sandratee79 Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 I dated J for eight months and our relationship ended because I cheated on him with B and then started dating B. That was four months ago. During the past four months I kept in contact with J, who is madly in love with me and forgave me for cheating on me. He's tried to break me and B up because he wanted me to come back to him. B told me a few times not to talk to J anymore because he always started arguments between us. I've tried several times to sever ties with J but I always start talking to him again because I realize how much he loves me and how much he cares. I can't see myself with him right now because I have feelings for B, but somewhere down the road I think J and I could have a future. However, B has feelings for me too, he hasn't told me he loves me but he does care for me. I don't know what to do, who to be with? J doesn't want me to date B, he says it hurts him and he doesn't want to be in my life while I'm dating B, J almost killed himself because he's so hurt that I'm not with him. What am I supposed to do? Link to post Share on other sites
Jessca Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 I definately wouldn't keep dragging them both on. If J is really tore up that bad then you need to be up front with him. You either want to be with J or B. This could get messy if you don't decide something soon. Lots of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Callisto Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 Why do you have to choose either of them? If you cheated on the first guy to be with the second and now you are having feelings about first, maybe neither guy is the right one for you. Think about what you REALLY want. Link to post Share on other sites
Infusion Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 That's a very tough decision you have to make there, but I think you shouldn't have cheated on him in the beginning creating this dilemma right now. In the end it comes down to how you feel, ask yourself questions like who do you want to be with more and who deserves your love the most. Also I suggest you think about who you would be most happy with in the long run, because that can mean a lot for you in the future. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 I think when you can't chose between two people.....you don't love either one of them enough to continue in either in a "love relationship". Maybe it's best for you to back off.....do some thinking....THEN make a decision if either one of these guys are right for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sandratee79 Posted November 20, 2003 Author Share Posted November 20, 2003 thank you all for your opinions. It definitely made me think. But what if, by breaking it off with both, I potentially miss out on something great? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 20, 2003 Share Posted November 20, 2003 Drop em both and go for A Link to post Share on other sites
Goatsbreath Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 See, I dont get this. You dont even say anything about your feelings for the first guy. You just say how much he loves you and cares about you but you dont include any emotion about what you feel for him. WHY? Whats more, is how do you end up cheating on someone that you care about and supposedly love. Easy- you don't care about him and you are surely not in love with him- atleast not enough to remain faithful. Instead you persue your own selfish desires with no regards to either J or B's feelings. Whats more is that you will never be able to make a choice when you are caught in a game of comparison. You cant say well- I had two apples and now I have three, sure three is better then two but if your only comparing you lose sight of the fact that you really needed four. Stop kidding yourself and step away from the situation. Your dragging around other peoples feelings for all the wrong reason. When you are able to figure your self out and you actually know what you want in a realationship and are willing to return it in full.....step up. Until then sit down! Link to post Share on other sites
Ninja Extrordinaire Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 Amen Goat...Amen. Let em both go, cuz you have no idea what you want. Remember that your actions speak louder than words. Cheating on people causes a ton of damage, and by that creates one more person who will think twice about trusting someone they maybe should of. Link to post Share on other sites
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