carhill Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 I feel bad for ignoring carhill...lol No worries. I understand. I'm having a blast planning my next mileage run to Singapore. We're having a 'do' there in January but I want to do some advance logistics. Eventually I'll meet a lady who likes to travel the way I do (for fun) and we'll go exploring. For now, though, it's just me and the cat on a muggy summer evening in Cali. I'm glad you all are getting the support you need. Link to post Share on other sites
Peanut9330 Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Its so nice to have you guys around just talking to everyone makes me feel so much better, I dont have an urge to contact him but he is refusing to leave me alone he calls my work my home any other number he can possibly can to try to talk to me. Sends me gifts writes letters and poems OMG he's refusing to accept the fact that I dont want to be with him anymore. I'm so sorry that all of you are hurting but just remember to stay positive enjoy life and remember that time heals all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author caramel c Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 Do u think that if he came back banging on your door doing anything and everything to get you back you would take him back or are you trying to get over him and move on? I am trying to get over him and move on because I don't think it's likely that we will get back together. I don't think it's likely that this issue of his will be resolved, or that he will be able to cope with it and be able to continue the relationship with me. But, my feelings are still there. This was true love. This was real. Everything about him before he broke up with me I adored. I have thought about this. I think if he makes some kind of grand gesture, I will listen. I will hear him out. But I don't see myself deciding right away. I might say 'I'm happy to hear you are learning how to cope with your issue and I will consider this, but I am not sure about getting back together. I will need some time. I don't have any questions for you, but if you think there is anything else I need to know feel free to tell me during this time, I am here to listen. I don't have much to say myself' He can wait. If he actually comes back and makes a REAL effort, then he will understand why I do not want to rush into any decision. Thats how I feel right now. As more time goes on without him coming back, what I said might change. What about you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author caramel c Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 No worries. I understand. I'm having a blast planning my next mileage run to Singapore. We're having a 'do' there in January but I want to do some advance logistics. Eventually I'll meet a lady who likes to travel the way I do (for fun) and we'll go exploring. For now, though, it's just me and the cat on a muggy summer evening in Cali. I'm glad you all are getting the support you need. Oh thank you, good to hear you are having a nice evening. Singapore, ooh how nice. Link to post Share on other sites
Peanut9330 Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 @caramel c -- "Our relationship was at its PEAK, we did not have any issues!" Same here!! I even said those words to him during his unexpected visit. I said: "This is not normal. Our relationship was at its peak and you sabatoged it!! People end relationships due to betrayal or irreconcilible differences not when its at its peak. I don't think you know what a normal relationship is." It's just SO frustrating!! I wonder if my guy knows how truly f'd up he is. I probably scared him off by acting as a genuine mirror that he had to look into. I can't believe he's gotten this far in life having such twisted views of relationships. I feel the same way I also wonder how my ex made it so far in life with his concepts and views on relationships, and I wonder why it took me so long to see those qualities. Was I so blindly in love or was he just hiding those aspects of his personality. Link to post Share on other sites
Author caramel c Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 No worries. I understand. I'm having a blast planning my next mileage run to Singapore. We're having a 'do' there in January but I want to do some advance logistics. Eventually I'll meet a lady who likes to travel the way I do (for fun) and we'll go exploring. For now, though, it's just me and the cat on a muggy summer evening in Cali. I'm glad you all are getting the support you need. @caramel c -- "Our relationship was at its PEAK, we did not have any issues!" Same here!! I even said those words to him during his unexpected visit. I said: "This is not normal. Our relationship was at its peak and you sabatoged it!! People end relationships due to betrayal or irreconcilible differences not when its at its peak. I don't think you know what a normal relationship is." It's just SO frustrating!! I wonder if my guy knows how truly f'd up he is. I probably scared him off by acting as a genuine mirror that he had to look into. I can't believe he's gotten this far in life having such twisted views of relationships. Its mind boggling. They are freaks of nature. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Headed to Dave and Busters shortly and then on to the Gas Lamp in Down Town San Diego. Should be fun (send me a PM if you're in the area, I can get them on my cell!) Link to post Share on other sites
Author caramel c Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 I feel the same way I also wonder how my ex made it so far in life with his concepts and views on relationships, and I wonder why it took me so long to see those qualities. Was I so blindly in love or was he just hiding those aspects of his personality. He probably didnt show any sign of this like my ex didn't. I mean he was wonderful. He had friends, a great family, successful in his career, had real responsibilities in life, was thoughtful, generous, and affectionate. He planned dates ahead of time. He would ask me on Thurday nights 'Will you be my girlfriend again this weekend?' IN FACT, the last time I saw him was the sat night before the mon morn breakup call. He planned a special night for just the two of us, made a big deal of it. And that was the last time I saw him. I want to just scream in his ear "Is THIS your idea of how to break up with someone? By planning a special night with them and never see them again?" Link to post Share on other sites
icyness Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Glad you're having fun Carhill and Caliguy! He probably didnt show any sign of this like my ex didn't. I mean he was wonderful. He had friends, a great family, successful in his career, had real responsibilities in life, was thoughtful, generous, and affectionate. He planned dates ahead of time. He would ask me on Thurday nights 'Will you be my girlfriend again this weekend?' IN FACT, the last time I saw him was the sat night before the mon morn breakup call. He planned a special night for just the two of us, made a big deal of it. And that was the last time I saw him. I want to just scream in his ear "Is THIS your idea of how to break up with someone? By planning a special night with them and never see them again?" That's terrible. Link to post Share on other sites
