Snugglepuss Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 I met him when I was 20 years old. I am now 24. Last night, a sequence of events have altered my perception of the last 4 years of my life with him. This is going to be a long one, folks. I broke up with him 9 months ago, but we never really broke up because we would still see each other and be intimate quite frequently. And just a couple days before, I had officially called it quits. I was heartbroken and devastated and decided to go out with my girlfriends last night. I didn't have fun. The entire night I kept questioning whether or not I made the right decision. Then, by the end of the night I received my answer from above. As fate would have it, I ran into a male co-worker of his whom I've only met a couple of times and never really spoke to. He told me that he's glad I left him because he is known as a "playboy" around the gym where he trains. This messenger told me that to his knowledge, he slept with at least 6 different women, a few he actually trains and he brags about it at work. As you can imagine, I broke down right in front of him. This came as such a shock to me because I didn't want to believe the stereotypes about trainers and their trainees. Also, he wasn't a personal trainer when we first met. But 6 different women! WOW, that is beyond me. I asked myself all of the appropriate questions. How could he have done this to me? Why did he do it? How could I have been so oblivious? How long has this been going on? He is good. He always had the answers to everything and he still had time to be attentive and "loving" towards me. How did he carry on like this? Does he have a sex addiction? I don't want to believe that he has been this way even before we "broke up". I don't know how to make sense of things. I feel like the entire relationship was a complete lie. I am 100% done with him. He texted and called me repeatedly today. It is gratifying to know that I am strong enough not to give in to temptation and respond back or answer. However, I am quite sure one day he will pop up somewhere like outside my work and try to talk to me. He does not know that I spoke with his co-worker and that I know about him whoring around. In fact, he doesn't really even know why I ended things. I must go through this arduous grieving process. Sadly, I've been through all of this before with another past boyfriend. I dread going through the emotional and physical pain, but I know I will recover in due time. Link to post Share on other sites
mylovelywife Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 Ouch! Babe, stay away. I went through it. I'm going to post it up in a second. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snugglepuss Posted August 31, 2009 Author Share Posted August 31, 2009 My girlfriend suggested that I let him know the reason why I finally split. He was texting and calling me all through the night until 6 in the morning! She said I should at least give him some peace knowing why because I would want the same thing if I were in his position. However, I do not feel I even owe him that much. I will let him wallow away in his misery. I am 100% committed to no communication. Funny, right this second I just received another text message. He even texted me that he wants to get back together and make this right. Even if we were "broken up" when all of this whoring around took place, how could I ever trust someone like that especially someone who is in that kind of profession? It's like he's a male prostitute to these married wives. It's disgusting. Let's say he quit his job, I know that maybe 5 years down the line, it will happen again. I think I've done enough convincing myself. Maybe I need reassurance that's why I'm on here. Link to post Share on other sites
smookie Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 My girlfriend suggested that I let him know the reason why I finally split. He was texting and calling me all through the night until 6 in the morning! She said I should at least give him some peace knowing why because I would want the same thing if I were in his position. However, I do not feel I even owe him that much. I will let him wallow away in his misery. I am 100% committed to no communication. Funny, right this second I just received another text message. He even texted me that he wants to get back together and make this right. Even if we were "broken up" when all of this whoring around took place, how could I ever trust someone like that especially someone who is in that kind of profession? It's like he's a male prostitute to these married wives. It's disgusting. Let's say he quit his job, I know that maybe 5 years down the line, it will happen again. I think I've done enough convincing myself. Maybe I need reassurance that's why I'm on here. Do not go back. Your better then that, I have been though this pain and I know how damaging it can and will be if you allow yourself to stay with him. The trust really you will never have, You will always be looking for clues that it is still happening. I went through it for 7 years and I will not go back. it hurts like nothing I have ever felt because I am use to it. But within time I know I will feel better .... and thats weird he just called me ... Freeky. We are strong and every day that goes by you get stronger and stronger. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 You were pretty quick to take the word of another male personal trainer at a party, about how bad your ex-bf is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snugglepuss Posted August 31, 2009 Author Share Posted August 31, 2009 I felt like the other trainer was being honest and didn't have an ulterior motive. He had a girlfriend and he told me he has wanted to tell me since he has seen me before at the gym and I guess that night was the opportune moment. Also, my ex was recently receiving threatening calls from the husband of one of the women he trained, but he told me it was not true and he was calling everyone in her phonebook and she was a "fat older housewife". Of course, living in oblivion and denial, I believed him. It's funny how it all makes sense when you think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 I think the trainer thing is either a misconception on your part pr a stereotypical view that is not altogether true. Certain men are prone to cheating far more than others, and your ex just happens to fall in with the rest of the cheaters. That aside, I'm sorry that this happened to you. But situations like this would only make you stronger in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snugglepuss Posted August 31, 2009 Author Share Posted August 31, 2009 Yes, I know that not all personal trainers are this way. However, it just reaffirmed my suspicions and the generalizations that I know of. He is a horny bastard to say the least. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 Yes, I know that not all personal trainers are this way. However, it just reaffirmed my suspicions and the generalizations that I know of. He is a horny bastard to say the least. Understandable. Although from what I've perceived on my own, I would think (male) trainers are more vain in terms of their body. But I've also seen how many of them only use being fit and muscle bound as an excuse to attract and pick up woman. Link to post Share on other sites
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