After a year, I now have issues with the situation.

[DrivenD]

My GF and I are each others firsts for everything mostly, we've been going out 2 years. My family, friends, as well as hers all feel our vibe and agree we're good together and our love is strong at such an early stage.

 

We were together for 9 months before she went off to college 150 miles away. Then about around our year anniversary she was drinking at a party and kissed another guy.

 

She knew the girl who I had previously dated, and everyone considered the previous girl, a girl who slept around frequently. I never knew of her past and found out the hard way as she had another BF at the same time as me, then stirring up trouble to watch us fight over her. It ended badly and there is much more craziness that went on then most of you all could fathom. The girl before her, slept with about 4 or 5 of my friends, (those ppl I do not consider friends anymore) anyways, long story short, my GF knows I have issues with trusting girls.

 

She promises me before leaving school, she wont do anything. Now, after our 1 year, she starts talking about being young and wanting to experience other things and ppl. It sounded like random crazy talk for out of the blue conversation; something led me to believe that something had happened. I dug and dug and she eventually tells me she kissed another guy. She dragged it on for 6 days, telling me someone tried to kiss her, then they almost did, then someone did, then she didn't want too, then she did, it was only a 3 second kiss, and now last night she tells me there was tongue involved and it was a long 15 seconds kiss… 15 seconds, is long that’s like how long our kisses are during our times of making love, and just going crazy about each other…so I was hurt, especially after all I've done and the commuting up north to go see her with only 1 day off each week. I was angry, I occasionally felt hurt but neglected to really deal with the issue ever.

 

Now, about a year later from the incident(2 days ago) I go to see her at a party that was completely out of my way because she wanted me to come. So I did, rolled out of bed @ midnight and headed over. Her gay friend begins rambling about how lucky I am because every guy was trying to get after my girl, and I ignored him and just thought "whatever, he just needs to shut up" Then, he goes on about how cute these guys were and my gf agrees one of them was cute as I asked her if she thought he was. I have nothing against gay men, but it does appear that the ones I've met are very outspoken and very opinionated and definitely dont know when to shut it.

 

Then, she comes over to spend the night(same night)...i wake up from a dream of her cheating on me and I wasn't so sure if it was fake or not, I had to think about it several times while I was laying in bed awake.

 

I had a rush of thoughts about her being a cheat and me not trusting her.

 

The way I look at cheating is when a person does it, it says to me "F*** <my name here>, it says all my efforts meant crap and don’t add up to anything.

 

My gf is fairly good looking, exotic mix. I find her beautiful. I consider myself a decent looking man. I’ve encountered possible situations but reluctantly pushed myself away as I love her so much, and really nothing compares to her 99% of the time.

 

Last night, we spoke about it and due to the fact that now she is getting an apartment with her friends this semester, she will have her own room and be throwing parties, I DO NOT TRUST HER OR LIKE THIS ONE BIT cause now a kiss and can turn into a few steps towards her bedroom and her pants on the floor. She also told me last night she kissed him because "I wanted to see what it felt like to kiss another person". I told her it was straight out selfish because I could of done the same thing and I told her with who and now she began to act jealous and felt the way I felt I think.

 

Also, during last night’s convo, I asked for his name too look on face book, she was hesitant to give me his last name, I explained I deserved to see what made you say what the hell with me and our relationship. She ended up giving it to me, and I see a glimpse of him through my phone and I was a bit taken by it, I give credit to one if he deserves it but this guy comes off to me as less qualified then I am, I know it’s not good to say "who is better” or feel I am better as I don’t know the person, but its my mentality, and im a guy.

 

I give my GF the freedom to go to clubs, parties and dance her ass off, I know in the end she comes home to me and its ok. I'll dance with a girl if im out with my friends. Im just accepting of the thought, and i dont think relationships work on controlling them in that sense.

 

I feel like a whimp, or whipped BF if I go to see her and this guy sees us together, as some guys would say something to the sound of “I got your girl before, I can do it again” Its embarrassing for me, and makes me look bad as well.

 

I just don’t know what to do, she wants to earn my trust, but im the type that either wants you alive, or prefers you dead and im on the fence with my emotions. My father has told me, it will probably happen again but I will never know of it because of the way I reacted the first time, its inevitable.

I do give her props for telling me, but also I had to dig for it.

