Would like wife to be photo model for me - but she is reluctant

[Gerhard]

I've been with my wife for about a year and a half. I am a serious amateur photographer and would like to have her do some modeling for me.

 

Out of respect for my wife, I had dropped my pursuit of models for photo shoots when I became exclusive with her. However, I would like to continue the practice of doing modeling shoots. During our first month together, she willingly and excitedly posed as a model for modeling shoots I did. I would prefer to shoot photos exclusively of my wife, but she is now not interested. She has the body for it and her friends have even encouraged her.

 

I am now at the point where if I wish to expand the type of photography I do, I will either have to get my wife to change, or pursue other women to be models.

 

Anyone have any thoughts or ideas?

[Thaddeus]

Tell her that she can wear a mask.

 

Really.

 

Not like a Richard Nixon mask or anything, but one of those black over-the-eyes-only thingies (not sure what they're called) like one would wear at a masquerade. Something like this.

[sally4sara]

Ever consider doing shoots where the theme isn't nudity?

 

It wouldn't be the weirdest idea and requires no extra effort on your part, the subject matter options would increase.....

 

I'm not sure why it is such a problem. Maybe there is more info you could share?

[Gerhard]

Ever consider doing shoots where the theme isn't nudity?

 

It wouldn't be the weirdest idea and requires no extra effort on your part, the subject matter options would increase.....

 

I'm not sure why it is such a problem. Maybe there is more info you could share?

I'd like to do both nudes and swimsuit shots, but she is reluctant. She had a mild problem with nudes earlier, but no problem with swimsuit shots. But now she won't even do swimsuit shots. If it were a cultural or value problem, then I wouldn't think she would have done the shots at the beginning of our relationship. Or perhaps she knew at that time she'd lose me if she didn't do the shoots I wanted to do.

 

I'm thinking seriously about getting other models and/or letting my wife know that's what I'm considering. Perhaps the threat of that (which I would follow through with if I want to expand my capabilities as a photographer) would entice her.

[MSUE]

tough one but she knew walking into this relationship and marriage that photography was is a hobby and or job of yours...to me I see it as a job if she doesn't want to do it there's not much you can do ...you 2 need a sit down and meet somewhere in the middle

[sally4sara]

I'd like to do both nudes and swimsuit shots, but she is reluctant. She had a mild problem with nudes earlier, but no problem with swimsuit shots. But now she won't even do swimsuit shots. If it were a cultural or value problem, then I wouldn't think she would have done the shots at the beginning of our relationship. Or perhaps she knew at that time she'd lose me if she didn't do the shoots I wanted to do.

 

I'm thinking seriously about getting other models and/or letting my wife know that's what I'm considering. Perhaps the threat of that (which I would follow through with if I want to expand my capabilities as a photographer) would entice her.

 

Maybe I should ask differently

 

What portion of your photo shoot needs is focused on the human body? Are you in the habit of photographing anything that isn't the human body at all? Does she have a problem when your model is male? Do you ever use male models? If not - why?

 

And then you talk of giving her a threat if she doesn't model for you?

[Gerhard]

Maybe I should ask differently

 

What portion of your photo shoot needs is focused on the human body? Are you in the habit of photographing anything that isn't the human body at all? Does she have a problem when your model is male? Do you ever use male models? If not - why?

 

And then you talk of giving her a threat if she doesn't model for you?

 

sally4sara - good questions.

I haven't had any dedicated models since I've been with my wife, so I can't address the issue of the model being male. I've never used any dedicated male models and only done a handful of dedicated female shoots. Most of the modeling shoots I do are at the request of a friend who needs the photos for a portfolio or to use for an online gallery.

 

With respect to the photo shoots I want to do of the human body, there is a broad range of photo styles I wish to try. Some are 100% dedicated to the human and some merely have the human as a prop where something else is the subject.

 

I wouldn't pose it as a threat, but unfortunately it would come across that way. That is unless I didn't want to share with her I was going to do photo shoots of female models. And I prefer to be open with her.

