pbrown Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 I've been with this guy for 10 years. We have lived together for the last 7, and we have two little girls. While i was pregnant with our first we went different directions, well we ended up working things out. We have talked about marriage and all i hear is excuses on why we cant so i get a feeling he isn't ready. I feel like there is something that he is holding on too and can't seem to let go in order for him to make this commitment . I love this man for many reason and plus he is the father of my two children and i feel like its time for us to make a commitment to each other. I want this more than anything. I feel like as the days past wanting this is just pushing me away from him. It makes me feel like im not the one for him, that he does't love me as much as i think he does and i feel like he is holding on to someone from the past.. I feel like Im wasting my life waiting on him when there is someone else that would love to have someone like me, that would love to have a commitmented relationship like i do. I feel lost and confused. Why doesn't he want to make a commitment?? Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 He already IS committed to you. You've been together for a decade, how two kids! How much more of a commitment could you possibly want? More to the point, aside from the monumental expense, the unbelievable stresses that wedding planning brings and all that other not-so-fun stuff, what do you think would be improved by a marriage document? Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 I've been with this guy for 10 years. We have lived together for the last 7, and we have two little girls. While i was pregnant with our first we went different directions, well we ended up working things out. We have talked about marriage and all i hear is excuses on why we cant so i get a feeling he isn't ready. I feel like there is something that he is holding on too and can't seem to let go in order for him to make this commitment . I love this man for many reason and plus he is the father of my two children and i feel like its time for us to make a commitment to each other. I want this more than anything. I feel like as the days past wanting this is just pushing me away from him. It makes me feel like im not the one for him, that he does't love me as much as i think he does and i feel like he is holding on to someone from the past.. I feel like Im wasting my life waiting on him when there is someone else that would love to have someone like me, that would love to have a commitmented relationship like i do. I feel lost and confused. Why doesn't he want to make a commitment?? Have you ever asked HIM why he wont make a committment? I know you said he gives you excuses why he isn't ready, what kinds of excuses are they? You two are basically married minus the piece of paper, so the only thing I can think of (sorry to say) is that he wants an easy way to walk away if he feels like he wants to without having to go through with a divorce. I know people will say that men have legitimate reasons for not committing but after 10 years I don't think this man does have any excuses. Oh why did you break up when you were pregnant? He may be scared that you two will break up again since it has happened before? Link to post Share on other sites
Author pbrown Posted September 3, 2009 Author Share Posted September 3, 2009 what we have is a promise to each other not a commitment.. There is a difference.. In my eyes anyways.. A promise can be broken and be token away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pbrown Posted September 3, 2009 Author Share Posted September 3, 2009 he moved his best friend in and ended up sleeping with her and choosing her over me.. Link to post Share on other sites
MeadowGlitter Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Most married couples I know do not last as long as your relationship lasts. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 He likely does not want to take the financial risk of divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 what we have is a promise to each other not a commitment.. There is a difference.. In my eyes anyways.. A promise can be broken and be token away. Why did you agree to a promise if what you REALLY want is a committment? And the fact that he slept with his best friend and chose her while you were pregnant? Why do you think this guy would make a good husband after doing something like that? I would never trust him ever again if I were you. Link to post Share on other sites
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