We’re supposed to run off to San diego for a few days as I wanted to surprise her because we’ve both never been…I dont really know if I want to go anymore...

 

I feel lost in what direction to go with this, I really, really love her, and I know she really, really loves me. I told her last night, if I have to get dragged through more BS such as you cheating on me again so be it, but then at the same time I want to leave her as it’s not worth the mental stress it puts on me.

I think I really have felt the difference between love and infatuation. I think of her while I’m working staring at a wall at my desk laughing to things she says, or while I cook, I sing a song I made up one day for her rhyming her name… I always picture her smiling or laughing, and the way her cheek feels when I hold her face and kiss her… shes a petite girl and I always sweep her off her feet to where ever we go, im torn inside because girls have proven heartless to me countless times, and even after 2 years, the most non-threatening, normal yet amazing women I’ve met can hurt me as its only a matter of time…Last night when she kissed me goodnight, I kind of moved and took a cheek shot instead of a lipper. Even then, I felt disgusted

 

 

I feel like I would have to cheat with someone else to feel better about the situation but i know that wouldn't be right..

 

just kind of lost... any input is appreciated

[Javelin]

My GF and I are each others firsts for everything mostly, we've been going out 2 years. My family, friends, as well as hers all feel our vibe and agree we're good together and our love is strong at such an early stage.

 

We were together for 9 months before she went off to college 150 miles away. Then about around our year anniversary she was drinking at a party and kissed another guy.

 

She knew the girl who I had previously dated, and everyone considered the previous girl, a girl who slept around frequently. I never knew of her past and found out the hard way as she had another BF at the same time as me, then stirring up trouble to watch us fight over her. It ended badly and there is much more craziness that went on then most of you all could fathom. The girl before her, slept with about 4 or 5 of my friends, (those ppl I do not consider friends anymore) anyways, long story short, my GF knows I have issues with trusting girls.

 

She promises me before leaving school, she wont do anything. Now, after our 1 year, she starts talking about being young and wanting to experience other things and ppl. It sounded like random crazy talk for out of the blue conversation; something led me to believe that something had happened. I dug and dug and she eventually tells me she kissed another guy. She dragged it on for 6 days, telling me someone tried to kiss her, then they almost did, then someone did, then she didn't want too, then she did, it was only a 3 second kiss, and now last night she tells me there was tongue involved and it was a long 15 seconds kiss… 15 seconds, is long that’s like how long our kisses are during our times of making love, and just going crazy about each other…so I was hurt, especially after all I've done and the commuting up north to go see her with only 1 day off each week. I was angry, I occasionally felt hurt but neglected to really deal with the issue ever.

 

Now, about a year later from the incident(2 days ago) I go to see her at a party that was completely out of my way because she wanted me to come. So I did, rolled out of bed @ midnight and headed over. Her gay friend begins rambling about how lucky I am because every guy was trying to get after my girl, and I ignored him and just thought "whatever, he just needs to shut up" Then, he goes on about how cute these guys were and my gf agrees one of them was cute as I asked her if she thought he was. I have nothing against gay men, but it does appear that the ones I've met are very outspoken and very opinionated and definitely dont know when to shut it.

 

Then, she comes over to spend the night(same night)...i wake up from a dream of her cheating on me and I wasn't so sure if it was fake or not, I had to think about it several times while I was laying in bed awake.

 

I had a rush of thoughts about her being a cheat and me not trusting her.

 

The way I look at cheating is when a person does it, it says to me "F*** <my name here>, it says all my efforts meant crap and don’t add up to anything.

 

My gf is fairly good looking, exotic mix. I find her beautiful. I consider myself a decent looking man. I’ve encountered possible situations but reluctantly pushed myself away as I love her so much, and really nothing compares to her 99% of the time.

 

Last night, we spoke about it and due to the fact that now she is getting an apartment with her friends this semester, she will have her own room and be throwing parties, I DO NOT TRUST HER OR LIKE THIS ONE BIT cause now a kiss and can turn into a few steps towards her bedroom and her pants on the floor. She also told me last night she kissed him because "I wanted to see what it felt like to kiss another person". I told her it was straight out selfish because I could of done the same thing and I told her with who and now she began to act jealous and felt the way I felt I think.

