What's going on here???

[darby1]

I have been seeing this guy who is 10 years younger than me on and off over the past year. We get along really well. Never fight. He has his freedom and I have mine. We just spend the past 3 days together (which we've done many times), and i don't know what happened this time.. I could be just paranoid.. or over thinking.. but at some point in the middle of our adventures, he became distant and I was felling blown off one second and then not the next? It felt like he was pushing something emotional that was starting into "I care about you" but in the friend zone. Like he was making a point that he was loosing interest. At least that's how it was reading to me. He was getting nit picky with me, with little things, like correcting or judging my every move with comments that made me feel insecure. It worked, and now I am feeling like, what did I do? what happened? I am thin but not super tone, we went to the beach a lot, so I was thinking did seeing me in a bikini turn him off that much??? He is super Hot. and I am 10 years older than him, i can't compete with the body of a 21 year old. Or was I becoming annoying to him because I became very speechless from the eruption of insecurity. I hated the feeling, but what happened?? He clarified to me on day 2 that I am one of the girls who come along he would have a child with.. i said that is unrealistic because of our age difference, he said he didn't care about that, then I heard him say under his breath "your afraid of intimacy". well.... I don't think its wise to fall in love with him. But I don't trust myself not to if I were to get too intimate, so yes.. in that sense I am afraid. So as you can gather, I am in a whirlwind of wonder?? what happened? I just want us back to the way we are best and this uncomfortable insecurity of over thinking kills it. I don't want to be this girl... I don't want him to see me as an annoying girlfriend.. for example he said he might go to mexico for 3 months, I said no your not because he has too much going on here right now and he said I'll do what I want.. well, of course, go do what you want.. just sayin'. but it was a lil snappy. I have not voiced any of my feeling about this to him because I don't want to scare him off and run, but I was growing very ready to snap any second and say "what is wrong with you? what?" did I do something? I wasn't feelin the love. I hate this. what happened? I don't want to loose him. oh ****.. did i fall in love and it's reading obvious and now I am just lost between emotion and smarts? oh no. any perspectives of what's going on here. I clearly need it spelled out.