What are you doing tonight?

[icyness]

Yea I know that's the case form personal experiance, a while back was waiting for that call and it just made things worse, the whole situation between me and my ex is so fu**ed up and now i'm just angry that he refuses to leave me alone.

 

I know this is bad, but I feel like MissRight..I want him to not leave me alone. Not saying you're lucky since it's obvious you do not want him calling you and I Know you have your reasons.

But I'd do anything for him to hound me right about now..ugh. I feel pathetic.

[Peanut9330]

Peanut, I wish I could be as strong as you.

I just sit here praying he'll call! I know that's horrible but it's true.

 

I think I need an intervention!

 

 

We all go through that at some point...When my ex and I first broke up that's how I felt as well, we got back together but it wasent the same so I left again and for a while he left me alone but now he's back and refusing to take no for an answere.

[MissRight]

Icyness, we are just alike!

[Peanut9330]

I know this is bad, but I feel like MissRight..I want him to not leave me alone. Not saying you're lucky since it's obvious you do not want him calling you and I Know you have your reasons.

But I'd do anything for him to hound me right about now..ugh. I feel pathetic.

 

 

Dont feel pathetic your human and you have feelings, you been with him for a while and its hard to just suddenly let go. It's normal to hurt and feel that way like I said I been thorugh all this with my most recent ex.

[Peanut9330]

It would be so cool if LS had instant chat would be so much easier to talk to everyone

[MissRight]

I know you're right, Peanut. I wish I didn't have to see him all the time though.

I know I'm a human and I have feelings but when you truly believe he's the one you're going to spend the rest of your life with, it's hard. It was instant with him. And he said the same things I did. He still says them. He's just too immature right now and wants to have his cake and eat it too. I know I can't make him grow up though. I just have to get over him. I pray it'll get better and I know it will.

But I also don't know how to act at work anymore. I want to make someone else help him when he comes in the office but I don't want to be cold to him and risk any chance I may have of us being together. I'm going to wait the month to contact him outside of work and maybe I won't even want to. I can only hope I won't want to.

[Serena2009]

Hey Caramel,

 

I'm sitting here tonight scanning the LS forums and am happy that I'm beyond the beginning stage of all this where I felt crushed and utterly confused. I just wanted to chill tonight and I'm hoping that when I go to bed I don't toss and turn with thoughts of him interfering with my sleep!! I'm also considering spending $2.95 so I can get a month subscription to LS and send messages privately. For some reason, I think talking on the phone to someone whose been or going through this could help me heal faster. Asychronus communication through posting on a BB has its limitations and there's some stuff that I don't think would be fair to him to post on a public BB.

[caramel c]

You're exactly right Caramel. Which is why I fear I won't really ever get to that point and even I do, I feel like it won't be truthful.

Not that I think I really have to worry about it, as it seems like I'm never going to hear from him again.

 

I'm sure you can't really predict fully how you'd react, but what do you think you would do if that happened with you Caramel?

 

He called a month after the breakup. (Its now been a little over 2 months since we broke up so this call was about a month and a week ago) He didnt call for small talk though. I'll sum it up. He said he was calling to let me know 1. he's not doing too great at all since we broke up 2. he had no other reason to break up with me other than what he told me (severe anxiety/panic/doubt - what I've renamed as commitment phobic only because he couldnt tell me WHY he was having these feelings) 3. that there is nobody else and 4. that he is seeking professional help and finally 5. to ask me to be his friend. I said no, I am not interested in a friendship. You had my help and my support and anything you wanted from me while we were together but you took me out of the equation and its not my place anymore. I told him you took something so great and beautiful and ripped it out of my hands, and now you want to offer me 25% of what I used to have, and I am not interested in that offer. He said no its not like that I wish you knew what I was going through, I wish I could make you understand. I said it sounds like you have some things to figure out and I hope you do, for yourself, its not that I dont care, I just don't want to be friends. He just kept saying I get it, I get it. He didnt argue and he didnt seem surprised. He knows I dont have any exes as friends, we'd talked about that way back. Anyway I also reminded him that he broke up with me, after all that I said after learning of his anxiety issues, I told him that its only a minor hurdle, that we can overcome this, and I will be by your side no matter what, even if you lost both of your legs I would still love you the same and never look at you differently, and after hearing all that you STILL decided your life would be better without me. He said NOO I decided that YOUR life would be better without ME. I said well, when you called me that day and said 'I cant do this' I believe you, you can't do this. So you do what you have to do, I wish you well. Then he said 'will you please just hang up on me' he sounded so bad...so I just said my goodbye and hung up. Thats pretty much it. then he's texted me a few times and I ended that by telling him to cut it out unless he has intentions of getting back together.

