Over or not over?

[georgia girl]

Therapy is a great idea and so is exercise. I have a counselor that I went to through the whole process, too. He was wonderful. He helped me realize that this wasn't my fault and that I had a right to be angry and that anger was much more motivating than sadness. Exercise is a natural antidepressant. I'm a runner, so I signed up for a half marathon that is coming up in two weeks. That motivated me (even when I didn't want to get up either) to start running consistently and my mood improved dramatically.

 

Mimi, take care of yourself. Every poster on this forum has been where you are and it sucks. Youn wonder how this happy, fulfilled person who didn't need a man to define her now doesn't know who she is without him. Gradually, you heal - even when you don't want to - and you heal even faster when you want to. The most important part of healing will come when you don't respond to your ex. It is so amazingly empowering to get a message from him and not respond. And then, when you get the next one and you haven't responded to the last? Then, you know you can do this.

 

And please don't ever accept crumbs. My feeling is that you will hear from him again and probably regularly. But he has no impetus to change his behavior if you allow him to get away with being halfway in and halfway out. So make him choose. If he chooses not to change, you win because you saved yourself a world of hurt. If he chooses to change, then you both win.

 

Go do yoga. Plan something today with your friends. Get back to the land of living, even though it's sad right now. Each time you do that, it will get easier and you will gradully get better.

 

Good luck!!!! I'm here any time!

[leap83]

Stay strong mimi!!! If it makes you feel any better, I'm doing the same thing you plan on doing. I'm right there with you.

 

Georgia Girl: I must say that your advice to mimi is incredible! I've read your posts and they gave me motivation and determination. I'm glad to hear that he came back and decided to work on the issues.

[georgia girl]

Aw shucks!

 

No contact is awesome! What it does is separate you from a very emotionally charged and sad situation. Then, you can get perspective and start making healthy decisions about you, your relationship and your ex.

 

When you go no contact, it helps you really see what it is you want from a relationship and what you will or will not give in on. It all resets the balance of power. You become equals again and that to me, is the healthiest stage from which to try a reconciliation if you both MUTUALLY decide to attempt this.

 

Finally, it's a dignity saver. As I always say, "You want them to hate to see you go but love to watch you leave!"

 

Therefore, do whatever you have to do to maintain no contact. If you need to tell yourself it's a way to get them back, do it. Just stay away from them. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Don't worry, if they really want you back, they'll make sure you can't ignore them. And if they don't, you won't care anyway.

 

Good luck.Stay strong ladies!!! You made the best choice possible!

[mimiminx]

Therapy is a great idea and so is exercise. I have a counselor that I went to through the whole process, too. He was wonderful. He helped me realize that this wasn't my fault and that I had a right to be angry and that anger was much more motivating than sadness. Exercise is a natural antidepressant. I'm a runner, so I signed up for a half marathon that is coming up in two weeks. That motivated me (even when I didn't want to get up either) to start running consistently and my mood improved dramatically.

 

Mimi, take care of yourself. Every poster on this forum has been where you are and it sucks. Youn wonder how this happy, fulfilled person who didn't need a man to define her now doesn't know who she is without him. Gradually, you heal - even when you don't want to - and you heal even faster when you want to. The most important part of healing will come when you don't respond to your ex. It is so amazingly empowering to get a message from him and not respond. And then, when you get the next one and you haven't responded to the last? Then, you know you can do this.

 

And please don't ever accept crumbs. My feeling is that you will hear from him again and probably regularly. But he has no impetus to change his behavior if you allow him to get away with being halfway in and halfway out. So make him choose. If he chooses not to change, you win because you saved yourself a world of hurt. If he chooses to change, then you both win.

 

Go do yoga. Plan something today with your friends. Get back to the land of living, even though it's sad right now. Each time you do that, it will get easier and you will gradully get better.

 

Good luck!!!! I'm here any time!

 

Thank you! Your advice is really helpful. I will not accept crumbs if I do hear from him. I agree, I was enabling him to get away with being halfway in halfway out. It is easier right now because he's so far away.. I think if he stayed in San Diego it would be too hard. Even he said that. It will be hard to ignore him but I will. I guess that will force something, whether him leaving me alone, or trying to get me back. I don't know. I just want to be happy again. going to yoga tonight after work then spending time with my best girlfriend. Thank you again.

