brunette4u Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 So...my boyfriend and i broke up about 3 months ago after 2 years of being together. I started dating someone else, nothing serious, but we were having sex...however, my ex and I had sex only once after the break up and then again last night, with the "new guy" not knowing or having any knowledge of this. SO...last night my ex asked me about me being with other guys, after we had just had sex for the 2nd time after our breakup, I told him I dated a guy and he figured out that we had had sex and everything, and became sooo upset. He was really pissed off and said things like " well I didn't do anything with other girls..." and making me feel horrible, when HE was the one that broke up with ME and didn't want to be with me!!! It was clear that we were NOT together for these 2 months after we broke up...and that I could date other people if I wished, or so I thought. What should I say or should I just stay away from him? I am slowly getting over him, even now...I just got horny sometimes and he knows how to do it right... any suggestions??? thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Callisto Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 Having sex with an ex is never a good idea. Too many feelings there. But he should NEVER ask if you had been with other guys when you are broken up. It's NONE of his business. Link to post Share on other sites
lostforwords Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 wow id say you have a lot of soul searching to do....... cuz ultimately you will need to make the decision as to who you are wanting to be with.... its not fair to the new boyfriend nor to yourself... or the ex even for that matter...... as far as you having sex while you two were apart.. yeh you have every right to do what you want as you 2 are split up.... however i wouldnt answer his questions as you owe him nothing and you are together with another fellow... and just wondering does he know your with a new guy now?????? unless you and the ex plan on dating again its none of his business..... honesty tho is always the best policy when its pertaining to your current bf.... your ex tho..... forget it... none of his beeswax!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
crazyglue03 Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 Sex with an ex isn't a good idea at all! Especially if one of you still has feelings for the other. You were going in the right direction when you moved on and started seeing someone else. But you took a step backwards when you and the ex started sleeping together again. Break it off with the ex for good (sexually that is) otherwise someone will end up being hurt again. Having sex with an ex could possibly lead to false hope of the relationship starting up again as most sex is an act of love. So think about it. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 There are two reasons why you ought to have nothing to do with your ex for the time being: 1. He is inconsistent and clearly not able to deal rationally with you. You don't break up with someone and then want to have sex with them periodically -- sex which doesn't mean you're getting back together -- AND get angry with them for being with other people in the meantime. Don't take his inconsistencies as a sign that he's on the verge of wanting you back. It just means that he's not self-aware enough to understand what it is that he really wants, and/or not mature enough to understand that he needs to be fair in how he deals with you. He will continue to mess with your head if you stay in touch with him. 2. You haven't situated yourself in this to decide what's right for you. You shouldn't have to ask if it was OK to sleep with another guy after breaking up with your ex. You know it was. You know that you owe your ex no apologies or explanations (the other guy, maybe, since if I read you right you slept with your ex during the time that you were/are sleeping with him). You are asking what you should do, given that your ex is behaving like an egotisical, irrational jerk. Why do you think you should do anything? I think the answer to that is that you're too much under the influence of your ex, you're too hopeful that things might work out with him, etc. You are vulnerable to your ex. He is not capable of acting in your best interests. Therefore you need to steer clear of him. No matter how promising things look, no matter how much you're inclined to interpret his jealousy as a sign that he's having second thoughts about the break-up. You would be foolish to hang around in a state of anxious limbo while he makes up his mind. He may never make up his mind. And you need to have a mind of your own. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 Sounds like an adult Dr. Suess book.....HAHA! It seems to me he is trying to control you when you are with him and when you are not. You don't have to wait on his "validation or permission" on whether you can get on with your life. If you are broken up....you can do whatever you please. If he didn't want you seeing other people.....he shouldn't have broken up with you in the first place. You owe him NO apologies or explanations. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 He DOES have a right to know if you are having unprotected sex. If you had that with another guy, he sure as hell deserves to know, especially if you haven't been tested or anything. Link to post Share on other sites
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