is this normal?

[someone79]

HI,

 

I was wondering how to intrepret this kind of things in a relationship. I dated this person for 5months and during that time, we never made any phisical contact such as hold hands, hugging or kissing. Is this a normal relationship?This is the first relationship for both of us. I am shy and there were many times that I wanted to hold his hands or hug him, etc...but I am too shy to initiate it. I am just so new at all this.

[Arabess]

I admit, 5 months is a long time to be with ANY guy without him making advancements. Since you said you are both new to this though.....maybe he isn't sure where to start or if he is ready to deal with how far it may go. I would try to talk to him about it.....or take his hand.....and see how he responds. Is it possible he only sees you as a friend? If you want to be more than a friend....you should tell him how you feel. If he doesn't feel the same way.....you can decide what to to next or post what his response was and get some opinions.

[RedneckRomeo]

it doesn't sound like a so-called 'normal' relationship - but it does sound like a 'normal' first relationship between two relatively shy people. Touch is important - very powerful communicator. Usually relationships involve a lot of touch to show in other, better ways than speaking how one feels for another. If he really likes you - he'd love to hold your hand or have you touch him - and I'm sure you feel the same. If you're both shy - you could either talk to him about it and try to get him to do something - or you could just go ahead and make the first move here - as its a relationship between two people - not a one sided thing. If you dont bring touch into the relationship - there is still a possibility to keep it going, and become closer - but it seems pretty absurd nowadays not to have touch in a relationship. Not saying you have to be all over each other - just some subtle (not too subtle) touches that show you appreciate him.

[someone579]

Hi,

(I registered and changed my user name)

 

I remember touching him two times. Once was when he was upset about something, and we were on our way back home. I tried to cheer him up by tricking him to give me his hand and told him that I'm a palm reader and I can read people's future and past. The second time was when we were shopping at an outlet and it was very cold and windy and I tried take a hold of his arm for warmth. But I didn't get any kind or respond from him indicating he liked it or anything.

 

However, I remember asking him if we were just friends or more than friends. He said more than friends. But not much of what we did indicates that we were "more than friends." Then he moved away, and now we have a long distance relationship...well not that long...it 's only 3hrs away. Anyway, I decided to be brave and told him this: " I really like you, but I dont' think we're ready yet. I want to be more than a friend to you, but I think maybe we should just be friends for now." He just said, "yeah, friends is better than nothing." Then after that things got weirded. I miss him like crazy and couldn't stop calling him. I called him almost everyday. I then also told him that I didn't really mean what I said to him about being friend and that I only said that because I knew he wasn't ready yet. And that I was willing to go at his pace.

 

Right now I don't know what the status of our relationship is. I can't seem to move on. I really misses him...or it is that I miss the idea of him?

 

I want to talk to him about this, but I don't know how to start. Maybe I should I forget about it and assume that it's over? Maybe it is over...but I'm just the only who's hanging around.

[Arabess]

Well...not being ready for 'sex' would be understandable. However, not having any sort of physical contact within 5 months of dating.....is just plain old weird!!!