Weird cheating situation

[nomade30]

Hello, I signed up for this forum to get complete outsiders opinion on what I should do.

 

When we were younger we went through some drug problems, which caused emotional problems, we eventually had to stop talking to each other because we could not be trust by our parents.

 

Well after some trust building, her parents finally started to trust me to take her on dates about 2 years ago. Things moved pretty fast.

 

This is my second serious relationship, my last one ended because I cheated on my girlfriend while on a lot of drugs, I don't really remember what happened, but my friend witnessed it. I told her, and she left me, I knew it was my fault, tried to work it out, but she didn't want to.

 

Now the current girlfriend, that I truly do love and could see myself spending the rest of my life with, cheated on me.

 

She has moved to a farm town to go to a college. I was visiting her yesterday, everything seem fine. This guy sent her a text message, saying he had some alcohol if she was interested. I got upset and told her to not talk to this boy, she agreed and didn't reply.

 

Well I left and went home. I wake up at 3am in the morning to my phone ringing. Answer it, she is beyond drunk, takes her about 5 times to tell me what really happened.

 

Well apparently she went behind my back and said she was gonna take a nap and instead went to this party. She happen to get some alcohol some how.

 

She takes welbutrin everyday, and I know how she is when she gets drunk, it doesn't take much to make her very very intoxicated.

 

She stated she ended up having sex with two guys last night, one of them being the one that sent her the text message.

 

Today I talked to her about it, she sounds very guilty, she is willing to move around any rules I set. So far I have told her STD test before any sexual interaction, stop talking to everyone in that group of guys, and absolutely no alcohol.

 

She agreed to my ground rules, since she lives two hours away, it's hard to visit her.

 

Now here's the major twist. She is a chronic liar, I know this and am fully aware of what I am getting into with her.

 

My mind is torn between two thoughts, she is telling the truth and really did cheat and is willing to work it out with me. Second is she is testing me to see if I really am in love with her or not.

 

Apparently the only people that witnessed this is her and the two boys. Also I'm a pretty small guy compared to these guys, so confronting these guys is pretty scary to me.

 

I think that without alcohol I can completely trust her, but as soon as that alcohol touches her tongue, she turns into another person.

 

Looking for outside advice, I know none of you so general advice would be great.

 

Thanks.

[Enema]

I'd cut my losses and move on. Doesn't seem like she's ready for a real relationship and I suspect she'll do this again.

 

I don't think you should be with someone you need to create rules for so they don't cheat. If she really cares about you and is right for you, she'd just know.

[BWEG43]

Now here's the major twist. She is a chronic liar, I know this and am fully aware of what I am getting into with her.

 

Liers never stop, move on and let her go, find a new chick it will help you move on, I just got screwed over by my wife, and let me tell you, moving on is the best remedy and this site helps too!!

[nomade30]

Well here's a little bit of an update. I found a witness that was at the same party, unknown to her, he's one of my buddies from high school, he messaged me because he saw my girlfriend. He states that it was more of they got her really ****ing drunk and pretty much took full advantage of her.

 

I haven't told her about what this kid told me. I asked if she knew him because he was going to the same college, she said she doesn't have a clue. From what I heard from this friend of mine, this is starting to look more like a rape situation.

 

The guys that she had sex with have been avoiding her, she wants to talk to them and make sure they used a condom and to tell them never to talk to her again. But she states that every time she gets near them, they run. I honestly do believe her, she has told her parents about it, which is abnormally weird, she would usually not tell her because of the alcohol involved.

 

I have been on welbutrin before and when you mix alcohol with it, you get really drunk really easily, there has been many black out moments when I mixed it.

 

I know it sounds like I'm arguing my thoughts, but I'm not looking to leave her, I'm looking to work things out. I want to know if this cheating was caused by something I did or something I lack or if she was adventuring or if she was plain out drunk as **** and couldn't tell what up is down.

[lostsunsets]

Run away. She is a cheater. Did you ever think she could be telling you this to see if you would let her cheat and not dump her in the future.

[Chrome Barracuda]

if she couldnt handle her liquor why did she get drunk in the first place?

 

Dude she's an acholic and a chronic liar. dude those are the worst mixes you can ever have for a person.

[Thaddeus]

Let's get this straight:

 

She's an alcoholic

 

She's a chronic liar.

 

There are probably other issues that haven't been mentioned.

 

Now, why again do you want to be with this woman? Seriously...

[Lucky_One]

At your ages, and being 2 hours apart, and her having a drinking and drug problem, and her being a chronic liar, and her having the ready-made excuse of "I blacked out", you will never be able to trust her.

 

You are going to spend every night and every day of the time that you stay involved with her wondering and watching and questioning and prying and seeking out watchdogs for her behavior. That is unhealthy for you - and for her.

 

Her parents need to step up to the plate here, IMHO. She OBVIOUSLY can't handle being on her own in a college situation. They need to go pick her up from school, bring her home, cut her money off, make an appt with her primary care doc, make her an appt with a therapist, and get her hooked up with a local community college.

 

You are trying to parent her. She has parents already. They need to do THEIR job - not you.

[Spectre]

Well here's a little bit of an update. I found a witness that was at the same party, unknown to her, he's one of my buddies from high school, he messaged me because he saw my girlfriend. He states that it was more of they got her really ****ing drunk and pretty much took full advantage of her.

 

I haven't told her about what this kid told me. I asked if she knew him because he was going to the same college, she said she doesn't have a clue. From what I heard from this friend of mine, this is starting to look more like a rape situation.

 

The guys that she had sex with have been avoiding her, she wants to talk to them and make sure they used a condom and to tell them never to talk to her again. But she states that every time she gets near them, they run. I honestly do believe her, she has told her parents about it, which is abnormally weird, she would usually not tell her because of the alcohol involved.

 

I have been on welbutrin before and when you mix alcohol with it, you get really drunk really easily, there has been many black out moments when I mixed it.

 

I know it sounds like I'm arguing my thoughts, but I'm not looking to leave her, I'm looking to work things out. I want to know if this cheating was caused by something I did or something I lack or if she was adventuring or if she was plain out drunk as **** and couldn't tell what up is down.

 

I think you're brainwashing yourself into thinking she didn't consciously cheat on you. I mean come on, she cheated on you twice in one night. She also mentioned nothing to you about being raped or pressured or anything. If she had enough memory of the event to tell you what happened and who it happened with, she definitely would of remembered whether it had been rape or not.

 

Also let's consider something else. For arguments sake we will just forget about the whole cheating scenario. This girl also lied to you and decided to go get wasted at a party, and to hang out with a guy she had just told you earlier that day she would stay away from. That right there already tells you the type of person she is.

 

I'd suggest just letting her go. In the end, she's not worth it. Given she is a chronic liar you'll never really be able to trust her again. Also don't blame her situation on the liquor, she willingly lied to you and went to that party, and willingly was around that guy she said she would stay away from.

 

To make it even worse, you guys are in a LDR and it's not like she cheated after you had been apart for a long time, this girl cheated on you within hours of seeing you. I'd really suggest just dumping her. Oh and one more thing..there is no use racking your brain asking why she did what she did. Some girls are just whores for no particular reason.