ok i really need some help and no one will help me!!! please help me

[adidas6380]

ok, my girlfriend just broke up with me lat week. we had been with each other since the summer. i decided to take my summer vacation to where she was so i could ask her out on the beach. and i also laft early to be with her at home. everything was going great, or so it seemed.

 

a few weeks ago i noticed that things didnt really seem to be going to well. something seemed wrong with her. so itried everything. i went and got her roses for holloween to match her costume. and i also buaght her a rose on a feild trip and gve it to her after school. but things still didnt seem right so i asked her if something was wrong with us. she said know and i asked ehr how she felt about our relationship and she said that it felt so much stronger then before. i dont know.

 

but last friday i was supose to take her to the football game. and i came down to my computer and she left me a message saying that i didnt have to pick her up and that she was just going with her friends. i knew something was wrong then. so i talked to her best friends and asked her if she had said anything about us and she said yes. so then i asked her if she was going to break up with me and she said she didnt know. so i talked to her and she did it. she told me she felt it was getting too serious and that was it. i felt horrible the rest of that day. i stayed home that night and just sat there thinking about everything. i didnt know what to say. i didnt get any sleep that night. i just sat in my bed staring at the ceiling. so the next morning i wrote her an e-mail asking her what went wrong and why she didnt ask me about it before she did this. and i asked ehr if she could give me another chance.she read it and her friends was on the phone with her and i was talking to her friend online. her friends said that she was speachless. she never wrote me back and she wouldnt talk to me. i went on through the day trying to keep my mind of her but i couldnt. i finally went out and then i came back and she had left a message on my computer saying that she wasnt going to ride to school with me anymore. i just got up, left my house and kept walking. i walked for about 2 hours. till the point that i couldnt feel my arms anymore. then i called someone to pick me up. i got home and had nothing to do but thinbk about her so then i ecided to go to a movie with my older sister. i went to the movie but i couldnt concentrate on it. all i thought about was how i use to hold her in the movies. so when the movie was done i told my sister that i couldnt stay and i left. i got home and wrote her another e-mail. i said in it that i was pretty much giving up. that i couldnt change the way she feels about me and i dont know why i tried. i talked to her brother and told him to tell her to read her mail. she did. this time she wrote me back. she said in it she never said that she wouldnt give me another chance and that she would love to but she just wanted some time to be with herself and her friends. and she told me that she will tell me when she is ready. i didnt know what to think about this. later we started talking online and we talked about our relationship the things that were wrong and there werent that many things. so i thought we were ok and i got her to still ride with me to school. that night i had a dream that we were just sitting in her room watching tv just like we use too. i woke up feeling so weird. so i pick her up and we dont say anything at all. during schoolo i couldnt think about anything but her. i couldnt concentrate on my work so i fianlly left class and went to the pool to talk to the teacher down there, a good friend of the family. she told me that i could stay there for as long as i needed. so i did. then i went to lunch and tlked to someone there. then she came up to me like nothing ever happened. i didnt ezpect this from her. so i was like whatever and just went along with it.

 

i talked to a lot of poeple about this and they were telling me different things. some were saying that i need to forget her and that i am too good for her. and other are telling me to hold on to it. i was so confused a this point. so on wed at school i tried to be cool with her but she seemed to be ignoring me. so i just left her and her friend. but during class i wrote her a note telling her exactly how i felt and what everyone is sayign about it. i told her i was confused about everything and that i did know what i should do. i said i didnt know if i was wasting my time or if she was really going to come back to me. it took me the whole period to wite this note. so during the class change i gave her the note and walked away. after htat class i saw her and asked ehr if she read the note. she said yes and nothing else. so i asked ehr if she had anything to say and she said that she was still thinking. so i just finally said that when she is done thinking i will be outside with my brother and walked away. she never came out so i walked in to go buy a water and looked over to where she was sitting and i saw her friends reading the note and she was crying. i felt horrible. then after school she came out to me car and didnt say anything. she just sat there with her face in her hands. i didnt know what to do. so when we got to her house i asked her about it again. she started balling then. she said that she is going through a really hard time right now and she doesnt know what she wants anymore. we sat there crying for a while then i pulled her to me and she clenched onto me. we sat there holding each other for about 15 min with out saying anything. then i let go and told her that i am sorry about all of this. she still didnt say anythjing she just stayed there with her head on my shoulder. then i had to go and she said "Chris i love you but i just need a few weeks." then i said i loved her too. that is the first time we have ever said that to each other. so how could things have gotten to serious. i dont know. but i left and we didnt talk again that day. then the next day we talked like nothing had happened. so i thought everything was going to be ok. but i was still talking to people that were telling me to forget it. i didnt want to listen to them. the i was talking to someone that knows her pretty well and she told her on monday that she was going to get back with me sooner or later. so i was feeling pretty good. then friday she and her best friends were going to the ice house to go ice skating. that is where we had our first date. i was talking to her about it saying how much fun it was and how stupid i lloked out there. she said that i looked so cute that night. i said the only thing that was keeping us up or at least me we us. she laughed. and she said that that night was so fun. we talked from about 3 to 6:30. we talked about he good times we had and stuff like that. i told her that in the hauted house the reason i wasnt scared was because i was laughing at her and her friends the whole time. it was funny how they were so scared. but online we started flirting like we used to. then i went out and didnt get back till about 1:30 that mornign so i didnt get to talk to her that night again or the next day because whe went out of town. but i tlaked to her friends that she went to the ice house with and i asked her if she said anying lat night and she said she did but she wouldnt ell me what she siad. but now i dont know what i can do to make sure she does come back to me. she means so much to me. no other girl has made me feel the way she did. i would do anything for her. she is so different from all the other girls from my school and that what i like about her. her personality is the best. she doesnt care what anyone says about her, she just blows thm off. she handles everything great. i love her so much and i dont know if i can go on without her. but i need to know what to do now so i can play my cards right and make sure htat she comes back to my arms. i need some good advice from this point. please help!

