Alex288 Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Hello all. I've searched multiple forums and websites and have read countless accounts of this problem. I just need some specific advice for my case. Here's the story: I'm 16. My girlfriend is 16. We've been dating for 3 months and I've never felt like this before about a women, and can't see myself without her. We're in love. My issue is her past. She has had two sex partners (besides me) and they were both when she was only 14. The first guy, who she lost her virginity to, doesn't bother me. The second guy who I personally know very well, does bother me. I knew about both of them before we dated and it only got to me occasionally. But recently, I found out more. About 3 weeks before we dated, she hooked up with the second guy, the one I know. They didn't have sex, but he tried to but she wouldn't let him. No here is the real issue for me. She got chlamidia from him and gave it to me. I can't stand this and it bothers me so much. Just thinking about this guy touching her and trying to go inside of her bothers me so much and I can't get it out of my head. The sex she had two years ago didn't bother me because it was so far in the past. We talked about it, and she said she was young and naive and didn't know what she was thinking. But now that I know she was with the SAME guy she regreted so much recently, I don't know what to think. I can't stop thinking about it and it bothers me so much, I guess especially since she made the same "mistake" twice. And the STI is just a big cherry on top. It's just so hard when you can put a face to things, and it replays in your mind over and over again like a bad movie. It even happened at the party I was at, so I know what she was wearing, I know what my friends room and bed looks like, and I just can;t deal with it. So I guess I'm seeking insight, advice and even comfort. I just want to dispell these thoughts and get over it. I just don't know how or if I can. Please way-in in all ways possible. Also, would seeing a physcologist help me deal with this? thanks in advance. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 How many girls have you slept with? (I'm assuming you didn't lose your virginity to your gf.) Do your past experiences with those girls affect how you feel about this one? What your gf did before she was with you really isn't any of your business, nor is what you did before her any of hers. The sex she had two years ago didn't bother me because it was so far in the past. We talked about it, and she said she was young and naive and didn't know what she was thinking. That's cute but you don't gain a lot of wisdom or life experience between 14 and 16 (no offense). What she did at the time she did because she wanted to, just as you've done things in your past because you wanted to at the time. Don't hold things over her head that aren't your business and that, frankly, she shouldn't have to feel guilty about anyway. She may genuinely regret the past sexual partners or she may have just said that to placate you but either way it's not for you to get high and mighty about. Referring to the past experiences as "mistakes" is a, well, mistake. I think seeing a psychologist is overkill but do what you gotta do. As for the chlamydia, see a doctor for some antibiotics and you're good to go. No big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
rudeaims Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Yeah, and I whored it up too before I commited to my fiance...who cares? Let her past be her past...she needs to get that whole chlamydia thing checked out though, as do you. You are 16. She is 16. The world will still be there tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
girl68 Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 You need to stop thinking about it. That is it, that is all, that is the end. What do you expect her to do? Go back in time and serve him clamidya on a plate? Like what? What she expects you to do is understand she's made a mistake. We ALL HAVE, including yourself. How would you feel if the drugs you smoked (for example) replayed in her mind over and over and over and it killed her love for you? What the hell can you do about it? NOTHING. Get over it. As for the STI- that's nasty get that shiet cleaned up, now. Link to post Share on other sites
lostsunsets Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 She needs to be on guardacil (chlamydia can cause cancer). I hope she is OK with not having kids, because it is a real possibility that she will have problems getting pregnant. Link to post Share on other sites
JustLooking123 Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 She needs to be on guardacil (chlamydia can cause cancer). I hope she is OK with not having kids, because it is a real possibility that she will have problems getting pregnant. Gardasil protects against HPV (which is the virus that causes the vast majority of cervical cancer), not chlamydia. Please do some research before spreading misinformation. OP, wear a condom. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alex288 Posted September 2, 2009 Author Share Posted September 2, 2009 I did infact lose my virginity to my girlfriend. And I have worn a condom everytime, I must have got it in rubbing part before. And most of you guys are mistaking me. I don't hate her for the past, I'm not angry, it's just the thought of her being used kills me inside. And you can say "just stop thinking about it" but its not that simple and I hope you can understand that. Edit: we both got antibiodics the day she found out. We are both clean now. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I did infact lose my virginity to my girlfriend. And I have worn a condom everytime, I must have got it in rubbing part before. And most of you guys are mistaking me. I don't hate her for the past, I'm not angry, it's just the thought of her being used kills me inside. And you can say "just stop thinking about it" but its not that simple and I hope you can understand that. Edit: we both got antibiodics the day she found out. We are both clean now. Listen... she put herself in that position. Plus she is probably lying, cause an STD like that usually requires a good amount of contact to spread. Now, the problem is that you think this girl is something special. Slap! No she isn't! 99% chance she wont be your last GF. Just think of her as a practice relationship... and stop worrying about her getting used. Also... make sure your not having a dick size insecurity thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 Don't hold things over her head that aren't your business and that, frankly, she shouldn't have to feel guilty about anyway. I think getting an STD is his business... kind of rude to suggest otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I think getting an STD is his business... kind of rude to suggest otherwise. I was referring to her having past sexual partners. Don't put words in my mouth. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I was referring to her having past sexual partners. Don't put words in my mouth. In this situation... how are those two things different? Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 In this situation... how are those two things different? Her having chlamydia is his business since they're having sex. Who she got it from, how many people she's been with, etc... is not his business. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alex288 Posted September 4, 2009 Author Share Posted September 4, 2009 Good news everyone.. I talked to the guy she was with 3 weeks ago.. they did have sex. she, or is telling me, she was too drunk to remember. we're fighting now. lifes great :/ Link to post Share on other sites
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