[mimiminx]

Ok, now I am a little confused. NC is ok with me and I totally see the point of it. BUT.. I don't hate him, I don't want to close the door. Is there ever an incidence that returning his contact is ok? I guess if it's a question posed to me or something? Hopefully that makes sense. I am not going to initiate any contact, I have done a great job of that so far. If he DOES choose to contact me again, then I should just ignore everything? OUt of sight, out of mind? By not responding to him, doesn't that say to him that I have no interest anymore? (which is SO untrue). Just concerned about WHEN to break NC (if he initiates it first). Is the only way is if he let me know he had a change of heart? (I AM TELLING MYSELF THAT IS SOOO UNLIKELY, ALTHOUGH I WISH IT WAS) No other breadcrumbs, etc.??

Just a little confused as to the whole NC process. It hurts.

[TaraMaiden]

FOR ALL Answers to ALL YOUR Questions -

 

READ

 

THE

 

LINK

 

at the bottom of my post!!

 

Truly, you have to follow that down to the letter.

[mimiminx]

Got it on the NC. Thanks TaraMaiden, you're a tough cookie but you're right.

Today has been a lot better for me. My best friend came down to visit last night and stayed over. I woke up this morning feeling in control of my life. I am happy today! Life goes on.. I wish he was here with me, but my life is beautiful. I went to the beach and went in the water, studied, now going to yoga and later getting together with friends. Being with friends and family and staying busy has been the greatest thing for me.

Of course I miss him and wish he were here, but I'm OK! It makes me sad to think of him not participating in these things that used to make us so happy. I see he's been on Facebook making comments to our friends and to me, spending his Saturday night at the computer. When I logged on late last night before bed, he was on there. Poor guy. I wish he would just snap out of this and come back. However, that's not my decision nor anything I can do can influence that so I'm gonna let it go.

I'm going NC and proceeding on with my life. My friend last night told me how thin I look... that I should never let any man get to me like that! So I'm trying to eat and take care of my health. That's sooo incredibly important. I can't feel good about myself if I'm not taking care of my health. Time to cut back on the cigarettes too!

[Broseph]

It is so nice to see strangers helping eachother out!

 

Dianna, Minimix, Georgia girl, and leap you all seem like really nice people and your situations seem all so similar. Its excelant that you can use your experiences to help eachother out and the others to move forward without living false expectations.

 

For me after a week of NC we had a convo and like evryone says here really didnt accomplish anything. She sent a message to my roommaate just before wondering why I hadnt contacted her and wondering how i was doing, so iguess she was thinking of me which i expect and probably everyone here shoudl except. Anyways, our phone call started out nice but then we both got emotional again and when we were are like this there is no chance at ever being friends or reconciling. So any advice to anyone and its been said a billin times stay no conact till you get your emotions straight. ITs not like i was begging either or saying lets give it another shot, we just talked about who we discussed the break with and how she doesnt want to tell anyone even though she had done it. She told her parents but said she didnt want to discuss it. I think she is very confused with her emotions right now so I better let her be

[leap83]

Yeah. I agree. Space is what they need - space is what they get. I've done so much in the past couple of days thanks to the posters on here who helped me pick myself up and stop obsessing over this. I've changed my hairstyle, went to the beach, got an amazing tan, read a book, went for a bike ride, watched my favourite movie without having to think of him and got back to eating normally. I have also closed my Fb account because I don't want my emotions ruling over. So, drastic turns that made me feel WAY better about myself and NOW I feel normal again. Not to mention that guys started to hit on me again.

 

I've also met someone today. I'm not ready for anything right now, but he was absolutely gorgeous and intelligent, not to mention very humorous. Way to forget about the other guy. LOL. But I need time to heal and become emotionally healthy before entering anything. But damn... he was amazingly good looking. *blushes*

 

Everyone: hold in there!!! We will get through this and we will find someone who deserves us and treats us right! I'm in a way better mood now than I was for the past month and a half.

 

Broseph: NC definitively works. I did it after I came out of a 4 yr relationship. I don't know why I didn't implement NC right away with this guy - would have worked wonders. But I think I've learned my lesson. They're all VERY confused. What is there to be confused about?! Either you want to be with me or you don't. END OF STORY. There is nothing to be confused about really. Unless you have unresolved business and are being selfish by entering a new relationship until you've properly healed. Damn... I despise those people now. Phone convos definitively DON'T help. I talked with my guy for 3 hours and we just ended up messing EVERYTHING. Emotions drove us and neither one of us had our heads clear. NC will clear that up. Am I going back to him if he comes running towards me? I don't know. I will have to sit down and think about it. But for now, I'm playing the field like he's NEVER coming back. And he will need to work for a second chance if he wants it. I'm sick and tired of running after someone - they should be running after me. I'm better than that!