 

This is where I'm at now...nothing. Wow I type fast. I dont know if you've already read some of this in another thread...

[caramel c]

I'm trying to enjoy the evening at home dont feel too good, but ex wont leave me alone. It makes me so angry that after everything he did to me he actually has the balls to try to get me back, and it even makes me more mad that he thinks he has a chance, i'm not gonna take him back other than that i'm just hanging out at home.

 

See when they bug you its ANNOYING. It does make you angry! Its like WHY WHY WHY???

[icyness]

MissRight, that we are! damn those ex's lol.

 

Peanut, that would be ideal..then we could rant live rather than post by post.

 

And thanks Peanut. I guess I feel pathetic because I'm doing it to myself.

The roles have just completely switched as he pursued me like crazy at first, now I don't even exist to him, and instead of dealing with it in the best way I can, I allow myself to sink into the feeling.

[caramel c]

I spoke to him earlier tonight like an idiot after saying I wouldn't. He told me what he was doing so I know he's out at a bar. I was supposed to have plans with some friends but they all backed out. When I needed someone most. So nice.

I'm not from here, only here for a job, so it's hard being away from friends at home that would be there for me.

Problem is, I want him so bad. And he's all but said he wants something with me just not right now. Admits he has feelings for me, talks about the future with me, has a great time with me one day, then freaks out on me the next. Anyway, yesterday he told me to not speak to him for a whole month and he didn't think I could do it. If I could, we will talk about things. Well, I couldn't! I called him today...which is how I found out what he was doing tonight. I'm scared I've pushed him away forever.

And I have to see him daily at work. yep, we work together. It's 10 times harder because of that!

 

Listen you made a mistake tonight but its not too late to start again tomorrow. Don't call anymore!!! ok?

[caramel c]

Hey Caramel,

 

I'm sitting here tonight scanning the LS forums and am happy that I'm beyond the beginning stage of all this where I felt crushed and utterly confused. I just wanted to chill tonight and I'm hoping that when I go to bed I don't toss and turn with thoughts of him interfering with my sleep!! I'm also considering spending $2.95 so I can get a month subscription to LS and send messages privately. For some reason, I think talking on the phone to someone whose been or going through this could help me heal faster. Asychronus communication through posting on a BB has its limitations and there's some stuff that I don't think would be fair to him to post on a public BB.

 

Really you have to pay to send messages? Ya it would be cool if we could talk or had a chat room.

[caramel c]

Hey Caramel,

 

I'm sitting here tonight scanning the LS forums and am happy that I'm beyond the beginning stage of all this where I felt crushed and utterly confused. I just wanted to chill tonight and I'm hoping that when I go to bed I don't toss and turn with thoughts of him interfering with my sleep!! I'm also considering spending $2.95 so I can get a month subscription to LS and send messages privately. For some reason, I think talking on the phone to someone whose been or going through this could help me heal faster. Asychronus communication through posting on a BB has its limitations and there's some stuff that I don't think would be fair to him to post on a public BB.

 

Oh, about the first part - I too, have advanced from the beginning stage. I'm by no means over it or even close, but at least I am more emotionally stable and I am back to laughing and joking all the time. Inside though, crushed. It will take more time.

[MissRight]

I'm not going to! I know it pissed him off extremely. He told me I couldn't even go 12 hours. Which was true at the time. I know I can make it a month. I just know I can. I have to.

