VelvetShadows Posted November 20, 2003 Share Posted November 20, 2003 [font=century gothic][color=violet] He wont let go. I've been having relationships with two wonderful guys. Both have places in my heart. And both know of the other. Thing is one is 12 years younger then me, the other is 8. Here's the thing. They both knew of the other but they didnt know of the extent on how i felt about the other until this last Saturday when the two of them confronted each other in a chat room. The older one of course, acted like he was younger and vice versa with way things went on. The younger one though, pretty much forced me into decideing on who i wanted to be with. Now my feelings are super strong for this younger one. Have been all a long, so i chose him of course. Well thing is i dont know if i had made the right decision. Now the other guy has a lot to offer me. Has done a lot of stuff for me where the younger one hasnt done anything yet to prove his worth. Just that i know i love him so much that i can even bare the though of ever leaving him. But instead of swallowing his slap in the face from that confrontation and moving on. The older one has done nothing but pestered me and trying to point out everything hes done , all the bad stuff the other has done, stuff that upsets me with the younger guy.. Now , i pointed out to the older guy he isnt perfect either. But anyway, there is of course a lot more to it. Thing is, i like this older guy only because he's been there in ways the other hasnt yet. More supportative. Ok.. so now i've asked for space from both of them.. Neither of them seem to want to give me space. In fact if anything both are getting to the point they keep threatening each other. Now the younger one is acting a little bit more level headed on the situation but the other one has so many points that he makes about the younger guy that it makes it hard. Both guys are saying they will fight for me and its driving me nuts. Like i am some sort of prize to be won or something. I know to most girls it seems romantic and it did at first but tell you what it drives you up a freaking wall. I have lost sleep, havent eaten... and everything over this . And its all because i love two guys and they love me. But when i try to end things with the one.. the older guy. He keeps pushing and pushing .. trying to make everything will go bad if i leave him for the other guy.. That eventually i will see everything he says is true about the other and will come back to him... The younger guy hasnt done this... he just says one or two words about the other being this way and then we can talk normally. Does anyone have any suggestions on how i can get this settled? I mean i cant seem to get anyone to back off long enough to give me time to think. I dont want to lose them both because i had to think but i do know that it could happen. Anyway.. I am 30 The younger guy is 19 The older one is 22. So if that helps with your comments... anyway i need help with this soon because its driving me nuts. If you need more details or whatever i am glad to share them... Just Private message me. Thanks Velvet [/color] Link to post Share on other sites
BraveGirl Posted November 20, 2003 Share Posted November 20, 2003 How can you love 2 guys and have relationships with them both???! No wonder they are fighting, what do you expect? It's not fair on them to say the least. Leave both and be monogamous later in with someone else otherwise everyone is going to carry on getting hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
MIKEY Posted November 20, 2003 Share Posted November 20, 2003 yeah--here is my advice--stop acting younger than the both of them and grow up--what business do you have being w/ a 19 yr old anyway Link to post Share on other sites
LauraD Posted November 21, 2003 Share Posted November 21, 2003 I disagree with Mikey. I think that there is a really nauseating double standard when it comes to age discrepancy relationships. She is 30 and is dating a 19 year old young man, but more often than not it is the reverse--the much older man is seeking out a younger girl. I want to know why that is considered okay. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VelvetShadows Posted November 21, 2003 Author Share Posted November 21, 2003 Thank You Laura... Finally someone agrees with me. Never did understand why its ok for even a 50 year old man to date an 18 year old girl and not have it shunned. But if a 30 year old woman looks at an 18 year old guy then its like we've committed the ultimate sin. As i tell everyone and Age is just a number But i am not going to go on here because i am in a very foul mood and dont want to chew other posters ears off so Adios! Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted November 21, 2003 Share Posted November 21, 2003 I don't think age is ever a factor in the love arena. However, as I've posted before, if you can't chose between two people....chances are you don't love either one of them ENOUGH to be totally happy with them. Obviously, they are individually missing some character trait or some other dymanic you are seeking in a relationship. Unfotunately, you can't melt two people together to form the perfect guy for you. (And I SURE wish that was possible!) Having both your lovers in the same chat room though.....is NOT an act of wisdom. What WERE you thinking???? LOL! I've dated (not been in a relationship though) more than one guy at a time. I make it my personal BUSINESS to keep them as far from each other as possible. I never tell one guy anything about another guy I may be seeing. As far as your delimma.....all you can do is make a choice and hope you made the right one. If you are concerned that you didn't.....maybe you should break up with BOTH of them fair and square and find someone who IS all the things you are looking for embodied in ONE person. Link to post Share on other sites
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