[Arabess]

There are no cards in the world which will bring someone back to you. Either they choose to come back or they don't.

 

Even though at this time it may seem she is the only girl in the world for you....that feeling will change as you get older and move thru your life. Since you stated you were still in high school.....trust me....you still have lots of other women in your future.

 

I'm not minimizing how you are feeling. Love doesn't know age. The pain and loss of losing someone you love is difficult no matter what. However, with so many years in front of you....the healing will come faster because your life options at this point....are endless. You have your whole life to look forward to.

 

Hang in there my friend.....

[HokeyReligions]

Arabess summed it up pretty well.

 

There is no magic formula to get someone back in your life. Just because you want them there doesn't mean its the best thing.

 

I know you are hurting, but think of it this way - do you want someone in your life who doesn't feel the same way you do? Their physical presence might be comforting for a while -- being able to hold each other in a movie theater, or holding hands in a haunted house, etc. But its shallow comfort if that person does not return your love. It's a sad and painfull fact we all have to face sometimes and will only hurt more in the long run.

 

She needs to get her feelings sorted out. The relationship is going faster then she is ready for -- she told you that it was getting to serious. Holding on to something known and familiar because of the fear of the unknown is a trap we all fall into sometimes. It's hard to let go -- but letting go can be the best thing because new and better relationships await you. You could break up for a while and find each other again later and both be better people for the new experiences you each had. If that happens you won't fall into the 'old' relationship - you will build a better one. Chance are good though that you will find others as you travel through life that will make this relationship become one of those sweet memories and you won't hurt when you think of her.

[adidas6380]

i understand what you are saying but that about you saying that i dont know about her wanting me well after i posted this a friend of hers came and told me that the wanting to get back together is mutual. she still wants to be my girlfriend but wants some time to be with her friends. people are saying tha fter thanksgiving she want to get back together.

[quankanne]

it sounds like the girl does like you and enjoys being with you, but has suddenly realized that things are getting too intimate too fast. Intimate as in close: physically, spatially, time-wise. She's probably realized that while she does enjoy being with you, the smart thing to do is to take a step back until she's at a point where she's comfortable with the idea of the two of you being that close. It doesn't mean she's bad or that she doesn't care for you, but that she understands this is something she's going to have to figure out so that she can give freely of herself to your relationship.

 

I know it's killing you to have things change the way they have, seemingly without any "real" reason, but if you care about her as your friend, give her space. Let her know you miss her, and that you're still good for rides to and from school (or whatever else her needs are that you can meet), then give her the space she needs so that she can feel comfortable about your relationship with her. She needs to know that you do care, but that you respect her boundaries/her need for space while she figures these things out.

 

it happens in every relationship, whether it's just at the dating stage or in a long-time marriage. in successful relationships, partners learn when to back off and give the other breathing space, and realize that asking for a little bit of space (or privacy) doesn't mean the love or the caring has stopped, but simply that one needs breathing space.

[adidas6380]

ok. i talked to her today. everything is fine. she still wants to get back together with me. but people keep talking to her about us and she is starting to get annoyed by it. people are also talking to me and i am starting to get annoyed and confused. when i aksed her about it she said it is but it has no affect of the way she feels about me. i am trying to get people to stop talking about it but i dont think they will. and another thing, a friend of hers from middle school hates me and i know she has a big impact on the way she feels. i dont know what to do about her. and im afraid taht she might really try to keep bri away from me. i need to know what to do about her.

[adidas6380]

ok now im really confused. yesterday i went to the mall and she was there with one of her friends that hate me. but she also had some other friends that were at the mall but werent with her. and they are friends of mine too. so i show up at the mall to get a new hat and the girls that i know started yelling for me and then they go with me to get my hat. then we ran into bri and her ather friend. we chilled with them for a little bit then bri had to go somewhere. i dont know if she expected me to go with her or not but i stayed with the other girls. i stayed with them for a little while and they helped me shop for christmas stuff for my sister. but then i left. then later that night i started talking to the girls online and they invited me over to one of their houses. so i go over there and chill with them till midnight. it was cool. but i found myself really flirting around with one of the girls and i think i might really like her. i dont knoe. it might just be because she reminds me so much of bri. but i left at midnight and went home and got online and bri was on. she asked me what i did tonight and i told her that i went to andi's house to chill with her and katie. she said SO you spent the whole day with them? and i said no. then she was like so they just called you to come over then? and i told her that we were talking online and they invieted me over. then she didnt really say anythig else and then she said she was going to bed because she wasnt feeling very good. so then she left. im really confused now. i dont know if i should still keep waiting for her or if i should just move on to this other girl. i dont know. i still really love her but this break is just making things reall wierd now.