[icyness]

He called a month after the breakup. (Its now been a little over 2 months since we broke up so this call was about a month and a week ago) He didnt call for small talk though. I'll sum it up. He said he was calling to let me know 1. he's not doing too great at all since we broke up 2. he had no other reason to break up with me other than what he told me (severe anxiety/panic/doubt - what I've renamed as commitment phobic only because he couldnt tell me WHY he was having these feelings) 3. that there is nobody else and 4. that he is seeking professional help and finally 5. to ask me to be his friend. I said no, I am not interested in a friendship. You had my help and my support and anything you wanted from me while we were together but you took me out of the equation and its not my place anymore. I told him you took something so great and beautiful and ripped it out of my hands, and now you want to offer me 25% of what I used to have, and I am not interested in that offer. He said no its not like that I wish you knew what I was going through, I wish I could make you understand. I said it sounds like you have some things to figure out and I hope you do, for yourself, its not that I dont care, I just don't want to be friends. He just kept saying I get it, I get it. He didnt argue and he didnt seem surprised. He knows I dont have any exes as friends, we'd talked about that way back. Anyway I also reminded him that he broke up with me, after all that I said after learning of his anxiety issues, I told him that its only a minor hurdle, that we can overcome this, and I will be by your side no matter what, even if you lost both of your legs I would still love you the same and never look at you differently, and after hearing all that you STILL decided your life would be better without me. He said NOO I decided that YOUR life would be better without ME. I said well, when you called me that day and said 'I cant do this' I believe you, you can't do this. So you do what you have to do, I wish you well. Then he said 'will you please just hang up on me' he sounded so bad...so I just said my goodbye and hung up. Thats pretty much it. then he's texted me a few times and I ended that by telling him to cut it out unless he has intentions of getting back together.

 

This is where I'm at now...nothing. Wow I type fast. I dont know if you've already read some of this in another thread...

 

I actually didn't know any of that Caramel..wow. He put you through some stuff didn't he!?

Well you're holding up so incredibly well. That's some very up and down emotions to have to deal with.

[Peanut9330]

Lol we're just gonna have to continue ranting through the posts, I didnt know u have to pay to send private massages either I have that option and i'm not a supporting member

[MissRight]

Wow, you've really been put through the ringer by him. You're doing incredibly well though. And I can't believe you were able to stand up to him like that and not get back into something with him. Just friends even because it would have been something. I'm so scared that I'll do that again even when it's not what I want. I need to get strength from your story.

He called a month after the breakup. (Its now been a little over 2 months since we broke up so this call was about a month and a week ago) He didnt call for small talk though. I'll sum it up. He said he was calling to let me know 1. he's not doing too great at all since we broke up 2. he had no other reason to break up with me other than what he told me (severe anxiety/panic/doubt - what I've renamed as commitment phobic only because he couldnt tell me WHY he was having these feelings) 3. that there is nobody else and 4. that he is seeking professional help and finally 5. to ask me to be his friend. I said no, I am not interested in a friendship. You had my help and my support and anything you wanted from me while we were together but you took me out of the equation and its not my place anymore. I told him you took something so great and beautiful and ripped it out of my hands, and now you want to offer me 25% of what I used to have, and I am not interested in that offer. He said no its not like that I wish you knew what I was going through, I wish I could make you understand. I said it sounds like you have some things to figure out and I hope you do, for yourself, its not that I dont care, I just don't want to be friends. He just kept saying I get it, I get it. He didnt argue and he didnt seem surprised. He knows I dont have any exes as friends, we'd talked about that way back. Anyway I also reminded him that he broke up with me, after all that I said after learning of his anxiety issues, I told him that its only a minor hurdle, that we can overcome this, and I will be by your side no matter what, even if you lost both of your legs I would still love you the same and never look at you differently, and after hearing all that you STILL decided your life would be better without me. He said NOO I decided that YOUR life would be better without ME. I said well, when you called me that day and said 'I cant do this' I believe you, you can't do this. So you do what you have to do, I wish you well. Then he said 'will you please just hang up on me' he sounded so bad...so I just said my goodbye and hung up. Thats pretty much it. then he's texted me a few times and I ended that by telling him to cut it out unless he has intentions of getting back together.