 

And so is everyone else in this limbo!!!! Just remember that.

[mimiminx]

It is so nice to see strangers helping eachother out!

 

Dianna, Minimix, Georgia girl, and leap you all seem like really nice people and your situations seem all so similar. Its excelant that you can use your experiences to help eachother out and the others to move forward without living false expectations.

 

For me after a week of NC we had a convo and like evryone says here really didnt accomplish anything. She sent a message to my roommaate just before wondering why I hadnt contacted her and wondering how i was doing, so iguess she was thinking of me which i expect and probably everyone here shoudl except. Anyways, our phone call started out nice but then we both got emotional again and when we were are like this there is no chance at ever being friends or reconciling. So any advice to anyone and its been said a billin times stay no conact till you get your emotions straight. ITs not like i was begging either or saying lets give it another shot, we just talked about who we discussed the break with and how she doesnt want to tell anyone even though she had done it. She told her parents but said she didnt want to discuss it. I think she is very confused with her emotions right now so I better let her be

 

Thanks Broseph- Wasn't it you that told me "Love is a stream that will run it's course?" I love that.. I've been telling myself that often lately. I agree with your NC attitude.. after he contacted me after 2 weeks after he left, my emotions were running too high to deal with it. I am happy that he called so I could understand a little more, but still.. nothing really was accomplished except me pouring my heart out and me hearing how much he loved me, etc. It is hard but most people will agree on here that when they leave you, for whatever reason, even if they are confused (which I think is stupid by the way), leave them alone and assume they aren't coming back. Let them know what life is like without you. How can a person miss you if you're still there? You gave me great advice, thank you! I feel better knowing that I am getting stronger, my life will go on without him, and that patience is a virtue and time heals.

It's funny... life is a beautiful thing... you never know what's next! If you keep that attitude, your heart will be open to whatever the future holds.

[TaraMaiden]

mimi, you have to delete his profile on FB, or at least hide it so that you don't see what he's doing.

That's as bad as letting him leave messages on your phone, or texting you.

Really, you have to wipe everything off.... all of it.

[mimiminx]

Ok, it is no longer a question of "Over or Not Over". I get it.. we are no longer together. I was doing so well yesterday... but today I have been crying nonstop.

Every day that goes by and especially when I don't hear from him (even though I wouldn't respond anyway right now) it makes me feel worse. The contact I do get from him has been consisting of Facebook comments or "likes"... nearly every day. ( I know I need to block him at some point )Last phone call was Thursday. The more time goes by the more I am worried he's slipping away from me. I know I am supposed to be "letting him go" but I am so depressed I can't seem to get any stronger. I know I am sometimes, but here I am today... lonely as ever thinking the love of my life is out having fun, forgetting all about me. Not missing me. I wonder why he isn't even attempting to contact me. He's moving on? He's trying to reject his feelings for me by creating distance? (he's a CP by the way, as I have figured out on my own and with the help of "He's Scared, She's Scared"

I can't ever imagine being able to trust him or any other man again because he was the LAST person in the entire world who I thought would hurt me or leave me. In fact, the thought of being with another man makes my stomach turn. When I have been out, it repulses me to have men look at me. (how weird is that?) I'm not flattered as I normally would be, I'm self-loathing or something. I don't feel attractive, even if people tell me otherwise. I feel horrible about myself. I've lost a lot of weight and now I've developed a bladder infection from not taking care of myself.

I keep beating myself up for him leaving, but as I and everyone else who knows us knows, it is NOT ABOUT ME. Not even about his feelings for me, since they are still running strong as far as I know, he says he loves me so much, thinks about me all the time, would love to see me and touch me, make love to me. Whatever reason he left is mainly because of his own reasons. There was no third party involved, I never and still don't think that. He's a commitment phobe, about to turn 30, loved and loves the hell out of me, but doesn't have his life together. He's in massive debt, he is unemployed, and he feels inadequate. I'm not making excuses, but it's fact.

His best friend said that he is trying to reject his feelings for me. I don't understand..

Guys, if you feel bad about yourself and feel that you cannot provide, you love a woman so much, would you break it off with her? Let's say there were some things about her that drove you a little mad but not anything insurmountable. What if you adored that woman, everyone could see it. Would your inadequate feelings about yourself drive you away and make you try and reject your feelings for her? Is this normal?