 

Also, during last night’s convo, I asked for his name too look on face book, she was hesitant to give me his last name, I explained I deserved to see what made you say what the hell with me and our relationship. She ended up giving it to me, and I see a glimpse of him through my phone and I was a bit taken by it, I give credit to one if he deserves it but this guy comes off to me as less qualified then I am, I know it’s not good to say "who is better” or feel I am better as I don’t know the person, but its my mentality, and im a guy.

 

I give my GF the freedom to go to clubs, parties and dance her ass off, I know in the end she comes home to me and its ok. I'll dance with a girl if im out with my friends. Im just accepting of the thought, and i dont think relationships work on controlling them in that sense.

 

I feel like a whimp, or whipped BF if I go to see her and this guy sees us together, as some guys would say something to the sound of “I got your girl before, I can do it again” Its embarrassing for me, and makes me look bad as well.

 

I just don’t know what to do, she wants to earn my trust, but im the type that either wants you alive, or prefers you dead and im on the fence with my emotions. My father has told me, it will probably happen again but I will never know of it because of the way I reacted the first time, its inevitable.

I do give her props for telling me, but also I had to dig for it.

We’re supposed to run off to San diego for a few days as I wanted to surprise her because we’ve both never been…I dont really know if I want to go anymore...

 

I feel lost in what direction to go with this, I really, really love her, and I know she really, really loves me. I told her last night, if I have to get dragged through more BS such as you cheating on me again so be it, but then at the same time I want to leave her as it’s not worth the mental stress it puts on me.

I think I really have felt the difference between love and infatuation. I think of her while I’m working staring at a wall at my desk laughing to things she says, or while I cook, I sing a song I made up one day for her rhyming her name… I always picture her smiling or laughing, and the way her cheek feels when I hold her face and kiss her… shes a petite girl and I always sweep her off her feet to where ever we go, im torn inside because girls have proven heartless to me countless times, and even after 2 years, the most non-threatening, normal yet amazing women I’ve met can hurt me as its only a matter of time…Last night when she kissed me goodnight, I kind of moved and took a cheek shot instead of a lipper. Even then, I felt disgusted

 

 

I feel like I would have to cheat with someone else to feel better about the situation but i know that wouldn't be right..

 

just kind of lost... any input is appreciated

 

You're in for a long ride my friend... You might as well get off now while it's just, 'a kiss.'

[Enema]

she was drinking at a party and kissed another guy.

 

Now, after our 1 year, she starts talking about being young and wanting to experience other things and ppl.

 

I DO NOT TRUST HER OR LIKE THIS ONE BIT

 

"I wanted to see what it felt like to kiss another person".

 

My father has told me, it will probably happen again ....

 

Just the important bits snipped out.

 

She's doing the typical young thing and I don't think she can be faithful right now.

 

The writing is on the wall with this relationship, it's up to you if you want to read it.

[DrivenD]

I REALLY hate those responses, but I know you guys stand correct.

 

I've grown from someone who never called her back, made her wait, lagged on dates or just hanging out, or made her last priority(this was during the first 3 months)...but she was well aware of the situation and me needing time to adjust to the relationship. Now, shes all I think about, our love is pretty strong I think, and we're that crazy quirky couple that no one gets... but people see our magic.

 

She told me yesterday "What we have is special and if we were to lose it now, it'd break my heart". I am at a lost for words when she says stuff like that. I'm holding the leash a bit tighter now so to speak. I normally, dont ever control the women involved in my life, I still wont but i'm sure I can lay some guidelines that will possibly work for me.

 

We've talked about wanting the same things out of life, and now once a scared topic for both of us, we discuss marriage, and plan out our life...

 

we have this crazy idea once shes out of school, she'll come back home and we'll live together like Benjamin Button and his lady. (mattress on the floor, no furniture, and only the company of each other)

 

She usually cries when shes at school over the phone to me about missing me...I've done a litle tearing up myself(weird times). I've made a CD for her with all of the songs that remind me of us or her, she hasn't received it yet, but I look forward to giving it to her, its just so she can listen to it when ever possible, she'll know sme of the songs...so it'll be special.

 

 

Anyways, her and I are taking off today to San Diego till Friday night, I reserved a NICE hotel room for a couple days. We've both never been...Im stoked. We're going before she heads back out to school.