 

This is where I'm at now...nothing. Wow I type fast. I dont know if you've already read some of this in another thread...

[Thaddeus]

Well, I just got back from having a bbq with a cluster of old friend and made some new ones.

 

Got two phone numbers too.

[Peanut9330]

Each and everyone of us has gone through the expariance of losing someone we truly love, Its nice that we have each other for support and I know the more you talk about it the better it gets, so its nice to have people that understand what your going through.

[caramel c]

I actually didn't know any of that Caramel..wow. He put you through some stuff didn't he!?

Well you're holding up so incredibly well. That's some very up and down emotions to have to deal with.

 

He really did. While we were together, through his actions and words he was leading me right to the altar. He brought up the subject of marriage a few times, asked me very important deep questions about it, about what I want and where I see my life, told me what he wants, he treated me likea queen. Every single time I saw him he had a gift for me. Most of them little, sometimes a card or a cd or some little trinket that made him think of me. Every time. He was wonderful to me and I thought he was the one. I thought he was the reason I stayed single till now. And then out of nowhere, he starts telling me he has doubts and he did not explain where they came from or what it was. Just doubts about us being together. I was devastated.

 

And you know what, I am learning this about myself right now. I"m not as strong as I seem. I behave like I'm the strongest person in the world, but inside I am a mess. I am damaged, no lie. I just pull it off really well I guess. I feel powerless and hurt.

[caramel c]

Well, I just got back from having a bbq with a cluster of old friend and made some new ones.

 

Got two phone numbers too.

 

oooh well thats exciting good for you

[carhill]

Well, currently, I'm drinking a beer. I just finished up making a lock bracket in the shop after my best friend called from their beach house in the middle of another project. I'm heading over tomorrow and he wanted me to fabricate the bracket so we could install it tomorrow. Got the tri-tip marinating and the ice chest out and ready for the beer. Gonna go surf fishing and look at scantily clad women.

 

Life is good. Only guilt is leaving my new cat alone for a couple of days. He's a people cat. Siamese love their people

 

Women and relationships are not a factor in my life currently. Wife (stbx) is back east going to a concert. Silence is golden...

[caramel c]

I'm not going to! I know it pissed him off extremely. He told me I couldn't even go 12 hours. Which was true at the time. I know I can make it a month. I just know I can. I have to.

 

Yes you can and you do have to. Your happiness depends on it.

[caramel c]

Each and everyone of us has gone through the expariance of losing someone we truly love, Its nice that we have each other for support and I know the more you talk about it the better it gets, so its nice to have people that understand what your going through.

 

 

You guys are awesome here, this is helping.

[Peanut9330]

He really did. While we were together, through his actions and words he was leading me right to the altar. He brought up the subject of marriage a few times, asked me very important deep questions about it, about what I want and where I see my life, told me what he wants, he treated me likea queen. Every single time I saw him he had a gift for me. Most of them little, sometimes a card or a cd or some little trinket that made him think of me. Every time. He was wonderful to me and I thought he was the one. I thought he was the reason I stayed single till now. And then out of nowhere, he starts telling me he has doubts and he did not explain where they came from or what it was. Just doubts about us being together. I was devastated.

 

And you know what, I am learning this about myself right now. I"m not as strong as I seem. I behave like I'm the strongest person in the world, but inside I am a mess. I am damaged, no lie. I just pull it off really well I guess. I feel powerless and hurt.

 

 

I know its very hard and no matter how how good our poker face is it still hurts inside. My ex when he left he didnt give me any reason he just said " I feel like you dont love me like you use to" and that was that but later on I found out there was someone else and he has been cheating on me with her for a month. Well as it turns out this girl is crazy and he learned the hard way that the grass is not alwasy greener but its too late for him on my side.