Lighten up ladies, men can easily cheat at work/school more than strip bars/porn flix

[Nostalghia]

Lately I have read all these insecure women going on and on about their men going to bachelor parties and viewing the occasional porn clip that a buddy sent via email. I read stuff like "why does he need porn" and "he is disrespecting me" and "they are skanky what is so appealing about them" ....... GET A FRIGGEN GRIP!

 

Take it from a guy who has had a wife, a common-law and many girlfriends both committed and casual ... work/school is the RISKIEST of place(s) to fall for someone else due to the fact that you spend much time with them and share projects together and develop a rapport that can easily get intimate when the discussion can veer off into personal home matters ... been there done it.

 

When I go to a strip bar it's because "the guys" wanted to go so suggesting the library won't work. And using porn as a masturbatory tool is a hell of a lot safer than dipping it in a colleague. Think before you banter ... where are your priorities ladies?!

[UCFKevin]

VERY well said.

[raine]

I don't think my man will cheat but I still don't see the need for strip clubs. Okay, for bachelor parties, but why lap dances?

[quankanne]

I'll grant you 10 points for noting that a man could much more easily find reason to cheat with someone he meets at school or work, but consider this:

 

a woman who goes out with friends to see male strippers dance do so because her intent is to relax and have fun. The fact that the guy is naked makes it more racy, but she's not looking at him as a specimen to take to bed. Walk into any LaBare club and monitor the women. They're laughing, they're screaming, they're joking because it's all a put-on, and they understand that.

 

Now walk into a strip-club and tell me that you honestly see the same kind of reaction from the men there when they see that nekkid or semi-nekkid girl dancing for them.

 

Nope.

 

They're watching all right, but the fantasy for a lot of them is that this girl is doing something for them and only them right now, they're more "into" it physically and emotionally, it's not about laughs and hijinks, but about sexual gratification. And I think this is why so many women feel threatened or are upset about their men frequenting these kinds of clubs. How can they compete with someone their guy lusts after, even if she knows he loves her?

 

men can separate what they do from what they feel, but many of us gals can't. And that's why we resent women who are able to give you that "something" that we're not able to. Especially if she's young, firm and pretty ... how does a wife or girlfriend you've had for a long time compete with that? Why should she want to compete with that?

[moimeme]

There is no competition. Love trumps lust - and enhances it.

[UCFKevin]

I wouldn't say there's any emotion involved whatsoever in a guy going to a stripclub, it's just to look and see a naked woman dance around.

[quankanne]

oh, but I've seen those fixed looks of longing on the faces of many a men as they watch those gals shake what their mama gave them. A little too intense for me to think that he's not thinking of taking her home and having his way with them. And I'd be very uncomfortable with the thought of my husband looking at a girl that way in a place like that, even though I know he's not about to cheat.

 

hmmm, maybe it's more about the idea that when you get into a relationship with someone, its understood that you give up any and all extracurricular goodies while you're together?

[SoleMate]

Wouldn't a stripper/dancer be almost analogous to a picture in a porn mag? She's just an image - untouchable - unknowable - to be looked at and fantasized about.

 

I would worry about the "hooker with a heart of gold" who lets my man cry on her shoulder and tell her all his dreams, while massaging his shoulders and <???> and telling him how terrific he is. That's when they start to fall in "love".

[bark]

I would worry about the "hooker with a heart of gold" who lets my man cry on her shoulder and tell her all his dreams, while massaging his shoulders and <???> and telling him how terrific he is. That's when they start to fall in "love".

 

 

 

Now where do I meet this person?

 

 

Seriously, Nostalgia is absolutely correct: work and school (wholesome places) incubate affairs; strip clubs don't. Watch your bf's or husband's wholesome co-worker closely, not some anonymous stripper at Delilah's.

[lostforwords]

they watch those gals shake what their mama gave them

 

 

.. they shake their hand me down linens???????????

