Ever had extreme chemistry with another person whilst in a relationship?

[Soul Bear]

Bear with me here.....

I ask because I met someone a few weeks ago....as soon as our eyes met we clicked and there was some major chemistry going on....extreme chemistry!

I've been sitting on this for about 12 days now and finally decided to spill it to everyone.

She is 22, I'm 24.

 

She was flyering for her performance and handed me a flyer, I told her I couldn't make it but that she was really pretty and had a nice vibe so I would stay and chat for a while....

5 hours we talked for...right there on the spot, in the street.

 

After an hour I asked her if she had a BF as she had not said a peep....she said she did but did not seem at all enthusiastic about him.

 

I thought that was fine as I was not being a sleaze or anything like that and was quite happy talking to her as a new aquaintance, I continued to be myself....she was a knockout, very clever, musical etc. Had loads in common and others aspects were a complete opposite.

I could feel and see the chemistry between us both was just immense and I know she did too.

 

So anyway, I asked her if she was on Facebook and she yes, and she also asked for my number. I gave it to her and didn't ask for hers (she has a bf, it would be wrong of me ) and casually made my way home.

 

Low and behold, I get a call 4 hours later at midnight. She says she just finished her show and asked if I wanted to meet up for a drink. I obliged...at midnight.

She was sitting in the coffee place drinking hot chocolate. We chatted for half an hour and then went of to a club.

 

I went up to the bar, and it turns out she doesn't drink alcohol, or very seldomly and she just had a coke.

The cloakroom was shut, there was a big black curtain hiding the entrance to it. She went and put her bag in there anyway and came back and talked to me for another hour. We were both sober the whole night.

THEN...she asked if she could borrow the light from my phone to check on her bag, I didn't think anything of it and proceeded to the cloakroom entrance, gave her the phone and she went in, came back 20 seconds later and pulled me in, grabbed my face and kissed me more passionately than I have ever been kissed.

I was a bit taken a back to say the least.

 

I knew it was wrong, but the chemistry took over between us. You could almost see the sparks flying between us all day, and I could feel something really incredible that I have only ever felt with 2 other people in my life, and no, one of them is not not my ex fiance. That took time to feel that for her.

I know she could feel it too...obviously so after making out with me.

 

We made out in that cloakroom for about an hour.

She stopped after 10 mins and said ' I have never cheated before, I feel so bad, please don't think this is what i'm like'

I believe her, so you are just going to have to trust my judgment on this.

Then she grabbed me again and we kissed so passionately and tenderly, and the explosive chemistry just made it all feel so right....

 

I never had sex with her, nor did I touch her vagigi, but she did take her bra off under her T-shirt....

 

She said she should go, so I walked her to the taxi rank where she grabbed me and kissed me again. I could'nt decline.

 

We went our seperate ways and I bumped into her randomly the next day. She was feeling so guilty and didn't want to talk about it, understandably, so I just brushed it off.

 

The chemistry was still there, but I could tell she was beating herself up big time over it.

 

I asked her later that evening if she wanted to go for a coffee and hang out ( i know, I should't have) but THANK GOD she declined and said she should't as she 'didn't trust herself'....it also made me happy to know that she felt remorse for what she had done and was not willing to put herself into that position again whilst she was in a relationship.

 

 

3 days later, I bump into her AGAIN...

She was standing there and seemed a bit weird, ( i was juggelling my devil sticks on the street) and asked her to come over. She said her bf(20) was over there, and that he would be mad if he saw her talking to another guy when obviously we were attracted to each other on a deep level.

I told her how nice it was to meet her and that I hope our paths cross again some day. She said that she has my number, and she is sure she will be back in *********(place in scotland) again soon....we walked away from each other.

 

Now i'm left feeling confused as hell, a bit guilty for being a cheatee, and saddened that someone who I share such an explosive chemistry with is gone.

As for how she is thinking and feeling I can only imagine, and i'm sure it's not good and pretty confused too.

 

I know what I did was wrong,I know what she did was wrong, but there was something there between us that was just intoxicating. I did not make ANY moves or sound suggestive at all, it was all her discression.

 

 

I have not ctacted her nor will I. I know she is back in London now anyway.

Can anything good come out of this?