Anyway, I am in so much pain I wish I could wake up tomorrow and this would all be a dream. I wish the pain and horrible heartache I am feeling would magically lift. I've tried to stop loving him but I just can't. My feelings for him have remained the same, if not grown in this past month. I wonder sometimes if he feels the same. He said to me once that every time we have been separated (by distance only) it's made our love grow stronger. It's true!! In every case that we've been apart, our love grew deeper and deeper. Is this the case now? How can a love that grows stronger every day just stop growing? Nothing bad happened between us, there is no one else! I don't understand.

I am going to talk to a therapist this week. I really need some professional help. What drives me crazy is that he will be coming back to San Diego by December at the latest. We have many mutual friends that have been very shocked and devastated by us splitting up. All I keep thinking about is when I do see him again in the future, whenever that is. If it's going to be strained, or we will look at eachother and run to eachother and cry and hug, etc. I like to daydream. "Reunion scenarios". I am not letting go. I am trying my best to let him go, but not our love.

Over the course of our relationship our friends and family have commented that they could tell how much he loved me.. he ADORED ME!! Up until the last day. They told me that they have never seen him as happy as he was with me. How can that just disappear? Can it?

I know everything happens for a reason, and although things might be painful or unhappy at the time, later you can look back on it and be in a better place. I hope that I can get through this... I know I can.

I've done a lot of thinking since he left if this is the kind of man I want. He does have some issues that I mentioned before that are able to be somewhat easily changed, but he has fulfilled all of the qualities that I want and need in a partner. We had a very loving relationship. He made me feel incredibly loved, safe, and happy. He has his faults but he is the man I want. How sad, he doesn't want me but I want him. Does absence make the heart grow fonder? Or does time do too much? I just want him to come home. I am so unhappy without him.

I know I have to assume he's not coming back that's what everyone will tell me. If he does, we have a hell of a lot to work on and I would take it incredibly slow, months. But I can't expect that. I know for a fact that when you let go, that's when things happen. I can't let go. I keep holding on...

Some days I am ok, some days like today I feel better isolating myself and wallowing in my pity. I thought the more time went by, the more clearly you could see your relationship objectively. My feelings are just as strong. I just wonder if he's forgotten about me. I'm so sad.

Everyone, please be kind in your responses.. I can't handle any more pain.

[leap83]

Mimi: I feel your pain and I'm right there with you. Just let it all out because you have to - one day you will have to so it's better now than later. I have no answers to your questions. I'm searching for them as well. Like you, I was okay yesterday, but today I feel a bit imbalanced. I'm thinking I'm going to break again and cry because all of this happened. 2 months ago I had everything I ever wanted and now, I feel so lost. He told me that he was the happiest he's ever been when he was with me, yet he pulled away from me. And his last word were "You're beautiful and so smart." I really don't get any of it.

 

I don't want to be at home and sit around. But yet I wonder whether he'll call when he comes back like he promised he would. Or is he totally going to ditch me and forget everything that happened between us?! It hurts like hell. I'm scared to enter into a new relationship now, just like you are. I met someone 2 days ago and he's everything the other guy is not - a complete opposite in terms of physical appearance and his job, etc. I wanted to go out with him, but something didn't let me. I don't know what it is. It's definitively not my heart because my heart is broken and hurting and right now numb - no feelings whatsoever.

 

I feel your pain Mimi. I have nothing to comfort you. If I were there, I would hug you and tell you that everything is going to be okay. That we'll get through this. That life is better than this.

 

Would your inadequate feelings about yourself drive you away and make you try and reject your feelings for her? Is this normal?

Never. It's NOT normal. It's such bull****. Just like your guy, my guy likes to sulk in misery. He's not happy with his job even though he's VERY successful. He's not happy where he lives, even though his apartment has a beautiful view. He's not happy when he's happy. He indulges in drinking once or twice a week. He LOVES pain. He feels he's inadequate - like he cannot make me happy (which is not true because I was really happy with him). He will reject his feelings for me. He'll do everything to get over me and destroy a little bit of what is left. He's done it before. He'll totally forget about me and I'm always going to wake up and think what an idiot I was to fall for him.

 

Does absence make the heart grow fonder? Or does time do too much?

I'm afraid the time makes you grow apart. Unfortunately. It sucks.

 

I hope I didn't bring you down with my post. I didn't want to.

[mimiminx]

I am going to keep somewhat of a running journal here. Replies are welcome.

