewed and wiser. Once again, I'm sorry it's gone this way but it's no-one's fault. People grow emotionally in different directions sometimes. It can happen slowly or quickly but I know it still hurts like hell. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 its weird b/c she never really uses it at all. she once got an email from the facebook people saying she didnt go on enough that being said i either think shes trying to bait me to contact her or just wants to not with drama of friends seeing all that single bs that will show up on everyones homepage. im dropn my sis off at college tomorrow and its right over there so i might pick my **** up then. still feel like i need more time though of not talking to her Then don't talk to her. Make sure you had contacted her beforehand so you don't end up in front of her door unannounced. Keep conversation short and don't ask her how she's doing. Quite possibly her answer would be something " I'm fun, been hanging out etc" and you'll feel sad because she's doing things without you. Get your stuf and leave. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 If you dont need the stuff, dont go get it. I know you just want a reason to see her. Leave the stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 If you dont need the stuff, dont go get it. I know you just want a reason to see her. Leave the stuff. Agreed. You said it is stuff you don't need, then don't bother with it. Breaking NC will only make moving on harder! Link to post Share on other sites
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