[sally4sara]

I haven't had any dedicated models since I've been with my wife, so I can't address the issue of the model being male.

 

So you've never use a man as a model clothed or not? ONLY women.

 

Most of the modeling shoots I do are at the request of a friend who needs the photos for a portfolio or to use for an online gallery.

 

Do you get paid or do you photograph these women for free? Are you in school taking photography classes you've paid for and photographing women is the only class assignments you are asked to do?

 

Landscapes?

Architecture?

Wildlife?

not interested in any of these?

[Gerhard]

So you've never use a man as a model clothed or not? ONLY women.

As I said, not on a dedicated model shoot. Other than when I photographed my wife shortly after we first met, the only model shoots I've done - man or women have been at the model's request, as they wanted photos for a portfolio. Some were dedicated photo shoots and others were modeling type photos that were done spontaneously when I happened to be with someone. Of those type of photos, I've done men and women.

 

For practice, it doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman. But because I find women to be more photogenic and aesthetically beautiful, I prefer to photograph them. But I don't see it as fair to my wife to photograph other women. I'd rather photograph her.

 

Do you get paid or do you photograph these women for free?

I'm a serious amateur. I do the portfolio shoots for free as favors.

 

Are you in school taking photography classes you've paid for and photographing women is the only class assignments you are asked to do?

No, I'm not taking photography class.

 

Landscapes?

Architecture?

Wildlife?

not interested in any of these?

 

My primary area is travel photography (landscape, architecture and travel scenes) and I'm interested in venturing into fashion/modeling photography. I don't particularly care for wildlife photography, as wildlife is always on the move. It's kind of like fishing. You sit in one spot for too long.

[sally4sara]

Thanks for sharing the details as it gives a clearer image.

 

I think the problem is that you stated the kind of photo shoots you are wanting to do now are nudes and swimsuit shoots. These are not the only subject matter you do nor is is a business opportunity or studies obligation. She has a problem with the details not that you're in to photography.

The details are

#1.Taking nude and swimsuit photos for women who are not even paying you as a favor to them.

#2. Your wife modeled for you before and however much she was willing to do was apparently her limit.

#3.The fact that she doesn't want to anymore seems to only be resolved for you by #1 in your mind and that seems like escalating the situation rather than resolving it IMO. It doesn't sound like a wise thing to do just to take THESE pictures when you've shared that they are not the only kind of pictures you take nor are they your primary style nor are you being paid to do those kind of photos.

[Gerhard]

Thanks for sharing the details as it gives a clearer image.

 

I think the problem is that you stated the kind of photo shoots you are wanting to do now are nudes and swimsuit shoots. These are not the only subject matter you do nor is is a business opportunity or studies obligation. She has a problem with the details not that you're in to photography.

The details are

#1.Taking nude and swimsuit photos for women who are not even paying you as a favor to them.

#2. Your wife modeled for you before and however much she was willing to do was apparently her limit.

#3.The fact that she doesn't want to anymore seems to only be resolved for you by #1 in your mind and that seems like escalating the situation rather than resolving it IMO. It doesn't sound like a wise thing to do just to take THESE pictures when you've shared that they are not the only kind of pictures you take nor are they your primary style nor are you being paid to do those kind of photos.

I think we're straying off the subject matter a little. I would like to do nudes and swimsuit shots of my wife BOTH because I enjoy photographing her and because I want to get more practice with this kind of photography.

 

Her limit has most definitely changed and that is where my primary concern lies. Now if in the past she hadn't been willing to do swimsuit shots and I wanted her to do some now, it would be easier for me to accept. But she did do swimsuit shots in the past.

 

I don't quite understand your comment when you said only be resolved for you by #1 in your mind and that seems like escalating the situation rather than resolving it IMO. Can you please clarify?

 

I'm not into this for money. I do the photo shoots for free as favors to those who want photos done. I also want to expand the type of photography I'm doing and enjoy shooting photos of my wife.