What do you guys think?

[fireman81]

I just found this forum and this thread describes my situation almost to a T, I just had to share my story. Have been with the same girl will call her “Jane” since high school. We dated for 6 years and were on the verge of getting married when all of the sudden she went cold after we have been getting into domestic verbal fights and the romantic flame was next to 0. We break up, she says I am not the correct person for her etc. Months later I found out that she had some other guy on the side, ofcourse she swore to me up and down that there was never anybody there. All lies. I got over her but when I discovered about the other guy (through a mutual friend) I was beyond hurt and actually depressed for a long time after. I am a paramedic and volunteer firefighter so one of our main issues was my schedule and she felt like I was too harsh on her and insensitive as she put it. I would stand my ground and we would yell back and forth over just about everything because of my job and general life stress. In reality we needed a vacation not a breakup.

 

The other guy turned out to be a distant friend of a friend who is a clerk at one of her ad agencies, and just as you described is the weak feminine type. Me and her have several mutual friends in common and they laid it all out for me as she talks to them daily. Turns out that when we started fighting this guy was always around the corner, played the nice guy role so naturally she developed an attachment and next thing you know she is seeing him behind my back. Fast forward 10 months and you guessed it…. she is bored with him and all of the sudden she send me an email out of the blue wanting to talk. All of the sudden she wants the “jerk” “*******” back as the other guy is plain as rice and she is bored with him. Ofcourse I told her that its too late now as the betrayal was not something simple or easy to live with. Watch out guys they always realize that the rebound is just a rebound and dump him sooner or later, maybe in a month maybe in a year. The rebound guys are always the nice shy type without any gonads that’s why they get sucked into the whole mess in the first place. Chances are she dumped him by now and is looking to spice things up again. Don’t fall for it when she comes running back!

[fatamus]

Hey fire, I forgot all about this thread again. Funny I joined this forum to ask for an unbiased opinion and ended up staying and browsing around I think it’s a good resource forum.

 

Its funny you said your ex came back as me and my buddies were talking about breakups and such the other day and someone I know got back together after several years apart and many partners in-between, I guess sometimes it’s never over and you never know. Anyway, yeah the betrayal is the worst part by far and not the actual breakup, being cheated on is the sickest gut feeling in the world. I am pretty sure she knows how I feel and I doubt she will try to comeback and If I had to put my money on the table I would say with 100% certainty that she is still with the other kid as she is too weak of a person to be alone as she needs constant companionship and for somebody to be there. Anyway I am dating what seems to be a great girl right now and while it’s not the same crazy passion as I had when I was 20 it might turn into something who knows, and I am ok being alone as I might actually end up. Once in a while I think back and realize what me and my ex threw away over bullsh*t, we were just 2 confused kids who didn’t know any better. Sometimes I miss her and get very emotional but then I remind myself that my memory of her is not of the same person, as in the end she turned into the worst. What’s done is done and I am sure she doesn’t feel any guilt at the present moment but I hope that as the years roll by she will realize how much she has hurt someone. Back then I really did love her more than life itself and gave it my all. I guess such is life.