The main focus here is the chemistry.....seriously, wow, it was just amazing. She is pretty much everything I would look for in a woman.

 

I am happy being single and have been approached by loads of pretty women since the end of my last relationship of 5 years. I declined all the time, partly to boost my ego as since my ex left I started to feel like I was a prize and It would take a load to win me- and when she did, she would blow me away and put my ex to shame too.

I never even thought anyone could make me feel this way. I'm not saying I want to jump into a relationship with this lady, but i'm intrigued as to what was there between us.

It's 4am, i'm waffeling. Time for bed

Please don't scold me

 

 

Opinions please. Unless your saying i'm a b a s t a r d, as i know that already too

And yes, I have been cheated on, it was awful. I have never cheated. I hate cheaters. So WHY do i feel like I could trust this lady should anything ever come of our sparks and why do I not look down on her?

 

Has anyone else been in this position? Better yet, has anyone been in her position?

 

I feel so bad, but that feeling and connection was undeniably insane.......

[Soul Bear]

is it to long? sorry...wanted to get all the facts in, I tried to paragraph!!!

[Hkizzle]

Mate, you might has well have put this in the cheating section. Most people cheat because they are lukewarm about a current partner, then someone else comes along, there's chemistry and they go for it.

 

Had this girl posted her side of the story there loads of people would have flamed her for cheating.

 

Chemistry is a big reason for cheating, it's not new. So I don't get what you really want to know.........why you feel you can trust her?

 

Dude, you're attracted to her, of course you feel like you trust her, or want to trust her.

[fishtaco]

Heh. Not your problem. If the guy was your friend, then you are a bastard. But you don't know the guy. It's their problem that their relationship is having issues. If you never existed, she would have found someone else with "extreme chemistry".

 

She's bored with her BF. But she doesn't want to break up with him. Some people are afraid of confrontation, some people are afraid of having "single" status. You never know.

 

Anyway, extreme chemistry means you guys would have had a lot of fun. Chemistry by itself doesn't make a relationship. You barely know her. It only SEEMS like she'd be a great match for you.

 

Oh, never buy the "I've never done this before" line, evar!!!1!

 

Not exactly same situation, but I've felt extreme chemistry before. And since I'm currently single, you know eventually it didn't work out. It takes more than that for a successful relationship.

[D-Lish]

Honestly, sounds like a crazy night!

 

It's probably best nothing comes of it. Imagine if you were dating her- how could you ever trust that she wouldn't sneak off with other guys and get half naked in cloakrooms with them? I'm betting this behaviour isn't new for her.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Unfortunately in cases like this - chemistry is what people call "what is missing in their relationship and they imagine they see it in another person." When an attached person feels it, they feel it twice as hard as a single person because they have a point of reference, so to speak. Their actions and words are over the top, deeply passionate and too good to be true. They sweep you off your feet, to the point where you feel your heart burst into (good) flames. Why? Overcompensating for what they wish they had in their existing relationship. A chance to experience what they feel they are missing. So, they make it a fantasy in real life.

 

A few get the guilts though, and walk away - realizing that fantasy can't sustain.

[SadandConfusedWA]

This girl was WAY, WAY too forward. Extreme chemistry or not, that is her personality (to be sexually bold and initiate) and you can bet that she has done it many times before - after all she obviously has tons of confidence, and you only get that with experience. Even when single and feeling the most extreme chemistry I would never have done what she did. Girls like that are trouble and a capital T.

 

It almost sounds like she is bipolar and in her manic phase.

[Soul Bear]

Wow, thanks for all your replys! I really had to get that out of my system.

I feel pretty bad, it takes 2 too kiss, so I had a part to play as well....

 

I guess it's even worse as she was SOBER....lol....

Naughty naughty girl.....

She was not fwd at all until she kissed me, hence why It was so unexpected...then she just about ate me.

 

Looks like I have some reflection to do too, for allowing myself to let it happen....

[JamesM]

Mu guess is as has been said....her attraction to you in part was her lack of attraction to her BF. This is not to put you down at all, but often discontent in one relationship makes someone else look even more attractive.

 

Let it go. If she shows up again in your life and has no BF, then you can decide if a relationship with her could be built...knowing that she cheated on her previous BF.