Today sucks. I wake up every morning thinking of him. I want to sleep so I don't have to feel the pain. I wonder why I haven't heard from him. The last time we spoke was last Thursday. Since then its been a couple of Facebook comments on his part, totally neutral. Last night I was trying to tell myself "he's moving on, he's with another woman by now, he left you, run far away..." All to make myself try and forget about him. I tried to tell myself all these things so I could just let him go. I can't. The more time goes by the more I'm starting to be sure he's gone and he's not coming back to me. He'll be coming back to San Diego, but probably not to me. He left me, there must have been a good reason at the time. You would think if he was having second thoughts I'd hear something. I can't expect anything at this point. Sometimes I want to just distract myself with another man's attention just to try and forget about him. I don't want to rebound, not interested in sex with anyone else... won't do that.

Last night I was having overwhelming sexual thoughts about him. All I could think about was being with him. I can imagine his clothes, the way he looks, the way he feels. I am still hopelessly in love with him. He told me recently that he loves me, thinks about me, would love to touch me, etc. I wish he would. I wish he would stop trying to reject his feelings for me. Whatever he's going through right now, I wish he would snap out of it.

He's still got pictures of us up on his Myspace and Facebook. His profile pic is still of us together.?? I need to let him go but I am still madly in love with him. He is the ultimate to me. I am sure he still loves me too. He told me so. So why is he not calling me? Why is he disappearing from my life?

Does he think I don't care anymore and he's trying to let me go too? Probably... at least he has respect for me and isn't harrassing me. I could look at it that way. I am still so sad. I miss him so much!

[georgia girl]

Mimmiminx,

 

I was where you were so I know how you feel. When the contact starts to slip and slip, you think, "Okay, he's going away. What in the heck can I do to get him back?" And that's usually when you think of contacting him.

 

Here's what I think about the Facebook. I couldn't "unfriend" him because I was weak. (No other excuses... I was weak.) But, I did stop posting there. I could see that he was using it as a passive way of contacting me/keeping in touch with me, and I decided I wanted more. So, I just stopped posting.

 

I am so not trying to give you false hope (and I think I am anyway), but I do think if you stop posting, he'll have to find another way to get to you. Then, if he texts and can't get to you, then he'll have to find another way. Eventually, hopefully, it will lead to him actually TALKING to you. That was one of my thresholds (of course, then I avoided talking to him... but I was a little angry at the time). I needed his voice and his presence. Not a text.

 

Good luck. Hang in there. You will get better!!!!

[Surfer Girl]

Mimi..... Your ex is most likely not over you.... Just because they don't contact you does not mean they don't think about you.... Believe me right now he is doing you a favor by not contacting you.... He may have issues that just don't get resolved over night.... The longer you go NC the more you see outside an emotional plight into a more objective view.... Just wanting to get back together because you miss someone is not going to solve the problem of why the breakup happened in the first place....

 

I understand the pain is excrutiating especially the first 3 weeks of NC.... I am 6 weeks NC and it still hurts, but it hurt alot more in the beginning. It is best for me if he does not contact me, as the temptation is to great right now and not enough time will have passed for me not to go with the emotion when I know if he ever did want me back.... I would have to go with it on a more logical explanation of why we keep breaking up, and if that person is capable of change and realizes his demise and maybe my demise as well.... how could we rectify it not to repeat the same patterns.....

[Beeotch]

There's no formula here. I ignored my ex for about three weeks (maybe more, maybe less) because I was focusing on me. I used to get so angry when he'd text me or email, because it was such a pathetic crumb that I was offended by it. And yes, he did ask me to come back, clearly, in no uncertain terms, he asked for a second chance. I told him no. All of this was not because I was playing a game. I simply wanted to get over the man. I genuinely felt that my relationship was over, there was too much "yuck" in between us and he wasn't the man I had first started dating.

 

After I told him (very nicely, by the way) that there was no longer a chance for us and I wished him well, I think reality hit him in the face. He changed then and really started putting an effort in. There was more phone calls (vs. texts, etc.) and offers of "let's do this" together. I'll be honest, I still only accept about every other one. The reason being: I now have a full life and as another poster put it, he lost his place in line and he's got to work himself into my schedule now.

 

Miniminx, please, please focus on letting him go. That helps make you stronger, happier and more able to make smart choices about your future - with or without him.

 

If he does come back, then there will be a greater balance of power and a better opportunity for your relationship to succeed because your feelings will be more in sync. (One partner won't care so much more than the other.)