 

 

 

 

 

jk lol

[lostforwords]

Seriously, Nostalgia is absolutely correct: work and school (wholesome places) incubate affairs; strip clubs don't. Watch your bf's or husband's wholesome co-worker closely, not some anonymous stripper at Delilah's.

 

 

or so called best friends who are at your house 3 times a day for "coffee"...... lol

[Frodo]

Congratulations quankanne, you've successfully created a double standard.

 

no, the women wouldn't be going to those female strip clubs if every man in there looked liked pee-wee herman. It is sexual no matter how you want to claim it.

 

that said, live and let live. The men are going to get thrown out of the club if they break the rules, and you will never, never, never, be able to legislate another person's thought life.

 

Try thinking about it this way: If I meet a woman who has romance novels or a picture of a hunk on her wall, I'm not threatened, I actually see it as a good sign. It means she's not prude, and has an active sexual imagination. Same thing for a guy. You meet a man who doesn't masturbate, who doesn't have any fantasies at all, whose raciest item is an old archie comic and he's either very sheltered, or very frustrated, probably due to religion or beliefs. So what you're seeing isn't that big a deal after all.

[EnigmaXOXO]

They may get tossed out of the club for "breaking the rules," but the owners have no jurisdiction over what happens 'outside' of that bar!

 

My current partner hooked up with a stripper who hit on him at a club when he paid her for a lap dance. And she didn't even try to charge him more when she drug him back to her apartment for a free "after hours grope session!!" Of course, he doesn't look like Pee Wee Herman, and he even had a steady girlfriend at the time.

 

Keep them away from that d*mn Champagne Room!!

[bark]

Enigma, what's a "Champagne Room"?

[EnigmaXOXO]

...You mean there's no such thing??????

 

LOL...cute, Bark.

 

You guys can stick together and keep pleading the Fifth to convince those poor naive gals that it's all just innocent "fun."

 

But I got the scoop from a guy who LIKES to kiss and tell, so I'm joining troops with my fellow females!!

 

With all the estrogen in here, you boys don't stand a chance!

[bark]

I'm serious! What is it? I'm not a strip club customer. It certainly sounds interesting.

[EnigmaXOXO]

Nothing 'interesting' about it. Sticky seats and lots of nasty diseases. Stay away Bark, or you're liable to catch something and bring it home to the Mrs..

 

Man...I'm having a serious urge to give your wife a great BIG sympathy hug!

[bark]

Sticky seats and lots of nasty diseases

 

 

Yuck!

[UCFKevin]

What kind of hole in the wall stripclubs have YOU been to, Enigma?

[Nostalghia]

I never said men don't fantasize at strip clubs ... what I said was the chances of YOUR man getting involved with someone at work/school by being with them daily and sharing many casual moments together that will lead to a fling/affair is far more "dangerous" than men going to strip clubs and vieiwing porn - even if they fantasize about them there!

[meanon]

Obvously not the same ones that YOU have been to Kevin - do tell!!! Are you a Champagne man?

[UCFKevin]

Well, I've only been to one in Tampa, but it was top drawer, very clean place, downright classy, really.

[BEASTIEGIRL]

AGREED. And boys, watch your own backs because our male collegues, service guys, technicians, advertisers, fellows in car pool, etc should inspire an equal amount of paranoia in YOU. It's as easy as falling onto a log to find a sympathetic ear and cleavage appreciation for just about any woman who feels emotionally neglected.

[cindy0039]

Originally posted by bark

I'm serious! What is it? I'm not a strip club customer. It certainly sounds interesting.

You buy the "lady" (a/k/a dancer) a bottle of champagne, which is tremendously overpriced, and she takes you to the champagne room, which is essentially a VIP room, for special treatment. I would guess the special treatment depends on the type of establishment, the girl, how much you tip her, etc.

[bark]

Thank-you, cindy. I couldn't get an answer from anyone. It does sound like it could be fun.