Peanut9330 Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 He probably didnt show any sign of this like my ex didn't. I mean he was wonderful. He had friends, a great family, successful in his career, had real responsibilities in life, was thoughtful, generous, and affectionate. He planned dates ahead of time. He would ask me on Thurday nights 'Will you be my girlfriend again this weekend?' IN FACT, the last time I saw him was the sat night before the mon morn breakup call. He planned a special night for just the two of us, made a big deal of it. And that was the last time I saw him. I want to just scream in his ear "Is THIS your idea of how to break up with someone? By planning a special night with them and never see them again?" Wow I cant beleive that he planned a special date and than called Monday morning to break up with you, that's harsh i'm starting to get a better understanding of how you feel and what your going through, and I feel for you, and we're here for you anytime your having a bad day or a hard time. It always helps to talk about it so whenever you need it just remember you have us for support and that goes out to all us!! Link to post Share on other sites
Serena2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 @Peanut -- I'm sorry you had to go through this!! Some people with CP have affairs as a way of creating emotional distance. It sounds like the girl that your guy was with is a FAR step down from you!! He sounds insecure and perhaps he didn't feel like he was good enough for you NOT because of anything you did, but because of his personal issues. Maybe being with her made him feel like a catch and being with you, he knew HE was getting the catch!! I know for myself cheating is a deal breaker for me. I would never be able to trust the person again. You're showing great strength!! You're so much better than that tool!! He's not worthy of you!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author caramel c Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 Peanut that means a lot to me!! & to serena & icy you guys too, I am so grateful for you just being here to talk & listen (or whatever you call this lol) Its funny this thread turned out like this, I didnt expect it but I feel good letting this all out. I needed to. I have been holding back for a while. I only let out my feelings during the first month or so and then just shut down. Now I feel like I can breathe. Link to post Share on other sites
icyness Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Definitely Caramel! I am so incredibly glad and thankful to be here with you guys. Not even kidding, if it weren't for the forums and knowing others are going through this, I would still be tormenting myself trying to get a hold of him and crying my eyes out. I still want to, but coming on here stops me. You all are amazing. *hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
Author caramel c Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 Too bad we all cant sit around a nice big bonfire with smore's and drink of choice right now exhanging stories!!! I would love that right now! Link to post Share on other sites
icyness Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Hell yeah! Link to post Share on other sites
Peanut9330 Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Its great how we can relate and support each other and help each other get through all this. Link to post Share on other sites
Peanut9330 Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Too bad we all cant sit around a nice big bonfire with smore's and drink of choice right now exhanging stories!!! I would love that right now! Me too that would be awesome Link to post Share on other sites
soheartbroken Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Sittin' at my brother's place, lurking on LS as ALWAYS. Truman show on in the background. Cat leaning on me for attention. Feeling miserable. Thinking about what to do with my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author caramel c Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 I'm making popcorn. Stovetop, and I will put extra butter this time. mmmm Link to post Share on other sites
Author caramel c Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 Sittin' at my brother's place, lurking on LS as ALWAYS. Truman show on in the background. Cat leaning on me for attention. Feeling miserable. Thinking about what to do with my life. Tell us about your misery if you think it will help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author caramel c Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 Coming to America is on..."Akeem and I have depleted our funds. Please send 300 million dollars immediately, as we are in dire straights. Your humble servant, Simi." lmao Link to post Share on other sites
icyness Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 SHB, We're all right here with you. It hurts, but at least we're not alone. We're all going to get through this. *hugs* Caramel, yum! I'm on like my second brownie, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Peanut9330 Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 I have to tell you guys my ex is doing this thing he calls 30 days of love in which for the next 30 days he will show me how much he loves me. So everyday I get a gift with a letter that always ends with P.S. I Love You and he did that cuz I really like that movie. However I told him i'm not taking him back and he said he dosnet care he needs to show me how much I mean to him. He told me that after the 30 days are up if my answer is still NO he will move on but he at least wants the chance. This whole thing is driving me nuts lol Link to post Share on other sites
icyness Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 I have to tell you guys my ex is doing this thing he calls 30 days of love in which for the next 30 days he will show me how much he loves me. So everyday I get a gift with a letter that always ends with P.S. I Love You and he did that cuz I really like that movie. However I told him i'm not taking him back and he said he dosnet care he needs to show me how much I mean to him. He told me that after the 30 days are up if my answer is still NO he will move on but he at least wants the chance. This whole thing is driving me nuts lol Wow Peanut! He must be kicking himself for doing what he did to you. I still wish mine was doing something like to me, lol. Ugh. Link to post Share on other sites
Author caramel c Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 I have to tell you guys my ex is doing this thing he calls 30 days of love in which for the next 30 days he will show me how much he loves me. So everyday I get a gift with a letter that always ends with P.S. I Love You and he did that cuz I really like that movie. However I told him i'm not taking him back and he said he dosnet care he needs to show me how much I mean to him. He told me that after the 30 days are up if my answer is still NO he will move on but he at least wants the chance. This whole thing is driving me nuts lol Omg now I remember reading about your story in another thread! So, which day are you on? Link to post Share on other sites
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