 

If he doesn't, then you will have healed so much faster.

 

You have to be equals in a relationship and the only way to do it is for you to heal and move on. Then, if he comes back, you can meet him as an emotional peer. If not, my theory is that he'll bounce in and out of your life for as many times as you finally realize he's unreliable and quit taking him back.

 

Could not agree more.

[mimiminx]

Mimmiminx,

 

I was where you were so I know how you feel. When the contact starts to slip and slip, you think, "Okay, he's going away. What in the heck can I do to get him back?" And that's usually when you think of contacting him.

 

Here's what I think about the Facebook. I couldn't "unfriend" him because I was weak. (No other excuses... I was weak.) But, I did stop posting there. I could see that he was using it as a passive way of contacting me/keeping in touch with me, and I decided I wanted more. So, I just stopped posting.

 

I am so not trying to give you false hope (and I think I am anyway), but I do think if you stop posting, he'll have to find another way to get to you. Then, if he texts and can't get to you, then he'll have to find another way. Eventually, hopefully, it will lead to him actually TALKING to you. That was one of my thresholds (of course, then I avoided talking to him... but I was a little angry at the time). I needed his voice and his presence. Not a text.

 

Good luck. Hang in there. You will get better!!!!

 

I like this, Georgia Girl. So you think you ARE giving me false hope? I would love to believe what you wrote that he'll have to find another way of contacting me... I hope so. Yeah, the Facebook is his passive way of keeping in touch whatever. I post with the idea (and often fulfilled one) that he reads it and comments, etc. Im not going to delete him either. You're right.. maybe I should stop posting. The contact is starting to slip and yes, i want to get a hold of him but I won't. I spent time with a friend today, went in the ocean and feel a little better. I have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow whose specialty is relationships/breakups. I'm looking forward to getting out of my depression.

[georgia girl]

mimi

 

I think once he realizes he can't keep in touch with you via Facebook, he'll contact another way. If his alternative way of contacting you isn't good enough for you, ignore it. Eventually, they do figure out that the only "real" way to contact you is via TALKING to you. God, I hate text messages and email - especially after our breakup

[Surfer Girl]

I agree with Ga Girl.... It is so much easier to text, email, facebook, block calls.... then what happens... If they really want the relationship... they have no other choice but to come knocking on your door... call you and recognize their is no easy way to validate you .... but if they want it they will come knocking on your door.... Does not happen often... but you will then really know if they really want you....

[mimiminx]

Yeah I've gotten the texts, emails, and facebook. a few phone calls but not since last Thursday! I have been ignoring his comments. Continue to do so and don't post? is that what you're saying? Maybe he just doesn't care to have any other communication with me besides this passive BS. That's all he's giving me...

I know, that's how I'll really know if he finds another "active" way of contacting me. My fear is that won't happen. I just want to get through this. This has been the worst.

[georgia girl]

You will. Sometimes we don't want to survive this, but we do. Regardless of how it turns out, the other side is so much sweeter. Just ignore and yes, quit posting. It's your best option.

[Surfer Girl]

If it doesn't happen then you know.... If someone really wants you back they will do anything and everything to get you back.... You are worth more than emails, texts, etc.... Once you set a boundry,,,, you are in control...... He needs to know emails, texts does not constitute the reality of what a relationship is all about.... face to face.....and confronting is a much more viable way to recognize the sincerety of someone really wanting you!!!!

[mimiminx]

Thanks girls.. will do.

[mimiminx]

Shows you how much I am obsessing over this... the last time we talked was last Thursday when I "put my foot down" about his stuff, mail, phone. We talked about 10 minutes, I was friendly and light but I refrained from any emotion as much as possible. He called me "honey" and said my name several times too. I didn't use any terms of endearment, was trying really hard not to. I ended the convo by saying "maybe we'll keep in touch". ( I was trying to be cold and aloof) Now I am beating myself up over that. I said 'bye' and so did he and he was still on the line when I hung up. So now here I am thinking that maybe he took that as me moving on, over the relationship, etc. That would explain why I haven't heard from him besides those stupid Facebook "likes". I'm probably wrong here but just thought I'd vent my obsession of the moment. It's been over a month now. I am feeling him slipping away from me... maybe he feels the same although I am pining over him so much and would do anything to see him right now or talk to him. But I won't. I'm determined to ignore and NC him. Here's another question... I didn't tell him that I wouldn't be contacting him anymore. Is he just too proud to be the one to initiate it? It's really killing me that he hasn't called.